My husband told me he wouldn't be with me if we didn't have kids: Thoughts?

Husband of 9 years has told me, for the 2nd time this year, if it wasn’t for the kids, we wouldn’t be together right now. And he is very, very unhappy. How would you take that? My friend said it pretty much means he doesn’t love me. The reason he told me this was because I told him I’m sick of his gaming addiction and him not helping around the house with anything. That is just bringing home a paycheck doesn’t mean he has done his part as a dad and husband. And he thinks I need to get off my lazy ass and go to work also. I plan to this year, but he just makes me feel like I do nothing. I admit, I am depressed and burned out from carrying it all for so long that I don’t think I can do it anymore. Tia

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If a man told be he wouldn’t be with me if we didn’t have the kids. . . he’d be single :woman_shrugging:t3: Why stay with a man whose unhappy and settling?

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Leave since you are already doing it all on your own. Find someone that wants to be a part of your family and appreciates you.

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Unhappy parents tend to lead to unhappy children. Separate and learn how to co-parent with each other

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It means he’s only with you because of the kids, not sure how much clearer you want it. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Yup. Leave. No one deserves to be in an unhappy marriage and staying for the kids can cause long term mental problems. Just don’t be a bitch and take the kids out of spite.

I think you definitely need to separate

It sounds like you are both hurting and being selfish. You need to decide if you wanna fix it or move on before it gets any more toxic. But that means assessing his needs as much as yours. Better think on it.

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Leave. You’ll be better off and that’s probably why your depressed.

Yep he needs to go. What Man plays video games? He needs to grow up. Don’t waste any more time sweetie 2020 is on us and you my friend need a new beginning.

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You resent him for playing video games and not helping around the house. He resents you for not contributing financially.

Go to counseling or go your separate ways.

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Im a little over a year FREE of hearing that. You deserve better. Have to see if things are fixable or gotta walk

Run like the devil is after you, because he will never change and if he loved you he would never say that to you.

Tell him to pack his bags, or better yet you do it for him and say bye, hes telling you hes in happy, and hes mentally abusing you by telling you your lazy soooo

He’s a douche and probably cheat. Get a job and a new man

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Sounds like hes made it clear he is only still with you cuz yall have kids since he said exactly that lol. If I were told that by my spouse I’d end things and get my own place or have them leave or whatever is easiest… whats the point of staying together if its only for the kids? That does more damage than anything else to the children so may as well separate now and move on with your life before your home becomes an even more unloving toxic enviornment for the kids to grow up in. Hopefully you can co-parent civilly.

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Sounds like you’re both unhappy, try to find a way to bring that spark back but if he/you are unwilling it might just be time to call it quits.

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He’s not happy, you’re not happy, I can promise you that your kids sense that! Don’t stay together for the kids, they deserve better.

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Maybe you both are tired from each other feeling like you are both carrying it all. He’s working and paying the bills. You’re at home taking care of the house and kiddos. It’s a two way street.
A serious talk is likely needed and go from there. You both are unhappy but for different reasons.

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He’ll regret saying that one day. And you’ll be too happy to care. Promise. Move on. Quickly.

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