My husband told me I need to work more: Advice?

Just a question here for all the moms or dads. My husband had career-making good money when we met. I was making minimum wage at a job I liked helping kids. When I got pregnant, I was obviously the one to stay home and take care of the kids. Fast forward two kids later. Both are in school. I immediately went and got two part-time jobs minimum wage, of course. I have one job now, and I try my best to help out, but it’s hard to keep steady income when I have to be the one to stay home when they are sick, snow days, school vacations, and summer break. We don’t have grandparents to pick them up or stay home with them. I picked up extra shifts at my job granted. It’s still only 20 hours a week, but I got cut hours because I call out too much between both kids. According to my husband, I’m not “hungry” enough; I don’t try enough. He expects me to work more, which I can’t do at this point but my boss won’t give me the hours because I’m not reliable. He says he could help by picking them up from school. But he would have to bring them back to work, and they would have to sit there in a warehouse every day. Or sit there on weekends while he works, and I’m at my job. Am I wrong for not wanting my kids sitting somewhere they don’t want to be and spending all their free time at work? What do other moms or dads do with their kids after school or on school breaks? We can’t afford extra school activities or pay someone to stay with them.

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Why settle for minimum wage? Aiming higher will pay more so they can have sitters and after school. I agree that working and being the primary caregiver is HARD though. Very.

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Work more and let him step up, he will get over that really quickly

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Tell him you’ll be “hungry” if he starts calling out for the kids all the time instead of you. His tune would change fast. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Maybe try and work for a company that pays more than minimum wage? City jobs, county job, school districts etc part time. They usually don’t require more than a high school diploma, and often offer opportunities to grow. It’s hard to work full time with small kids and no help from family members. What happened to your husbands job he had before? You didn’t mention his job now. No you’re not wrong for wanting to spend time with your kids.

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he should pay for your college education if he want’s. you to make more or have your pick of hours. Sounds like he’s not hungry enough

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I remember many days of my dad picking my sister and me up from school and us going back to work with him while he finished up. I sometimes do the same with my kids now. Personally I think it’s good for the kids, helps them learn work ethic and socialization and they can help with simple tasks as well and feel like they’re helping out.

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You’re not wrong! And your husband is a dick. The kids don’t deserve to be punished by being forced to sit somewhere god awful with no interaction with anyone but themselves. If anything, going back to school should be an option for you. Whether that’s trade school or a certification program or what have you. That way you can make more than minimum wage and afford care during holiday breaks. Also let him know HE can call out when kids get sick if he doesn’t like what you’re doing now!!

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Maybe try getting a job at your kids school. That way you will be off weekends, holidays, and summer break to be with the kids.

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I had five kids and worked night shift then slept in the evenings
If you want it don’t go get it.
Using the kids for the reason is just blame

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Why not work a job overnight? That may help

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Maybe look for a better career path. I agree it’s hard with kids but it is doable and if you get a better job, you will be able to afford after school activities so the kids will be ok at the warehouse while you start your own career. Look at it as a stepping stone and a better future. I’m happy my husband pushed me to work more, now I have a better job and even decided to go back to school. And we can afford daycare plus vacations. But I agree it is hard having two working parents with kids.

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He kind of sounds like an ass . Have you thought about working 3rd shift and sleeping when the kids are in school ? Then you should be rested by the time they get home.

Maybe you could try to start your own daycare. That way the kids are with you and you will make more money

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Maybe your husband needs to get a second job🙄

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I work 8-3 while kids are in school 3 days a week and sat and sun when husband is home

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Let him take them to warehouse, i bet it wont last a week before he is willing to pick up more shifts and quits complaining🤷

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Tell him to call out of his job for the kids next time. He’ll be singing a new tune in now time.

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I stayed at home for 10 years. My youngest just started all day school last year and I started subbing in the school cafeteria at the 4 schools in our district. This year I got a contract at the schand work 5 days a week a few hours a day. But I have all the same days off as my kids and will get paid during summer break as well.

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Single mom of three…with a career. I went back to work when my youngest was two months and been on the grind since. Graduated college twice, with three small kids while holding a full time job and up keeping a home. I understand the struggles, but it’s possible.

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