My husband wants to visit his grandma in a nursing home: But I am worried

Y’all, I am not ready for this argument with my fiancé later. He wants to go visit his great grandmother that he always disliked and never got along with on Sunday. That’s all fine and well, but she’s in a nursing home. With this pandemic going on and it being cold/flu season… I’d really rather not bring my family (which includes our 2-year-old son and almost one-year-old daughter) to a breeding ground for diseases. Not only that but last month, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, putting her in the high-risk category for any sort of infection. She hasn’t seen my kids (who LOVE her) in almost a month since before he last chemo treatment. We are supposed to be visiting her and my grandmother on Sunday as well, but in the afternoon as he wants to visit his great grandmother in the morning. He’s at work right now, so I just sent him a message saying that if he still wants to visit her, it will have to be after we see my mother. We can’t risk exposing her to something just because he wants to introduce our children to this horrible woman he’s had nothing good to say about, just because she’s on her last legs. Does that make me sound inconsiderate? I just feel like he’s going to make it an argument because he thinks my mom is overdramatic.

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Maybe split it up. You go see your mom with the kids and he goes and sees his grandma while you’re with your Mom.

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Can you even visit? Most people I know are doing window visits they aren’t allowed in. The nursing homes don’t want random people in there neither

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I would say, I could think of a lot worse words to call you than inconsiderate …

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I agree with Tia an Michele

The nursing homes around here won’t allow anyone under 18 to visit, not to mention that you must make an appointment for the visit. Besides that, you are being perfectly reasonable in not wanting to put your mother and children at risk.

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I work in a nursing home/assisted living, and it is far from a breeding ground. It is more strict there, than anywhere else. You have to make an appointment to be seen, ahead of time, it is outside 6ft apart unless you have further training then can be inside for 1 hr. Everyone has to wear a mask, have temps taken prior and maintain 6 ft distance. And if you can have kids or more than 1 person with, you are only allowed an outdoor visit.

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And honestly why do you think a nursing home is a breeding ground for diseases? They have been on real lock down . Do you know how happy she would be to see all of you?!! You sound very selfish …there are a ton of precautions you can take . You don’t know how many days she has left!

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Maybe before you lose your mind over it you kind of find out what is allowed to happen at the nursing home and what isn’t.

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Yes, you are inconsiderate AND selfish

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You see your mom and let him see his grandmother. Chances are he will have to stay outside for the visit

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Take that visit. You have no idea how important that would be to them both. I work Long Term Care. My residents miss their family so much. They can now see them outside for 30 minutes at a time. Still 6ft apart. And masks on. Believe me they both need this. Take from someone who has been watching my residents decline because of lockdown. It’s heartbreaking.

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You’re more likely to take it into the facility.

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We’re I’m at all nursing home are on lock down no visitors in or out the doors are locked the only people that can get in is the Workers Iv not seen my Grandma Sence COVID started bucse it’s been on lock down and will stay that way untill it settles down here or gone so with that said I’d love to go see her but I caint and you got to put yourself in his shoes to it’s not all one sided ina realshipe but good luck

All I can say is if my husband tried this on me… it wouldn’t go over well. You sound very childish, inconsiderate and selfish. You have no clue how long his great grandmother has left on this earth. Why take away what could be the last time he sees or talks to her?

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Soooooo you’re concerned with exposing your mother but not worried about exposing his great grandmother? They’re both considered high risk. Even if he doesn’t have anything nice to say about her she’s still his great grandmother. Maybe he wants to visit her before she passes and he feels like that is going to happen soon. She clearly means something to him if he wants to see her so bad. Be supportive like he is for you in going to visit your mother and grandmother. His family and his feelings matter too.

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Find out the stipulations of the nursing home… they may not even let your kids in hc of everything going on so it may be a fight that does not even have to happen…bf my grandmother passed away they told us we could see her from the window and my daughter is 15 and they wouldn’t let her in…they may both need closure on something and this is there way of getting it bf something happens to her

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Go to her window and just visit thru that, call the nursing home and have them put the phone on speaker phone so you guys can talk, I work in an nursing home, we are still 6 ft across from everyone if they visit anyway!

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Absolutely do NOT take your babies to a nursing home! Worst idea ever. I don’t know where you live, but in my state, nursing homes allow only 1 visitor right now anyway. Don’t take babies with vulnerable immune systems to a breeding ground of infection!

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The nursing home i used to work at has just started allowing visitors and they have been covid free this entire time. If you don’t want to go then you don’t have to plain and simple. I was not able to see my pappy when he went to a nursing nor was i able to travel in for the funeral

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