My husband works a lot and I feel like our relationship is lacking: Advice?

My husband is a workaholic. What can I do? My husband and I have been together for over 20 years. We have three kids ranging in age from 2 months old to 8 years old. He went to school for a long time to do his profession, but it is demanding. Lately it has really taken its toll on me more than normal. He is very stressed out and it’s nearly impossible to even have a conversation with him anymore. If I need to get ahold of him at work, he acts short with me and hangs up the phone on me if he even answers it. I feel so invisible. I get no attention from him because he has so much work he brings home. He does help some with the kids, but that is because he can give them an electronic or put them in front of the TV and do his work at the same time. And just for the record I know he is not cheating. Also, I have my own money from an inheritance so I could leave and be ok. I just feel so alone. I have tried talking to him many times, suggested counseling, gotten mad, been nice, and approached the subject gently. I just don’t know what to do. I need more communication and affection in a marriage. I feel so alone. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

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My husband (now retired) but works as a government contractor now was a cop and a soldier. It’s really hard to have a relationship across an ocean for 6-18 months knowing people want your husband dead.

Ask him to see a counselor with you.

It’s a hard deal sometimes. If he has to work that much, that’s one thing. If he chooses, that’s another.

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Sounds like you’ve tried everything and he’s not budging. You can try again or leave.

If you have asked him all of that and its not working…then move on…
You cannot force a relationship.

Sounds like it’s more him then you. He is stress with workn while you want that companionship. Need to figure out a balance that’s healthy for the both of you

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To be honest is he trying to match or make money to at least buy you things?You said you have your own money.Just a thought.No offense.

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He has to realize that he isn’t do his job as your husband and if he doesn’t then you should go…

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Is he choosing to take on more work, go in on days off when he doesn’t need to or is it just his job is demanding? If he is chosing this you really need to sit him down, tell him its a serious problem. If it is just his job is demanding talk to him, tell him you miss him and you can see he is stressed out. Suggedt a date night once every couple of weeks you dont need to go out but dinner just the two of you, no phones, no t.v. for a hour just talk and enjoy eachother. He probably sees he works hard now to provide a good life for your family and a good life when he retires just bare that in mine x

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Try talking to him again. Give him an ultimatum .

Just be more sexy who knows maybe that will work try to get he’s attention one way or another . So said nothing is working . Well try that .

its nt easy to say leave him remember u have kids wid da man…he mayb a workaholic but its for da betterment of his family. Todays world is tough especially for kids im sure he wants der future to b bright widowt any difficulties…all i can say is sit down over a nice dinner if even if u have to force him nd express ur views nd let him knw dat u also need him.

its nt easy to say leave him remember u have kids wid da man…he mayb a workaholic but its for da betterment of his family. Todays world is tough especially for kids im sure he wants der future to b bright widowt any difficulties…all i can say is sit down over a nice dinner if even if u have to force him nd express ur views nd let him knw dat u also need him.

Try and see about dates? Or counseling an talking about what’s really bothering him and y’all

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Talk to him. Ask him if you can support him in anyway to make his work easier. I don’t think separation is the answer here.
Put yourself in his shoes too, can you imagine being stressed about work and being stressed at home too?

Talk to him about the way he’s treating you, that you don’t appreciate it, ask him what you both can do to change this.

Try counseling just for yourself at first, then see if he will join you. Also, try cooking something special for the two of you, put the kids to bed early or send them to grandparents for the weekend.

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I would be checking up on him.

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You’ve covered all the bases, including financial stability, which typically keeps women in this type of situation. If your husband is indeed overwhelmed with work responsibilities, and he is NOT deliberately avoiding home life, start with a weekly date night. Agree to a night that makes sense for both of you. Have the baby sitter lined up every Friday night for example. There’s typically no work the next day. If he has to work over the weekend - suggest he does Sunday afternoon when the kids are napping. If he can’t agree to weekly dates, or cancels last minute, treat yourself to a free night from mothering. Couples therapy would be very helpful, but I suggest you start having individual sessions immediately. You will be shown your life. Best of luck. :pray::pray::pray:

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Only God can change him and only if he wants to change. Pray for God to change this heart and put his priorities in line of importance.