My husband works and comes home and doesn't help with the kids: Thoughts?

Okay, so I don’t want to sound ungrateful. But my hubby’s schedule is so crazy. He leaves our house around 8 am and won’t come home until 1, 2, sometimes 3 am. He works EVERY SINGLE DAY. Saturday and Sundays too. Which means it’s just mommy mommy mommy. We have three kids — a five year old, two-year-old, and 4 months old. I’m so drained by the end of the day. He’s his own boss, which means he goes in and gets out whenever he wants. I mean, I understand he’s the only one providing for us, and I can’t thank him enough for allowing me to stay home and take care of our babies. But on the other hand, I NEED a break. From the time our kids wake up till the moment they fall asleep, it’s just me. You mommies know how it is with all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, diaper changes, showers, feedings, homework time. I don’t have time to breathe. I’ve talked to him about how I feel, and he just says I need to understand how stressed he is with all the payments he needs to make… I honestly don’t know what to do or how to feel. My five-year-old is always asking, “why isn’t daddy home from work yet? I miss daddy. Am I going to see him before bedtime?” Am I selfish for feeling like this? I feel bad he has to work so much. He doesn’t have time to rest, either. But I want him to understand it’s not easy staying home either.


When will he make time for his family?


Are you sure he’s actually working.


Leave them. For 17 years I was in a relationship with that and I ended up with nothing after he had a midlife crisis. If men don’t see it then never going to get it and you just need to say bye-bye.


Go visit… help him at work. Hire a sitter for a break from time to time

He alone wrking to pay bills plus take care of everyone including himself…and u wanna complain about beimg a mommy right thru smh…if u feel that way an so needed a break why make more children…u sound selfish am sure u know this is how his schedule was but makin it an issue now.


Make arrangement with another mother to trade off one day a week for a few hours.


I don’t think he works all those hours. You need to confirm that he does. I was also a stay at home mom and my husband always helped me even when he worked long hours. We were a team. And he enjoyed being a father, it wasn’t a job for him

What do you mean he’s his own boss, do you guys own the company? Yes sorry gotta ask are you sure he’s working all those hours, and I’m sorry again but if he’s working all those hours for sure then yes a bit selfish, on both of your part. Either he drops some hours and you go to work too, or he drops some hours and you give up some luxuries. You can not complain if he’s doing nothing but right by his family, except to pitch in. But be absolutely sure he’s doing the right thing.


If hes the boss of his own business then he needs to give 1 day a week to the family, atleast 1 date night a month with you! Dont have anymore children, instead get a sitter for your self to have “me time” once a week! That’s my advice

Hun ,he isnt working all those hours.


I don’t think it’s selfish. Your complaint is reasonable. I understand. My man works long hours too. Parenting is a two-person job. When one person is doing most of the parenting it’s definitely overwhelming. I would double check that he is working all those hours and then let him know that your job is also hard and you need a day off too.

He sure made time to help you make those babies, so he should make time to help you raise them.If you were to add up everything you do for your family it would be allot, so give yourself some credit.

He’s definitely NOT working that whole time…


If he makes his own hours he needs to find the time for family 1 and 2 a day to give you a break or hes gonna wake up one day and his children will be grown and you all will resent him and he workes his life away for what?


Well there’s no way he’s working that many hour’s so he’s going somewhere else and doing something


He is definitely not working all those hours. Follow him one day or 2 and you will see


He’s not working that long. Better track him down or go look for him at 4:00-5:00
Tell him your bringing dinner every night, but I bet he starts coming home then


Okay first might I ask what does he do ? You made the statement hes his own boss, and sometimes dosent come home until 3am? Are you sure he’s ACTUALLY working? I dont know of ANY plumbers, bricklayers, electricians, roofers, BUSINESS OWNERS that are at the office until 1am UNLESS they own a bar or restaurant. You stated the oldest is 5, are they in a head start, Pre K ? The 2 little ones I would look into a mother’s day out program 1 to 2 days a week usually for 2 to 3 hrs. I would most definitely consider birth control, Honey if you’re this drained with 3 probly not a good idea to have anymore for a while.


He leaves at 8 am and dont come home until 1,2 or 3am? He has another woman.