My husband works out of town and I am overwhelmed: Advice?

Can someone help me sort out my feelings I am 30yr old newly married my husband is 40 if that makes a difference last year he took a job working out of state six days a week 4hrs from home he comes home late Sat night and leaves at 2 AM on Mondays (lives in another state Mon-Fri) anyhow I’ll get to the point my stepdaughter is 20 just had a baby, and this makes the 2nd time now he’s volunteered me to babysit during the weekend without talking to me first am I wrong to be hesitant about it? The baby is only a month old, and he’s giving me a guilt trip because I said no. I have a nine-year-old who I have full time he’s playing two different sports right now will be 3 when baseball starts I also work 40-50hrs a week and do mainly all the parenting by myself and keeping up with housework not to mention when he comes home I do all the “wifely duties” as in cooking grocery shopping doing his laundry packing his bags lunches etc. also in between all this other stuff we are struggling to spend time together as a couple I’m honestly just overwhelmed and depressed I have asked him multiple times if he wants me to quit my job so I can be a fulltime homemaker he says no but I’m really just at my boiling point…

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He volunteered you to watch someome else’s kid? Absolutely not, end of story .

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Technically her grandchild.

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You need to be 100% candid with him and lay it out on the table. Let him know your feelings and wishes. I have a feeling working away from home and this added stress will kill the marriage very soon. (What’s left)

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It’s not your responsibility to watch his grandkid. You have your own life and child. Do not quit your job either. I think it would be wise for your husband to find another job closer to home soon.

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Can you quit your job and move for his job is? And then get a job out there? I can see your dilemma. I too would be upset and depressed.

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Sounds like his job is the problem 🤷

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Is moving an option? Maybe move to where he works so it lightens the load of things, but yeah I’d say no if you need a break. We are allowed to have breaks as humans! We need it too!

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If he volunteered to watch his grandchild let him do all the babysitting on his own see if he continues to volunteer

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You have to do whats best for you. You are allowed to say no when he’s assuming you would… if he actually asks that’s one thing. Just because your married to him doesn’t give him the right to assume. He should be helping you with the tasks at home. He should be the one looking after his grandchild. You already have a full plate. Listen to your gut! Your being guided by your angels. If it doesn’t feel right stick to it no matter what anyone says

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You need to speak up. No baby sitting the weekends are YOUR time you work full time and those are your days off. If you WANT to thats fine but its YOUR choice If HE wants to baby sit great but maybe you need to tell the step daughter she needs to clear it with you because you may have plans or simply are to tired.

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Do NOT feel guilty. Her kid, her responsibility. What is the reason daycare is needed? Ill help out for school & work as a gma, but no way am I changing my plans or babysitting for you to play.

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That was rude of him to say you’ll do it. If you didn’t work it’d be a different story but he should definitely talk to you first before saying you’ll babysit. That’s crazy

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I’m confused on how you quitting your job will make anything better when he isn’t home 6 days a week anyways… Unless you’re meaning to do it so you can move to where he works then no it makes absolutely no sense. As for the volunteering you to watch your now grandchild, I’d simply tell him no that unless you say otherwise or volunteer yourself then you won’t be babysitting. Also, your child is 9 years old & unless homeschooled you don’t have that child 24/7 or full-time lol

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You’re not obligated to watch anyone’s children, even grand children or step grandren. Your only obligation is to children you have have birthed or adopted or have legal custody of. Period.

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HER KID…HER Responsiblity plain and simple!

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You are not obligated to watch any children that are not your own. Period. Straight up tell him no

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NO !
Not your responsibility !
If she needs a sitter she needs to ask the grandparents. Your HIS wife and a mother to your own and have a full plate as it is .
Did you get to ditch YOUR child every weekend? If not then why should she get that luxury on your time

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He shouldn’t be volunteering you for anything without talking to you

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Move where his job is and find a new job there…

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