"My husband takes on so many side jobs and projects to help others that he is never home. He’s gone from 8 am- 9:30 pm almost every night.
I’ve asked him many times not to keep himself as busy as he has been, but he doesn’t listen. He just calls me selfish and says he doesn’t have time to listen to me. Then cuts me off.
Says he’s doing it regardless of how I feel. Never listening to my feelings￼. Is all this money he’s making really worth the big old ax he is putting on our marriage? Why are these jobs so much more important to him than us? Does he maybe not love me?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“First, it sounds like he has NO respect for you. Second, I would be questioning if he was really working the whole time BECAUSE of that disrespect. Third, if he won’t listen to you and at least hear you out, maybe it is time to move on. Sorry, but in a healthy marriage, being that heavily disrespected and silenced isn’t healthy. I hope you and your husband work things out, but if you can’t, take care of yourself and your children.”
“I know EXACTLY how you feel. My husband is a workaholic. My husband would be gone for months at a time making a name for himself in his career. I was ALWAYS alone. No friends or family close. I was a single mom my husband just sent money. For the longest time, i resented him and was mad thought about divorce. For years I felt that way. Then one day I sat down and had a serious talk with MYSELF. Did I love him? Yes. Does he support me and my kids? Yes. Do I want to work? No. You have to decide if you can live this way forever because chances are things won’t change. I started living my own life basically, going on vacations, hanging with friends, visiting family as often as I could volunteering places. I have my own routine my own life and enjoy the time we spend when we have it. When my kids got older I worked when I wanted so I had an adult life. I always felt guilty about going out like I shouldn’t because I didn’t want my kids to be with a sitter or I shouldn’t without him. FUC* THAT NOISE!! Live your life like he’s living his. Pm me if you ever need anyone to talk to. My door is always open to ANYONE!! Good Luck!”
“And honey, taking care of kids while someone else provides for them is far from single parenthood. Trust me.”
“Sometimes you have to count your blessings. You will either build with a busy man or babysit a broke man.”
“Take a real good look! I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I recognized this kind of story. There could be someone else he paying special attention to.”
" He could be working because y’all need it. He could be taking on the extra work because he’s stressed about having a new child. He could be doing it because he’s depressed and that is his safe space instead of being home. Or he actually could just be selfish and not want to be around y’all."
“Working I see no issue with but the name-calling and not willing to compromise I see a huge issue with. As a married couple, you should be able to speak about things, compromise on things, and communicate without disregarding one’s feelings and emotions. Explain all you ask for is time so plan 2 days a month for date night or even an afternoon lunch. If he can’t give you that then hell I would replace and find someone who can.”
“While it is nice he works hard to provide he also needs to remember he has a family that needs him as more than a paycheck. Set up a special dinner once a week with a show you both like. He still needs to make time for you and to not be rude when you ask for his emotional support.”
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