My husbands ex wants to spend the night when she comes to visit: Advice?

Hi! I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost six months. He just started co-parenting with his ex after a rough few years of court battles and her not letting him see his child. Now he is able to see his child, and she has since apologized to him about her actions in the past, which I am extremely happy about. They live a few hours apart, and I recently rode with him to pick his son up and met his ex. Now a week later she wants to move to the city that we live in which I’m all for, but the thing is she asked if she and her son could spend the night with my boyfriend while she came for a visit. He told her no, but this is the third time she has asked to have a sleepover since we’ve been dating, and he said no each time. This last time I got really mad because I feel like this issue keeps coming up, and they need to have a serious discussion about boundaries. Is it acceptable to have sleepovers with your ex and your child when your ex is dating someone? I understand co-parenting but feel like that is inappropriate and disrespectful. Although I would love for us all to spend time together


I mean if you were there I could see it but it sounds like you don’t love together and it would be just them which would be a no from me.

That’s so weird. Lol. Hard no.

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If you are uncomfortable with it then no. Sounds like he is uncomfortable with it too which is why he has told her no. Sounds like she needs to be reminded about boundaries

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I wouldn’t let my X stay at my house for any reason. But thats me. Back him up she can stay with a friend or get a cheep hotel or drive home.

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Not appropriate at all. Maybe in her mind she wants to give it another go. I don’t trust her.


My ex husband use to stay at my house because it was a 4 hour drive. We were great friends after we divorced. Him and his new wife stay with us as we do them. It our normal. All of our kids love it


Ya no… tell her to get a hotel for herself and the child can stay with dad:

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If all of yall were there that’s different, but if you aren’t there, that’s a definite no! I would be upset too, the child should be with his dad and see you getting along with his mother but spending the night is stretching it a bit. Makes me wonder what she has planned? Ex for a reason I’m just saying?


Absolutely not , tell her to book an hotel


Are you staying there that night too? How does she treat you? What’s the relationship like. If you aren’t there I’d say no but if it’s a whole family thing I’d talk about it and boundaries. Pm if you’d like to chat I know both sides of this discussion

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That’s suspicious and weird to me, sorry but just keeping it real!

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My boyfriend and I of a year live together. His ex has gotten into some interesting situations with her and her current boyfriend. I have offered to go pick her up from these incidents. I would absolutely let her stay at my house if needed for her safety or the safety of their kids…but to just hang out because of visiting and spend the night…nope.


Nope. If a woman is truly over her ex she isn’t going to want to stay the night. Thats just weird. Tell her to get a room.


If y’all can be civil enough for a night’s sleep over, with her spending the night sleeping with the child, that kind of mature relationship between y’all will speak volumes to that child… In the long run, it’s the child who will benefit from health relationships between all parents.


He needs to set boundaries, which it sounds like he’s trying but he needs to flat out say no.

Or be supportive. Showing his child that the adults and gay along wouldn’t be a bag thing.

Sounds to me like she just doesn’t want the child to be there without her. Good for dad for saying no… keep saying no. The court would say no also


If you’re there then I don’t see any issue, if you’re not there then yes that’s inappropriate.

My ex husband has stayed at my house many times over the years, my home will always be opened to him if he needs a place to crash for whatever reason. I’ve just asked him to wait until my husband is home to come over.

Maybe she doesn’t have the money for a hotel? Who knows the reason but as long as you’re there & are comfortable with it, I don’t see the big deal.


My partners ex became one of my really good friends over time… Odd situation most don’t understand but for us it worked. Perhaps if you are there too, it will ease some anxiety. Having a spare room or separate guest space is helpful aswell but I get not everyone has that option


No as a new step mom an having 2 baby mama ex’s and even b4 me an him got married cause we kinda didnt follow protocol (dated for about 2 3 months got engaged then pregnant then married this past feb an in a few days we will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary as we are preparing for my 1st his 4th) but if his ex asked to stay with the kid at his home I would have to be saying no an if he does agree I would make the condition of u have to be there not cause u dont trust him but cause you dont know or trust her