Anonymous, please!! I just want honest feedback because I’m made out to be selfish from my in-laws. Long story short. My husband and I have one child 19; we also have a child who is 4. While our daughter is in college in another state, it’s just the three of us. My youngest was adopted at birth because we were not able to conceive, so he was a huge blessing after many failed fertility attempts. My husband’s mother is a very selfish lady, disguised in sheep’s clothing. She had other children but is obsessed with my husband. She puts our children last all the time if they’ve even thought about it at all. She has used my husband financially all of our marriage. She became ill around two years ago. My husband stays with her more than myself and my children. I want him to help his mother but not as much time as he’s spending away from our youngest. He’s missed so many important things because of his demanding mother. He even missed Christmas Eve and Christmas away from my children. She doesn’t even live an hour away. It’s like she gets a thrill of seeing how much he’ll pick herself over my kids and myself. I’ve come to the point that I’ve been patient and put last to the point that I’m filing for divorce. I don’t care how he treats me anymore; there are no more tears. But my children deserve better. Please give me advice.
If he wanted to be there he’d make the time…he’s physically and emotionally gone. You can move on and still have a great life.
His mom is sick? What if it were your mom? Maybe you can get involved in her care. Help him, spend holidays there instead. You said she only lives an hour away. Who’s being selfish here?
divorce isnt going to make him treat the children any better.
You now have a son, remind yourself that on your last years in life would you not want your children to see you through to the end? I mean of course your husband should be making sacrifices on both parts to spend time with his mother and his family. If she’s really ill and may not have much time left maybe pick up dinner and head over with the kids. Maybe put in the extra effort whether you like her or not if you love your husband maybe put him first in his time of need loosing a parent is extremely difficult. I think he may just want his mom to know she’s not alone I know I’d want the same treatment if it were my son.
Don’t worry she won’t live forever…
A judge will tell him that his mother is not his priority. His kids r. Tell him about how u feel. Put mom in a home she’s a bitchhh
You can’t make someone care. You can’t force someone to be there for their children. If you’ve expressed all of this to him and he still doesn’t care, then you need to move on. As far as your kids… be honest with the older one without talking shit because that will only push her away. And with the youngest just pay close attention and when the time comes to talk about it you do the same. But it’s important you don’t shame the other parent. As hard as it may be sometimes!
Schedule a time for a weekly visit for the three of you to visit mom. Your husband should have NO alone time with her. That will cure her!
You’ve already made your decision.
Are you just looking for validation?
My daughters mother was like that… unfortunately it didnt stop till she passed away… guilt is a horrible chain
Mommies boy. Good luck on that. You will not win him over so live with it. If your husband ALLOWS her in the marriage bed you are just his maid he can have sex with…dont take it personal!!!
How exactly is she selfish?
You’re children deserve better. File. Things won’t change till she’s dead sadly.
Offer to move mother in law in.
It’s your husbands choice to be over there. She’s not forcing him to do anything. Sounds like he doesn’t want to be at home. Maybe the MIL isn’t the issue. Maybe there’s other things you need to look at in your marriage. Sounds like he’s using his mom as an escape.
Sounds like he’s married to his mom
Is there just one writer that makes up these scenarios??? They are childish and some sound silly. Sounds like juveniles posting these posts.
Do what you feel you deserve honestly and safe
IDK just rotten to be selfish