My in-laws constantly start drama and I do know what to do: Advice?

I’m having trouble making a decision and I could use some solid advice. I absolutely cannot stand drama. I try my best to avoid it and people who create it, at all cost. I am the woman who sits at home with her kids and doesn’t bother a soul. However, sometimes it’s unavoidable. My in laws are extremely petty, self centered, and disrespectful. There are only a select few that my husband and I have anything to do with, for very good reason. If I told you everything, we’d be here till Christmas next year, quite literally. Here’s my issue! We don’t have anything to do with my SIL, MIL, and FIL. However, we join his Grandma for the holidays every year. She is my rock! They usually don’t show up for their own family dinner because we are there. Like I said, extremely petty. Every time something big happens, they show their faces just to stir some trouble and be the center of everything. This year, we have a new baby! He’s 3 months old and they have yet to meet him. They have destroyed my girls time after time and I’d rather they stay as far away from my son as humanly possible. Thing is, Thanksgiving this year is going to be the perfect opportunity for them to show up because they’ll want to meet him. Being civil with these people is not an option. They are instigators, and will turn anything into a fight. I just ignore them anymore, which they also make a huge deal out of. When they do show up, we end up having to leave because they start trouble every single time. Grandma is sick! She’s old, weary, and going downhill fast, especially these last few years. I don’t want to go to dinner this year, but because I know it very well may be our last thanksgiving dinner with her, I am completely at odds with how to handle this. I’ve thought about leaving my son with my sister, as we do dinner with her after we leave his families house, but just the thought makes me feel like a terrible mother. To fully understand the situation, you’d honestly have to live it. I don’t play petty games where my kids are concerned, I will shut that crap down in an instant. These people are always using my kids to hurt me and at one point even threatened with CPS for literally no reason other than trying to hurt me. Which is why we don’t associate with them anymore to begin with. I would really like some advice on how to come to a good decision that doesn’t create chaos in front of Grandma. This woman means the world to me and she’s technically not even my family except by marriage. I will not let them disrespect her home by using my child to start more trouble.

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Host the dinner at your house and invite Grandma.

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Ask to have dinner with Grandma a different night?

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So the in-laws don’t come to your house because they are not invited. So go get Grandma and let her stay the night or a couple of days ditch the family thing with his family this year and you and Grandma fix dinner together at your house. This way you will be putting yourself and Grandma first as well as your children. If your husband still feels the need to go to his family dinner let him have yours earlier or later. Good bless.

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Have dinner at your house and get the grandma there for it to. Screw all them dramatic people

Im sure your grandma does not like the drama herself and doesnt need it with health issues.
I would invite the grandma to your home and enjoy her and your family.

Then have it earlier in the day?

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I think this may be the one that you have to bite a huge bullet hun. You just need to remember that its all for grandma looking if they start something just look at her and remember why you are there for her. I think sending your son with your sister would be a good choice since he’s young and you will see him later that day as you said, and let your spouse know you need extra support that day

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Plan it the day before that way they won’t know… then have ur hubby go to gma house on the actual day to drop off a meal just in case they do show up u n the kids won’t be there

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Tell them the wrong time and be gone by the time they decide to show up.

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I would pick up your grandma and head over to your sister’s house.
Have your grandma tell them she will be leaving at a certain time( I would tell them about one or two hours before real time) . I would take all your children to your sister’s house and just you and your husband go pick her up.

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Just get with grandma a diffrent time

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Personally I would still have dinner with grandma. Close the blinds, lock the doors, and ignore anyone that’s at the door that’s not welcome

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Have Gramma to your house for dinner

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I recently just cut contact with my in laws as well for them being such drama starters. It was constant and all they would talk about, whether it be with the family or just like their own personal lives they were always talking about drama it got annoying. My mil has seen my children twice while my husbands sister has seen them once and the other not at all but she has a sick child of her own. If they want to grow up and be civil for the sake of having a relationship with your children they will you can’t force it. Personally I wouldn’t allow for them to be around they sound extremely toxic and god forbid that rubs off on your children.

Host it at your house, or go the day before.

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Set up a day with her before Thanksgiving and spend Thanksgiving with your husband and kids solely.

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Take the grandma with you to your sisters house. The other in laws aren’t welcome, and can be arrested for trespassing if they try anything.

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Cook dinner at your house and go pick up Grandma!

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If all else fails beat the crap out of them, and move on

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