My in laws constantly talk badly about me and my husband does nothing about it: Advice?

I don’t know what to do about my in-laws. My husband’s parents are very mean to me and criticize me for everything. They just told my husband how lazy I am because when they visited, I sat on the couch a lot, but I just gave birth to my second son two weeks prior? And they said they had come to help. They called me horrible names and everything else under the sun. His mother said I need to make a will because if I didn’t, she would fight my parents for the kids because she can’t stand my family. My husband says he can’t control them but says I’m not allowed to even think anything negative of them, let alone say it, and as long as I’m negative, he doesn’t see our marriage working. What should I do? Is my marriage even worth saving? He says I’m letting his parents in our marriage too much, but i don’t know how to stop. They are so mean.

1 Like

Fuck all of that. He needs to tell them to shut their fucking mouth.

1 Like

Take the high road and ignore it. Who cares what they think. Stay strong and try not to put your husband in the middle. It’s a relationship killer!

3 Likes

This is so sad. And very toxic. Sorry you are dealing with this.

1 Like

Honestly it seems like he has pretty solidly picked a side here. If he can’t even defend the mother of his two week old baby, I don’t see the behavior changing at all for the better.

1 Like

Give your husband an ultimatum either control his family. If he can’t control then stop then from coming over. If your husband won’t take up for you them tell him to move out.

7 Likes

In laws should not be involved in your marriage. If you husband won’t stand up to his parents for the way they treat you he is no better then them. It will not get any better. Your kids do not need to be around so much negativity.

11 Likes

He’s letting his parents into your marriage to much. If they come over and are disrespectful of you he should put a stop to it. He should tell them they’re not welcome if they speak to you in such a way. Your feelings are 100% valid. If he can’t stand up to his parents for you after joining his life with yours this will only get worse and drive you crazy. Getting away from extremely toxic people are always in your best interest and you should make a will I wouldn’t want my children raised by people who dislike me. Get out and spare yourself pain if you confront him and he’s not or refuses to be a team with you.

1 Like

They shouldn’t even be welcome in your home if they disrespect you like that! And your husband should be taking up for you! I would leave him honestly. You should never be made to feel like that in your own home and even worse by your husband too. He should always have your back no matter what. His parents need to back off. Stand your ground. If he doesn’t see anything wrong with it than leave. You deserve better. That’s not how marriage is supposed to be. And your children will learn what they see

4 Likes

I would leave. Hes a pig.

6 Likes

Tell him to grow a pair and defend you x

5 Likes

That means he’s probably the one giving them the information to shit talk.

I wouldn’t put up with it. Tell him if he’s not going to say anything to them, then you will. Take up for yourself! And if it damages your marriage then so what. It’s not healthy. Even though, I have a good relationship with my in-laws, I have been verbally attacked before, not by them but by other people & my husband never said anything, so I did. I have to take up for myself & fight my own battles because I don’t need my husband to fight them for me. Start defending yourself is what you should do. If your husband doesn’t stand behind you then he’s not worth having.

3 Likes

It sounds like your in-laws are very toxic and your husband is just as toxic for siding with them and holding a double standard. He allows them to be horrible to you, but demands that you not even think negatively about them? That’s unacceptable. I would be prepared to leave this “man” and not have that be the example being set for your child. It’s not good to have a child grow up seeing that it’s okay to treat someone so negatively and demand their silence. It’s also not good for a child to grow up seeing the other parent remain voiceless and degraded. In my opinion, you should demand that he change his ways immediately, or move on with your life separate from him.

5 Likes

If that’s how your husband is, I’d divorce him. I’d never be with someone who doesn’t defend me

3 Likes

Hell to the no damn way!

I’ve been married 26 years now. It is not normal to have a spouse that doesn’t protect the other whether it’s emotionally, physically or verbally. I would seek counseling for myself and see why I am allowing my spouse and his family treat me poorly. Once you have that understanding then you will have the groundwork to start counseling as a couple. Best wishes to you and your family.

1 Like

Fuck him and his parents. You’re his wife and should be first priority and if someone is mean and/or disrespectful to you he should be the first one to say something especially if its his family. Sounds like he has no respect for you too, won’t tell his parents to back off, but expects you to keep your mouth shut, hell no!! If this is the case then no he or your marriage is not worth it. I’d never allow anyone from my family to disrespect my SO for no reason and I’d be done if he ever allowed it. Forget what he says an stand up for yourself. It’s better then being his and his family’s doormat.

If you can deal with that for the rest of your life stay if not move on now before your baby get used to you guys being together. If he loves you enough he would never allow them to disrespect you especially in your own home. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment from nobody. You set the example for your baby

6 Likes

First of all when it comes to taking kids away from another guardian they have to prove that guardian is an unfit guardian and it is very hard to do that. Second of all good luck my state which is Florida they don’t have grandparent laws or anything like that. Your kids go to whoever is available if something happens to you and you don’t have a written wheel or anyting or they just go to DCF!!! second of all I wouldn’t put up with it I would tell the in-laws to hit the road and if the husband didn’t like it I would tell the husband is in road. my husband has a really bad family and I have put up with so much over the years when hurricane Michael hit and I got kicked out by two different sister-in-laws I’ve had enough. His family can just stay away from me and my kids and I don’t care what my husband thinks about it like I said there’s the door he can leave if he wants to lol besides if your husband can’t stand up for you to his own parents then there’s something sad about that now.