Okay, ladies. I was mad at first, and now I’m just sad. My mother in law/father in law have been wanting my husband and me to have a baby for a long time now. We want babies too, of course, but it just hasn’t happened. I’ve had two miscarriages as well as PCOS, so it’s a bit tough physically, and emotionally I’m struggling. Long story short, I was sitting with my husband’s family, and his mom said out loud, “why have you had babies yet? I had two kids by your age,” and now I’m feeling horrible like I’m too late. Another thing she said that bothered me was that she hopes I have babies that look like my husband. My SOs grandma, who loves me, said, “what, will you be mad if the baby looks more like her?” And everyone went quiet. I don’t know if I can live like this. I don’t even know how to respond. I’ve just been quiet ever since.
Two words…fuck them
Don’t see the in laws anymore. Sometimes it’s simply not worth your time.
Not that it’s any of their business but do they know you are struggling with infertility? A lot of people don’t think about it, so maybe your husband could mention to them off to the side that with the circumstances to stop mentioning it.
Screw them. Don’t feel the need to explain yourself to them either. I would stop hanging out with them all together and see how it makes them feel. Or call them out like his awesome grandma did. Take shit from no one, not even family. You’re amazing and don’t let them make you feel bad for not having kids yet. They can get over themselves.
As your mother in law, she shouldn’t make comments like that. And your husband should say something to her about it. That’s hurtful.
I have no words for how they are acting, and cannot imagine how this makes you feel as loosing babies they are being very rude if you ask me and should not be even going there I would take time out from them and your hubby should be having word’s with them x
I have PCOS and went thru the same thing…just not having to deal with asshole family members…and I didn’t get pregnant until I was 34 and have a crazy beautiful 5 year old now… it’ll happen just be patient and ignore the rude comments
Tell your SO. Explain how it makes you feel to him whenever they are saying that stuff. Let him handle it at first if they continue to do it. Straight up tell them, “I understand that you did but you’re not me. I wish you would quit saying on what we should do and just wait for the news when we decide to have any and support whatever we are doing now.”
I feel you. I did come into the marriage with a 2 year old daughter. They love her. Its been 13 years…their oldest son will never have kids. I am sterile ( surgical) 4 miscarriages 2 tubal. We have 3 kids now ( 2 boys from my brother ) that they love as well…but guilt eats me
does she know your medical history?
not saying her comments are excusable, but sometimes we “stick our foot in our mouth” without realizing it… I would reccomend sitting down with her and explaining how and why it was hurtful to you and your husband that she said that
We’ve been trying for have baby number 2 for almost 2 years. So I get how defeated you’re feeling. I always feel like the biggest piece of shit when people tell me I need another kid and when we’re gonna get pregnant again and we need to hurry up. You’ve just got to ignore it the best you can. It’s hard, but you can’t let all of their negativity affect you so much.
Does she know about the struggles you’ve been having?
Imo I think that’s when your SO should of stepped in and said something
Omg I am so sorry this had happened to you. I would tell them that 1 its none of their business why you dont have any babies and 2 to fuck off. I would have went off on her for those kinds of comments. I just experience my first miscarriage in December 2019 and I couldnt imagine hearing anyone say that to me. I wouldnt be spending anymore time around her.
Sweety theres always adoption. Im a huge prolife advocate n help mothers who consider abortion find happy n healthy adoptive homes for those babies. If u see this comment, n adoption is something youd consider, feel free to message me! I can help! also ive suffered 3 losses before i had my daughter. So i understand that pain. Its heartbreaking . Im so sorry. As for ur inlaws. Ignore them and talk to ur SO about how u feel. U dont deserve to be disrespected in anyway
Do they know about your struggles? Do they know about your loss? If not tell them. If she doesn’t know then she can’t be expected to be empathetic or sympathetic to you or your husband. I undunderstand how you feel I’ve had 2 miscarriages. Its complete devastating. For the longest time if I heard a baby cry in the grocery store or where ever I would completely fall apart. People kept telling us to just try again. Not knowing how terrifying it is to try again. Maybe take her out to coffee and just have a real conversation with her. Tell her how you feel and how her comments make you feel. Idk I just feel like too many people are rushing to cut her off.
If your husband didn’t stand up and tell his mother to knock her crap off, he’s trash. I’m just saying. I am so sorry you’re having a hard time getting pregnant but make sure you are trying with someone that cares about you and your wellbeing ENTIRELY.
I’ve had a miscarriage. And also pcos before my soon was born my ob put me on the pill for a month then I had a normal period and we tried and got pregnant within 3 weeks of my period. I have3kids total but wasn’t diagnosed with pcos until my fiance and I tried for over a year. I am 29yrs old. It is never to late to try anything. Also I am on truvision and I know a lot of women take it to help get pregnant also follow a group they will give you the info you need. Good luck! And I pray you get the blessing of being a mother
Communicate with your husband explain to him how that made you feel, give him the opportunity to be there for you. Ask him to talk to his mom and explain to her the troubles your both having and how she needs to be more sensitive toward the topic and more supportive for you both while yall are going thru something so hard for yall. If your husband cant do that than he is not supporting you and if your mother in law can not be more kind stop going a round her give them all one chance if they cant even began to be more kind than there not worth your time at all.