My in laws try to over parent my husband and I: Advice?

I need advice on in-laws. My in-laws are amazing people, but when it comes to their grandson, they will do whatever he wants regardless of what my husband and I think of it. My father-in-law will say out loud as he does something. “I know mom said no, but I don’t care.” It’s always said as a joke, but my son is 18 months old, and I don’t want that to become the standard. Overall it’s not a big issue, but right now, my son is going through a phase where he is throwing food at meals, throwing fits because he thinks it’ll get him what he wants, etc. and my father-in-law just feeds into it. If my son throws something on the floor and my husband and I are telling him no, my father-in-law is laughing and throwing stuff too. I’m at a loss. I know he doesn’t mean harm by it, but it’s not helping, and my son thinks it’s funny. We see them minimum every Saturday for the afternoon/evening, and the behavior is something my son is bringing home with him.

9 Likes

Correct it now because they will never care about what y’all have to say and will think your opinion is irrelevant because they can do what they want regardless

4 Likes

You have to set boundaries if they can’t accept that maybe a break from the in laws is what is needed until the behavior can get corrected.

2 Likes

No more visits unless they take a back seat. They need to allow you two to parent. I’ve been shit talked by my inlaws about my decisions with our daughter, until I spoke tf up and told them I don’t care about their shitty opinions. If they can’t respect me as a mother, then they don’t need to come around.

Talk to them about it. If they still won’t listen stop going over there.

4 Likes

Set boundaries with the in-laws explain to them it’s fine to be grandparents and indulge once and awhile but teaching your child that behavior is not ok and ask them to stop if they don’t take you seriously skip the visit untill they are ready to be adults

2 Likes

Have your husband talk to them. If they can’t follow your rules then I would limit contact for now. It will only get worse.

2 Likes

It sounds like an adult conversation is in order. I think I ask them how they would have felt if someone had over-reached and taught their children bad behavior when they were toddlers and babies.

1 Like

I would tell them if you can’t respect me and my husband then stay away from us until you learn how to respect us

My parents let my two year old get away with things I wouldn’t. Grandparents will be grandparents… Just make sure they aren’t being disrespectful to you. Besides, the kid is only 18months old. Can’t be too tough on the little guy. It’s not like he’s 3 years old

2 Likes

That’s grandpas job, to spoil the shit out of him. Be thankful.

A conversation is definitely needed but also understand grandparents do this, and if it gets too far and not addressed, they will never change

You need set rules or they cannot see him that is total lack respect

When grampa says that mommy should say " no , Grampa is wrong . Mommy is the boss and mommy says no " . If the subtle hint doesn’t work set him straight!

1 Like

If your father in law cant be an adult and not show your son it’s funny.I wouldnt bring him there every saturday

1 Like

Put your foot down now or you child will act out later im raising my grandson everytime i scold him my husband tease him just playing but-now that he wants him to listen to him he ignores him doesnt listen to him at all

This was posted awhile ago already.

1 Like

Correct it. Say something. Undermining you INFRONT of the child and throwing it in your face is wrong. Your child will.learn that its acceptable behaviour and he doesnt need to listen to you. Talk to them, set boundries, and if they dont change…stop visits for a little while. If they ask WHY you stopped visiting…tell them exactly why.

No means no and your child (yes at 18 months) needs to know that they need to listen to YOU! Say something like grandpa are you trying to get (child’s name) in trouble!!!

You gotta stop that real quick. Tell them they had better stop or they won’t be around bc as he gets older, it will be a big deal. They’re undermining your parenting and when your son realizes he can run to his grandparents to get what he wants, it’s going to be trouble.