My in laws want us to come over every weekend and don't understand we need space: Thoughts?

My in-laws are asking us to come over for dinner every weekend. It gets to be so much. My husband and I already work opposite schedules since he has retail hours and I have a standard 9-5 job. We already have a shortage of time together since he has to do some nights and weekends. My MIL wants us to let our son have a sleepover at least once a month. She has no visitation rights, and it’s not like I’m in a position where I want time away from my child. I enjoy spending time with the 3 of us, and that is what is getting me through my dad’s health issues and this pandemic. We can’t see my family because my dad has critical health issues and can’t get covid or any other illness since it would be detrimental. They don’t seem to understand that we need space, and they are always calling and inviting us over. It gets stressful because you don’t want to disappoint them, but it’s so much. Help.

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Do you have your husband’s support? Has he talked to his family?

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There’s nothing wrong with saying thanks so much but we are exhausted and need time to relax and spend time alone, thanks so much for the invite and we’ll get together soon. Be polite and take a weekend to see them, compromise as they are his parents and your child’s grandparents.

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Id say we need a few weeks to recuperate but we will make plans soon. Maybe do Easter together

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I was with you until the last part where you said “you can’t see your family”.

Are you sure there isn’t a little bit of jealousy that he can see his family and you can’t see yours?

Also, “no visitation right”. What does that even mean? It’s grandma. And she’s willing to take your son overnight once a month so you can spend time with your husband?

I mean, unless she’s a total monster.

Set a schedule your comfortable with an keep it, but it sounds like she just wants to see you guys?

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Maybe your MIL thinks she’s offering you and your husband some alone time/a break with a once a month sleepover? It’s okay to set your own parameters for dinners(like maybe twice a month?). I understand it’s frustrating but it sounds like she loves the 3 of you a lot and wants to spend time and help out. Try talking to her about it. Let her know you love the idea of it, but need some alone family time, too.

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She does it because she loves all of you and is lonely, be thankful !!!

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You cant make everyone happy, so don’t try to. Every weekend is a lot and no one has a right to demand time or overnights to your kid. No., is a complete sentence.

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As someone who was never close with my grandparents, I’ve made it a point to be active in my grand son’s life. I keep him overnight a couple times a month.

Maybe set up like every other Saturday night your son goes over to your MIL house for the night. Dinner twice a month shouldn’t be too much or at least once a month.

If you have it planned out then she will stop asking all the time.

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Once a month to take ur son isn’t much that’s brilliant they want to have bonding time with there grandchild I loved staying with my gran when I was younger , as for having dinner every week it’s only 1 day I think it’s good there trying to see there son if u don’t want to go let ur husband and son go it’s his family after all , us that once a month to spend time with your husband while the wee one goes to the grandparents

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Can I let you in on a secret? Most of my childhood memories are of spending the night with my grandparents. And I didn’t lose much time with my family because their house was practically a second home to all of us. It has absolutely nothing to do with wanting a break from your child. Let them be grandparents. Mine died just months after my first baby was born and it hurts knowing that my kids will never get to be a part of that.

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Once a month to stay at grandparents doesn’t seem to much. I loved those sleepovers growing up and still have a wonderful & close bond with my grandparents. Use that as date night with your husband. Plan once a month to have dinner with them. Prior covid our family tried to have once a month dinner at my grandparents. He turned 90 in Jan & my grandmother will be 87 on the 16th. We have been blessed to have ours this long.
:heart:Blessed with 5 generations.

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The husband needs to handle it.

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Have your husband talk to them if he has an issue with it as well. Speaking from experience, it’s better it comes from him and not you.

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Every weekend is a LOT for someone who is struggling with barely finding family time between the three of you. She may just love you guys, want to see you, and that’s wonderful! However, boundaries are needed. You need to focus on you and your family first. You can’t exhaust yourself letting your kid stay with other family members, while you, the PARENTS, are left wondering how everyone else but you guys get time alone with your family. Your family comes FIRST. Have your husband say…one weekend for dinner/sleepover is the most we can do with our busy schedules.

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Dinner once a month and sleep over on the same weekend. Let them be grandparents , but set boundaries.

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I am all for boundaries… and there is nothing wrong with saying no every now and then especially to the every weekend dinners. but all I can say is you should feel lucky and blessed to have a family that wants to spend time with y’all and take the kiddo ONCE a month (which doesn’t seem like a crazy request). That is your husband’s parents and your child’s grandparents. Unless there is more to the story and they’re awful/toxic etc i do not see a problem. I mean… think about the flipped coin. If it was YOUR family… food for thought.

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When I was a kid some of my best memories were getting to stay at my grandparents. I wish my children where able to have the same experience as I did. Once a week may be a lot for dinners since your schedules are hectic but once or twice a month I can see doing. Trust me when they are no longer around you are going to wish they were.

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Honestly youll miss it one day

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Just say you’re :mask: sick last minute l

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