My kids do not listen to me and I have had it: Advice?

I feel so lost. I had three kids under 3yo; the youngest is 15mo now. I am a SAHM. How do you cope with your kids, not listening to what you tell them? When they flat out ignore you, or say no and do it anyway? I am at my wit’s end here, I try talking to them nicely but end up losing my patience and yell and scream at them because I have told them not to do it like 15 times that day only. Time out sometimes works but with them crying and screaming in protest. I feel awful.


Wait til they are preteens :woman_facepalming:t3: my kid went from demon ADHD odd kid to sweet and loving to :smiling_imp: omg I dont know how I am going to survive him.


Girl they’re toddlers for one, they’re still learning. The only thing that gets my 3 yr old to understand we mean business is my husband flicking him on the butt. I have a stern tone that works on him but not all the time. When you feel like you’re going to scream and yell, count to 10 and take a deep breath, they will only shut down and still not listen.


I do a modified version of time out. For reference I have a 3.5 year old. I have him go to a chair, usually by yelling at him (I use it for major infractions, I also have a 1 year old). After he’s been seated for 20 seconds and calm I ask him what he did that got him in trouble. We talk about his behavior, have him apologize to his brother (hitting him usually got him there in the first place), give brother a kiss, and literally repeat.

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1 request, 1 warning, 1 consequence. I know it seems like they’re too little but they are not! Even the small one will understand when he doesn’t listen this happens. Realistic consequences, “stop throwing the toy or I’m taking it all day” not “stop throwing the toy or I’m going to throw it away” because that never earns the chance to be good with it


I thought I was the only one. Now I know I’m not alone. But if yelling and time out doesnt work the first time. I will spank them and make them sit on the couch. After 5 minutes I calmly explain why what they did was wrong. If that doesnt work I make them pick a toy to throw in the garbage.


Having three kids under the age of three is already tough, but the key is consistency in my opinion. They’re at the stage where a lot of their learning involves pushing limits and they’re learning to comprehend more. I’m not an expert but honestly, posting here, reading articles, being firm yet understanding that little humans are not perfect and neither are you-- you’re headed in the right direction.

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At such young ages you have to use physical prompts to change their behavior. I know you’re exhausted and it’s hard to physically guide them away from doing things you don’t want them to do. If they know you will come after them when they don’t listen they will learn to obey. They are just too young to have much self discipline. So choose your battles.

It’s tough enough with one, but three that close in age…it must feel like they gang up to disobey you. And being at home all the time means they know every button to push.

The best you can do is to set daily schedules with lots of activities, including transition times. Keeping meal/nap times consistent will help as well. At that age, 20 minutes is about the longest you’ll hold their attention…except for maybe a movie worked into the day.

Good luck mama. :purple_heart::green_heart: Believe it or not, it will pass eventually and they’ll be in a totally different stage.

Have to consistent with the any punishment! If it’s 5 min in time out, set the timer, if your child is still misbehaving then mite have to again and most importantly ask them if they know why they are in time out. Be loving but strict. Your the mommy! You got this! :blush:

Consistency, don’t react when they scream, redirect, time-out or a quick tap after the first no~ whatever your preferred method, & breathe. This too will pass. Praise good behavior ~ very nice, very good, I like when you…

Time out bottles when they’re in time out. Take an old water bottle out a bottle of water liners glitter glue in it and a small bottle of glitter fill with water then super glue it shut. Shake it up and tell them to watch there anger or bad feelings settle with the glitter, they have to stay seated with the glitter settles and if they mess with the bottle they stay longer. It helps teach most kids how to self soothe and calm down on there own. Does t work on my ADHD son but worked well for my daughter.

I can’t contribute any helpful advice. In the same boat with you! You’re not alone frennn :upside_down_face:
Kids are crazy lol

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Damn I thought I was the only one. My 3 year old is in therapy so I’m still trying to figure him out but what I’ve noticed is making a huge deal about the good things he does(when he listens) and making a big stink when he doesn’t sometimes steers him in the right direction. My 5 year old literally looks forward to anything so I tell him if he’s good and listens we will do this or that go somewhere etc.

You got to say it in away they get, kids don’t know all their vocabulary like we do. Simple words, very on floor, walking feet, toys in bin, short phrases. Try not to use no it’s hard day stop, please do this, and say thank you when they do it. Kids love to be praised. The more positive the better, it’s gonna take practice. But, it works.

I hold my kid stern and ask her if she’s ready to talk, she doesn’t get to get out of my hold until she’s ready to talk. When she says yes, I converse with her and we’re good. Oh and I make sure she’s looking at me when I’m talking. You could try it when you asking them to do something and they’re not listening, hold their hand, not to hurt but just not to walk away at all until their ready to listen. Hopefully it can help.

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I have 3 same ages…well they are all a little older now so im getting out of that all under 3 age with the ages soon to be 4,3,2. My middle tends to do w.e his big brother does and the baby w.e the middle does so if I can get to the oldest then I can get to them all. And if that doesnt work sometimes I just have to lose my shit and put some base in my voice…let um know im not playing around. I can say something a million times with no response but as soon as they hear a little crazy in my voice they start moving lol. They also HATE standing in the corner, that works well. Positive reinforcement when they do well also.

It’s usually low blood sugar and a need of a nap!

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WHIP THAT ASS. They are old enough for displine. And a good pop on the butt qill make them understand you mean the real deal.

Yup sounds like you have toddlers…

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