My kids no longer want to visit their dad: Advice?

I live in North Dakota. As of right now, my EX and I share custody of our children. There has never been a Custody agreement put on paper; we were never married. Things are Changing, and my children are unhappy. They no longer want to go over there when it’s his time. Also, they have terrible attitudes when they come home. They never have any positive things to say about their time with him. My oldest makes a list of everything she misses when she home with me. I want to go for full custody, and I’ve been calling around, I filled out paperwork for legal aid and was turned down because the house makes to much. It would be just me fighting this fight and paying for it, but they want the entire income for everyone in the house. (we live with my bf) I know I can not afford this fight on my own. Does anyone have any advice for me? Anyone else been in this situation? How does this work? I just want my children to be happy!

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I’m in North Dakota too! Been through this a long time ago. Depending on the age, kids have to be 13yrs old to decide who they want to live with or visit.

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Maybe you should address WHY.

Parental alienation describes a process through which a child becomes estranged from a parent as the result of the psychological manipulation of another parent. The child’s estrangement may manifest itself as fear, disrespect or hostility toward the parent, and may extend to additional relatives or parties. The child’s estrangement is disproportionate to any acts or conduct attributable to the alienated parent. Parental alienation can occur in any family unit, but is believed to occur most often within the context of family separation, particularly when legal proceedings are involved, although the participation of professionals such as lawyers, judges and psychologists may also contribute to conflict.

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Just know that even if you take him for full custody you probably wont yet it. If he’s willing to put up a fight. I dont believe you stated the ages of the kids however their kids and should be spending time with both parents. Just giving you a heads up that a judge can order visitation and when you fail to comply cause the kids dont wanna go you will.be in fault

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Ur house hold is u and ur kids u are technically renting with ur boyfriend u care for you and ur kids no help from him! Re apply

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I agree with Brittany Kay McAlister, you and your boyfriend aren’t married. Therefore, his income doesn’t count. It’s technically renting a room from him, which is considered split households. Re-apply and you’ll qualify.

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I only had to pay for the custody papers to be filed. In Alaska it was 200$ I fought everything by my self and never had to pay for anything.

https://www.ndcourts.gov/legal-self-help/establishing-custody-and-visitation

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If nothing has been put on paper then you have no legal binding document ? How old are your children if they have mental capacity then I wouldn’t send them you won’t get legal aid unless you are a single parent who is financially struggling and have been a suffered of domestic abuse and dv and you have reports ect to prove this xx

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That’s there dad to. Dosent matter what they want. A judge will ask you . Do you wake up in the morning and ask your kids how you can dress or what there making for dinner or getting permission from them?? Absolutely not. It’s not up to them. You can’t rob them of not having a father cause there in happy at the moment. You may get full custody but he will still get visitation rights !! Are you bitter? Are you saying things to make them not like it? Are you encouraging it ?. I am all about equal rights and hate when another parent want to take there kids away just isn’t because you think it’s right .

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I never made my kids go to see their dad if they didn’t want to.

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I personally wouldn’t force my child to go to see their dad if they didn’t want to. Up to yourself at the end of the day

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Find out why. Maybe they have a good reason for not wanting to go. You should listen and respect their decision. You don’t know what’s happening over there thats frightening them.

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I first suggest speaking with him, as well as speaking to your children. Find out the issue at hand. I’d hope neither parent is discussing the other parent, to the children. That’s not right. Children should feel safe, and unconditional love from both parents. Alienating the other just isn’t right, unless the children are not safe and being abused in one way or another.

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My kids use to say the same about my ex, but I would still make them go because I always felt it’s important to have a relationship with their dad. Because of it they have a stronger bond with him. If he’s still seeing his kids he is a present dad and it’s going to be hard to get full custody. My advise is to get a mediator and agree on a parenting plan for joint custody. Way cheaper and let’s their dad still be in their lives.

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He is your bf. His income is his. You just need a item list of all your expenses. Reapply. I’m in the same right now. My kids hate seeing their dad.

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Do you get any child support from the children’s fathet

You probably won’t get full custody because if he fights you on it the judge will give him visits unless the children have a really good reason for not being there

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If there is nothing on paper regarding custody, you don’t have to send them. He would have to file and fight it to get custody time.

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There’s a reason your kids don’t want to go. Are you bad mouthing him? Is he bad mouthing you? Has he gone through recent changes in a relationship? Do the two of you communicate well? How does he feel about you having full custody?

Lots of questions. The bottom line is they have a mom and a dad, and unless he’s abusing or neglecting them, or causing them some sort of harm while they are visiting him, he deserves his visitation, as do they.

Kids don’t always like their parents. We’re not suppose to be their friends. We’re suppose to do what’s best for them. Talk to your kids and find out why they don’t want to go. Then talk to their dad and let him know what they’ve said. Got from there.

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