My husband and I have been married for seven years, have a daughter together, and I have a son from a previous marriage. I am very observant and notice he treats my son differently, ex: whatever he does/gives to our daughter, he doesn’t go to my son even tho he denies doing it and gets mad. I am currently working from home due to kids school closed, and I’ve become more stressed than normal. He expects food to be ready for him, house cleaned when he comes home (even tho he doesn’t tell me he just makes indirect comments) while I’m working on the computer all day and helping kids with a school in between. His schedule is work, come home, take a shower, eat and play on his phone until he gets sleepy. No family time! I’m mentally exhausted at this point… I’m so tired of asking him for help, love, compassion, and understanding for all these years. He just can’t seem to show me and my son love, and it’s a constant fight. He is married to his work (12-hour shifts, six days a week.) we have talked about him getting a different job that’s more family-friendly, but he just gets mad, telling me he loves his job. Advice?bPS : After our 100th fight on Tuesday night, I stopped cooking for him and he hasn’t made a comment yet.
I’d tell him it’s time for change or you’re out. Don’t waste your life settling, especially with someone who cannot compromise.
Sounds like a complete waste of time…,get out as soon as you can. You and your son do not deserve the pain and unhappiness.
This was practically my life (minus the fact your husband works a lot. Mine had a regular 40 hour work week) I got tired of begging for time. Begging for affection for myself and our kids. I left and I am the happiest I have ever been. Don’t settle for half ass men.
Go to marriage counseling. Otherwise, I would tell him to shape up or get out.
Tell him everything you just told us. Designate time to talk to him. If he refuses to hear or help, you have a hard decision on your hands
Tell him to get out! You can do better!!!
I was in this same spot. We’re now divorced. He is not worth your time. Tell him to go since you’re already doing it on your own.
My marriage is one sided. LEAVE. It’s never going to change. Stop expecting people to treat you the way YOU treat people.
It doesn’t sound like much of a marriage. I would tell him it’s time to go to counseling and for him to start helping out. If not he needs to go. It’s not worth the heart ache. Your worth more then that.
Damn if I live with him
There are good men out there who will help you without even having to be asked. And they will love all that is you, kids included. You are supposed to be a partner not his helper or assistant. You are a wife. Communicate this to him/how you feel and see what he CHOOSES to do. That will be all the answer that you need
Maybe from being a single parent so many years it’s always been my responsibility to take care of the children and the house and the school work All the while working my own full-time job
Part of the problem is asking him to help you. This insinuates that it is your job and he is the helper. Lay it all out on the line and give him his share of the work load divide daily tasks that need to get done. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be give and take but you are cutting yourself short and he is taking advantage.
I was in a situation similar to this except no work or kids in school on line and I wasn’t married we were just boyfriend/ girlfriend he had some extreme expectations of how the house should look and that dinner should be on the table when he gets home and that he shouldn’t have to do anything around the house when he got home, I put up with it for about 3 months before I’d had enough and I quit doing ANYTHING for him!! I didn’t cook for him I didn’t clean up after him I didn’t do his laundry I didn’t take care of his dog (obviously I didn’t let the dog go with out but if he was home and the dog needed to go out I didn’t do it and if he pooped or peed in the house I made him clean it up) we’ve now been together for almost 7 years, married for 1, with our third child on the way!! He comes home and does laundry or Cooks dinner sometimes if need be he picks up around the house!! I do try to make sure the house is clean or dinner is done but if it isn’t he doesn’t hesitate to step in and help out!!
Girl, you have two kids…you don’t need a third. Either tell him to get his shit together or he can get out.
Definitely one sided. When he makes those remarks if I were you I’d be like you have hands, you do it. You’re working AND basically being your kids teacher. So he can shove it
Don’t ask and don’t do.
I for one can tell everyone that helping with the virtual schooling is a nightmare in itself! My anxiety levels were through the roof trying to navigate the system, the multiple emails sent to each child, the virtual google meets that they had to attend, the spreadsheets etc. etc. He should not expect so much from you. Keeping a family together and happy is a team effort. If he’s not going to hear you out or even willing to try, I would seriously consider separation. Children know when they are treated differently by step parents, they feel that. They often begin to act out bc of it. I’m so sorry that your having to deal with this and I hope everything works out for you and your family
I divorced my “roommate” 4 years ago for this exact thing but without the demanding job. When you are tired of being his mother, you will make your decision from there