My MIL constantly takes my 2-month-old from my hands when she cries: What should I do?

Needing some advice/ranting sesh, I really hate to be THAT daughter in law, but I’m going insane. Sorry for the long read. The background story on my daughter, she was born at 36 weeks with Gastroschisis, she spent 44 days in the NICU and has only been home for two months. Now my fiance’s mom decided that no matter what I say she’s going to do whatever she wants, as soon as my girl starts crying she runs over to me and snatches her away from me. Every time my fiance is holding her, she runs and snatches her away from him even tho my fiance hasn’t seen her all day because he has worked. I tell her that my girl doesn’t like to be rocked to sleep at night, and she still rocks her even tho she’s fighting her. Whenever I put her down for a nap, and my fiance’s mom gets home from work, she wakes her up, so my girl ends up getting overtired. When we are out at a store or somewhere, and she sees someone she knows, she snatches her away from me and runs off without even telling me where shes going. She will give her the bottle. Every time she starts crying, resulting in her getting overfed. The other night my girl was crying while she was trying to rock her to sleep, so I asked her for the baby, so I can put her in her crib well she got upset, and when my fiance asked her what was wrong she didn’t want to tell him, so he walked into the room and he said what did you do to her and I was like what do you mean why are you assuming I did something to her well he goes cuz you were the only one that could have done something to her well she eventually told him that I had hurt her feelings by asking for my baby back, and he demanded I apologize to her and I was like how come I have to apologize to her for asking for my baby back but she does have to apologize to me for constantly snatching her away as soon as she starts crying why is it that I hurt her feelings, but she hasn’t hurt my feelings when she does that to me all the time, and he was like she does it because it’s a maternal instinct and I was like well how come it’s in maternal instinct when she does it but not when I do it? And we got into a huge argument that resulted in me telling him a bunch of things that I didn’t like his family did, but they didn’t care how I felt about it. Like his grandma is a smoker and she’s constantly kissing up right next to her mouth and she goes outside and she smokes and she comes right back in and gets the baby even though she knows I don’t like that and another thing is one day I was going to feed my baby so I had made her a bottle and I went to get her from his grandma but she moved her away from me looked at me like if I was crazy and snatch the bottle away from me to feed her. When I mentioned that to my fiance, he said that she was going to do that no matter what because that was her great grandbaby. Now I just don’t understand why he’s making excuses for everyone else saying oh it’s your grandbaby always her great-grand baby when it’s my baby like I should have first say. If it’s a maternal instinct for his grandma and his mom it should be a maternal instinct for me because that’s my baby, not theirs

85 Likes

First of all, this is your husband’s fight bcuz it’s his mother. But if he won’t say anything, I damn sure would. It’s YOUR baby, not hers.

I would never allow someone to withhold my own baby from me or to go against what I want as a parent. Your fiance should be supporting you and be on your side. Is there anywhere else you can go? Leave him with his mom since he wants to take her side.

9 Likes

Ummm, it sounds like you are living with them - why? If you’re old enough to have a baby you should be married and living in your own place so you don’t have to deal with this kind of stuff.

20 Likes

Sounds like you need to have some serious conversations about boundaries…with both your fiance and MIL. That is your child and you make the rules.

3 Likes

I’d be pissed.if someone took my baby from.mu hands. You should have never apologized

I’m just saying… if it was my kid… I’d tell her back up. Waking her up from her nap and making her over tired is a no no. Taking her from HER MOTHER every time she cries is a no no. Just no. I’d tell her. STOP TOUCHING MY BABY. period. & yall seem to think shit is just peachy all the time. Sometimes LIFE HAPPENS.

Sounds to me like you live with them and should do what ever you can to get your own place. Your baby your day but at the same time it’s hard when you live with other people. I say pick your battles and let people help you out. The smoking then holding baby would be a hard no for me. My husband was a huge mamas boy no matter what I said, he didn’t change no matter what I said until he saw that he was about to loose me and the kids over his actions. He might feel trapped if y’all live with them.

2 Likes

You are the parent, YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR BABY

2 Likes

You need to put her in her place,if you are wanting to be a responsible mother,parent she should be thankful! I’m,raising two grandkids would have loved for them to have parents wanting to raise their own kids!

2 Likes

Bruh, you need to put your foot down!!! That is YOUR baby. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do or how to feel. They sure as hell shouldn’t be “snatching” that baby from you. How does that even happen??? Like stand your ground dude. Protect your child!!!

9 Likes

That snatching bs would have only happened once. Like you said, y’all live together so you need to move out asap. That is not ok!

1 Like

Get the hell away from those people ASAP. That’s YOUR baby not hers.

2 Likes

She would not be able to snatch my baby from me.

2 Likes

there are so many people in f’d up situations. Holy crap!

Move out of that house. Problem solved

2 Likes

Move out. Maybe even leave him. You and your daughter are always going to come last. Me is allowing her to abuse you. This is going to cause all kinds of problems with your daughter down the road.

Sounds like you need to move out.

2 Likes

When she got close I would turn away from her and tell her NO! This is my baby, let me deal with him/ her

1 Like

Girl that is your baby not theirs. You make the rules.