My mil left the kids alone while she was watching them: Advice?

I need to vent before I blow a gasket!! I love my in-laws. It’s been tricky, but I love them. MIL only once every couple of months watches our kids (ss10, bd13, and bs3) when I’m at work, and my husband goes to help our landlord clean outhouses. We haven’t even had a date night in 3 years! Well, today she watched them. Luckily it was a short day for me, so I was home right after lunch. My husband got home, asked about their day, and asked if grandma went anywhere. Ss10 jumped on it and said nope, she was here all day (9-230…when hub left to when I got home). Hub asked again later, so you guys had McD AND pizza for lunch, but no one left? Ss said nope again. Come to find out MIL left bs3 with bd13 (with whom we have huge issues with currently and can’t trust her to even feed the dog! OH and SHE has issues with anxiety when home alone or even home with ss10) And took ss10 with her to go to McD and pick the pizza up…not even have it delivered. We’ve NEVER left bs with either of the kids as we’re not ready for that for trust and reliability issues. Plus, bs is THREE!! So ss lied to us and MIL only took ss10 bc she didn’t want to deal with the other two. Like cool you can’t stand my kids and can’t even watch them for 5 freakin hours!!! I’m SO MAD!


Ss, bd, bs? What are these abbreviations? I’ve never seen them used before


need a “Key” to decode your situation: ss10, bs3, bd13???


𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗵 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗴𝗼 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗖𝗿𝘆𝗽𝘁𝗼𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘁. 𝗜𝘁𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽, 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝗻 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝘀𝗼 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗯𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸.
𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱
Serah L Timofey

Home alone!?
I’d be flipping a lid. A three year old is much to handle for a grown up, let alone a child. I’d revoke the rights and make sure she wouldn’t be watching them ever again. Screw that.
A child being left alone is highly dependent on their maturity level (and age) but she should have asked you first in any case. That’s just a respect thing.


She went to pick up a pizza and left the kid with a teenager… get over it. Be glad they even watch your children.


:woman_facepalming:t5: oh no. She went and picked up food. Not like she left them for hours :roll_eyes:


Why is it necessary in this story to use all the abbreviations … bio kid vs step kid… what difference does it make?!

Also don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it. Going to pick up food is a lot different than leaving them home alone for hours


If you already didn’t trust her why are you surprised? If you truly cared about the bs the kids wouldn’t have been there in the first place after being shown it’s not the right environment for them…:woman_facepalming:


I was babysitting kids that age when I was 13.


I leave my 10yr old with my 2 yr old for an hour twice a week so I can go to the gym. It’s not a big deal. What is a big deal is that grandma did it without asking mom if that was fine. That’s the issue to me!


I mean if it was only a short amount of time, I don’t see an issue. I don’t leave my 2 year old with my 11 year old, but if it was an emergency, he could very well keep him alive and well for a bit lol.


Well ya know not to leave them with her anymore


I don’t really see why it is a huge deal. You are probably talking about 30-45 minutes. A 13 year old is plenty old enough to handle a 3 year old for a couple of hours but I doubt it was that long… Also if you want her to be more responsible then you have to give her opportunities to be responsible. I understand your need to vent because that’s not how you would have done it but not everyone is you.


I would talk to her about it.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.


I was babysitting other people’s kids at 13. And frankly forgetting to feed a dog is a lot different than watching your younger sibling for half an hour while your grandma picks up food. They were clearly fine.


Get over yourself seriously. Your mil went n got some food for the kids. You over there ready to blow a gasket cause it was probably 10-15 minutes top if that. FYI every parent has issues with their hormonal 13 year old child n of course some have a hard time feeding the animals (like hello?!? Normal stuff) but I highly doubt your daughter would let anything to her little brother. Cut your mother in law some slack seriously n get over it


So MIL gave the 13yo some responsibility and nothing bad happened. I really feel like the OP should probably question why they are “SO MAD” and thoroughly look into why they don’t trust their 13yo.


13 should be more than capable of watching for a few minutes! I don’t get the abbreviations, what does it matter if its a step or biological! To say she doesn’t like your kids is overstepping!


Shut up 13 is old enough to babysit :roll_eyes: