My MIL wants to have sleepovers with my SO: Thoughts?

Hey ladies! I was wondering: Is it normal for my [crazy] future MIL to want to have a sleepover with my SO? My SO’s mom lives about an hour and forty-five minutes from us. She spends the night with my SO’s older sister pretty regularly as she is a SAHM and her husband works on the road. Every time we talk, she mentions coming over to our apartment during the summer and spending the weekend/having a sleepover. My SO and she doesn’t get along really well as she is a pushy, mean, and judgemental person. (For instance, we had been dating around a year, and I switched birth control to the Nexplanon implant and gained about 25 pounds. She asked multiple times if I was pregnant and said I was gaining weight too rapidly not to be. I ended up having to take a pregnancy test and show her I wasn’t.) She does and says things like this all the time. We go visit her for holidays and sometimes on off weekends to try and satisfy her, but my SO never enjoys it and really prefers space from his mother. He has expressed multiple times that he doesn’t want her staying with us and can barely keep it together in the short periods of time we spend with her. Anyways, This is something my mother would never try. I don’t have older siblings, so I don’t know if this is normal or not. I’ve never heard of mothers wanting to have sleepovers with their grown children and their SOs, especially when they don’t get along well, to begin with. I don’t feel comfortable with her in our home for that long. We don’t even have a spare room, and she has a “bad back”(i.e., addicted to pain pills), so she has stated she would sleep in our bed and my SO, and I could stay on the couch. I don’t know if I am being rude or not by not wanting her to spend the night/weekend. If I’m not overreacting, how should I go about telling her no? So far, I’ve only danced around the subject or said: “Yeah, we’ll have to see when the time comes,.”

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Toxic lady if ask me

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Your other half doesnt want her to. It’s an easy no.

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Tell that woman to go meddle in someone else’s life

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Let your husband deal with her, it’s his mom not yours

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She cray cray hahaha offer her the nice hotel down the road and they can hang out during the day with the kids.

Ha! That would be a no. I’m not going to give up the bed I sleep in for someone else to stay in. And just the whole thing in general is weird if you ask me. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Eek no.

It’s one thing to stay if there are grandchildren involved and you live far away. But that is just odd.

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If you guys had a good relationship I wouldn’t see anything wrong with it but he needs to just tell her he’s not interested

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I don’t think it’s weird, they may not get along but if it doesn’t work out they’ll learn real quickly not to do it. I would have no problem with my SOs mom coming and my SO never has a problem with my dad spending the night with us…

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ummm no… you dont have the room simply put. She can get a hotel if she wants an extended visit

Why do you have to tell her No. why can’t her son?

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It’s not an abnormal situation when there is a distance between the two homes. My ex MIL does the same thing. She will spend days at my children’s aunt’s or uncles while her husband is away for work because she wants to see the grandkids and not be alone. However, she doesn’t call it a sleepover. She just comes for visits on a weekly basis. But my ex husband was like you. Hes the only one she does stay overnight with because he didnt feel cool with it. They dont get along as well as his mom and his sisters. But it you guys dont have the space then you dont have the space and your husband will need to speak up and say he’s not feeling it.

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Smh crazy crazy crazy lady

That’s easy. Y’all obviously don’t want her to so just say no. I dont think it’s weird for her to want to spend time with her family. Maybe she wants to get closer and just be apart of something. Never know. However your house means you make the choices. If she is really that toxic then I wouldnt allow her to stay in my home without a change in attitude.

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The word “SO” is like nails on chalkboard :sweat_smile: they’re either your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance’s or friend with benefits. Pick a title.

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Eehgg she sounds so annoying…

My family is three hours away so when my mom visits she stays at my house in my daughter’s room :woman_shrugging:

It’s his mother…if you both agree it’s a no…he should just flat out tell her NO. It’s not weird , in a normal non-strained relationship, but they clearly don’t get along so that’s just her being pushy.

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Tell her about nice hotels in the area and stand your ground.