My mom and I have parenting differences: I need advice

Hi, so I’ve noticed it for quite a while but never had the energy to bring it up because it would start a humongous fight, but my mom is still young, and because of that, still pretty into drama. I haven’t brought it up because of this, and because if I did, it would start a huge fight that would probably make my family not want anything to do with me. Anyway, my mom is super distant with my son and doesn’t interact with him at all when we are over, but she is always all over and hugging on and talking to my sister’s daughter. They are the same age, and you can tell that she doesn’t put in the same care with my son. My son will try to talk to her or play with her, and she ignores him, and she is super strict with just him. She also is pushing really hard for me to stop breastfeeding since my sister has stopped but never said a word about it until she did even though she was planning on going longer. She judges my mothering skills hard, as well. I do not like to spank my son unless it is really needed, which is hardly ever the case because he usually listens the first or second time around, but she insists I need to be harder on him or I’m going to make him a “p**sy.” I just would like some sort of advice with this on what to do? I love her to death, but it really bothers me. And if I bring it up with her, it will turn into a huge thing that won’t ever end. They may only support the system, so I don’t want to cause any drama. She is super into controlling everything I do with my life, and a lot of my decisions are made with her in mind because of this. Maybe just some advice on how to deal with it, so it doesn’t hurt my feelings anymore? Am I too sensitive? Please no, mean comments, just trying to figure this whole thing out!

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Just ask her if she wants her grand son to resent her. Just saying, kids aren’t dumb and he’s going to notice pretty quickly how hardcore she is playing favourites.

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Mama, it’s your baby and it’s your way or the high way. She had her chance to raise her babies the way she wanted to. It’s your turn now. Maybe instead of doing it in retaliation or while you’re angry, sit her down and have a heart to heart with her about it. Really explain how it makes you feel and how much your son loves and wants to interact with her. If she doesn’t get it then, maybe a more aggressive approach is your only option. You can’t walk on eggshells with raising your son the way you see fit. He’s YOUR son.

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Doint let her push you around you are the mom of your child not her stand your ground with your children it’s your decision on want you want to do if it piss her off then so be it I know you’re felling iv been throw this with my family

I think you should take a step back from her for a while maybe then she’ll realize what shes doing. Your son has to come first. Bringing him around your mom to treat him like that is showing you’re ok with the way she is treating him. Dont ever allow anyone to be like that to your child. Your mom or not.

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Honey no mean comments just because someone else Sis. Stopped breast feeding doesnt meAn you have to as well do what you feel is right for your child and as for spanking there are other ways to deal with your littleone in othet words do what /
What you feel is right shes Grandma not mom love her but your child.comes first just sayin

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Pray about it♡
God is awesome and can do amazing things.
Just give your son lots of love momma and try not to let it cause you to have weird feelings for your sisters baby.

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If you can tell she treats your son differently compared to your niece then imagine how your son feels. Sounds toxic. Remove yourself and your innocent little boy before its to late. I sure wouldn’t trust her watching your son by the sounds of the situation. Huge RED FLAG when she used your son and the word p***y in the same sentence.

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I have 3 grandkids by my one daughter. The first one was a girl, the second was a boy, the third was a girl. I’ve never really been around boys. I didn’t grow up with my brothers, my dad wasn’t really around and like I said, I had one child, which was a girl. I’m never around boy’s so I don’t feel as close to my grandson as I do my granddaughters. I love him the same, I’m just not as close to him. And of course I’m never mean to him or dismissive of him. Maybe your mom just feels closer to the girl and doesn’t mean to be rude to your son. Idk why she’s so controlling over your life, I just thought I’d see if my story helped at all. Good luck sweetie.

I feel like if it’s bothering you and how you parent or values it’s worth the argument or standing up for yourself. Anything you believe with your whole heart is worth going against the grain for and there is nothing more worth it than your kids. There are ways to approach it respectfully, and if she doesn’t reciprocate the respect then is she who you should be worrying about upsetting?

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Tell her it’s ur son not hers But I love her

I wouldn’t allow anyone near my kids with this kind of damaging mentality. Mom or not…she is toxic. Give her some distance and a good talk.

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You mother your son exactly according to your heart, no matter what other people, especially family says. The contrast in treatment towards your niece and your son, would be enough for me to speak up, confront her about it, despite the consequences, because your son needs to see that you see. He needs someone to stand up for him, and that seems to be only you. Your mom is super controlling you say… but doesn’t seem very loving. Is that something you want or deserve? Is that what you want for your son? I would suggest you speak to a therapist too, because you need to process how your mom treats you and your son, and gain the perspective and strength to stand up for yourself and your son. Good luck to you- even if it starts a huge thing, it will be worth it in the end

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Your son is going to notice she doesn’t love him the same as his sister. And he will resent her, his sister AND you for allowing it to continue. Your babies happiness and well being should be the FIRST thing you consider when making decisions. And they aren’t YOUR support system bc they don’t support you and your choices or your son. I wouldn’t be surprised if she abuses or neglects him when he’s alone with her.

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You didnt say what age your son is but obviously old enough to botice the difference in the way he is treated . I would ask your mother why she does this .is there a problem whats going on. Tell her shes hurting yours and his feelings. Maybe she just likes girls more than boys. Its not acceptable for her to ignore your son and if she keeps it up i wouldnt take him there. Its hurtfulfor you and your son. Tell her you wont put up with it and stay away for awhile

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I would try and have a heart to heart with her. No matter of it would cause drama I would bring it up. What she is doing is wrong and is hurtful to you and will be eventually to him. If talking doesn’t work I would stop bringing him around her until she can change her ways. And as far as breastfeeding goes. Did it as long as you and him feel comfortable. You know what is best mama.

Stand up for yourself and your child if she gets mad so what your the mother you make the decision on how you raise your child

If my mom was like this, i would drop her out of my lifw

Take a break and just keep a little distance

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I would get away from her…