My mom expects payment for babysitting and for me to work around her schedule: Advice?

I could really use some advice on this. My boyfriend and I work full-time jobs, so my mom travels the 10-minute drive to our house to babysit our daughter. I pay her $20-$40 a week. I mainly just pay for the gas she uses in my grandma’s car. She doesn’t have a job and lives with my grandmother. She expects me to work around her appointments and/or her road trips to another state to see her married boyfriend with my work schedule. She also expects me to give her money for other things outside of babysitting. We can never buy anything for ourselves or for our daughter without feeling guilty for not giving her what she wants or without getting judged for buying things for the house instead of buying her things or giving her money. There are so many things she expects from me just because she watches our daughter, but it would be a book if I wrote it all out. I’m at my wit’s end with this. I’m thinking about looking into daycares in my area, but 1. We can’t afford a huge amount for childcare, and I’m terrified to have someone else watch our daughter with all of the horrible daycare stories I hear about, and 2. It will cause a lot of drama between my mom and me. I don’t want to cause any issues because my mom takes things way out of proportion if she doesn’t get her way, and it’s a huge fight. What should I do??


So your moms only income is watching your child so you dont have to put your child in daycare? And you think $40 and even $20 a week is good enough? Yes shes grandma but if she doesnt work and takes off that daycare bill for you thenn???


$20 to $40 a week…:flushed::flushed:


She raised her kids so you are complaining about $40 a week? Have you priced childcare??? OMG


You seem entitled, selfish and a bit delusional honestly.


You’re the problem. If you are having her babysit you should be paying her a lot more. She has every right to ask for more money and she is allowed to have days off. What is wrong with you ???


Her sole income is watching your child? She’s making you work around her schedule to see her boyfriend and such? Um…no.

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Well you need to stand your ground, either you have her watch your child and give in to her manipulative behavior, or you either find a daycare your other friends either work at or take their kids to. Or find someone you know who can watch your kid

Uhmmm no… her only income is watching YOUR child and you only pay 40$? What is wrong with YOU! That is your mother. Pay her to watch your kid or stop working. When I worked full time my mother and I agreed to 150$ every two weeks and that wasn’t even me working full time. A grandparent is much SAFER and cheaper but it sounds like you’re just too cheap in general


$40 dollars a week? My toddler goes to pre school only 3 days a week and us as his parents pay $794 a month are you kidding me??


Wow! You don’t have to worry about your child being abused, they are safe with grandma and it’s grandma vs a daycare, grandma who loves them with all of her soul, and you complain about 20-40 a week? I watched my grandbabies all from birth to starting school and you know ya get tired of not being appreciated and it being expected of us! We need time for ourselves also but we make time to watch our precious grands! You should give her gas money , and offer her pay and most likely she will spend it on them anyway, quit being selfish and entitled ! I honestly cannot believe you had the audacity to complain ! Imagine how she feels when you are out buying stuff , but you cannot even pay her so she can buy herself things, do you know how depressing that is? Nope bc you only think about yourself , I feel like this comes from a place of guilt and you are trying to validate it by coming on here to get others to join your pity party !


Id say bump the pay up a little more for the week maybe that will stop her from asking for more money


You do get that this is your child?? :thinking:
Not hers, yours!! You’re lucky she’s willing to do anything for you :ok_hand: She’s raised her kids, this is your responsibility not hers!!!


That is nothing for someone to watch a child while you work a full time job. You should be paying more.


So your in the right to not want your work schedule to revolve around her social life. However, she is in the right to want more money. 20 dollars a week is not enough. 50 or 60 dollars a week is still cheaper then daycare. I paid 120 dollars a week but 50 or 60 may be fair if she is eating your food etc. However, if she wants to be paid more then you have to go to work so she has to balance her social life around your work schedule.


If you’re willing to pay a daycare astronomically more money why not give her a pay increase and let her know she now has no reason to guilt trip you?


My daughter is a single divorced mom with 2 kids I babysitter for her at no charge at any time one is 11 and the other is 8.kept them both till that got into school.


Well you could pay an actual baby sitter and owe her nothing, but you’d be paying more a day than u pay a week.


What should u Do? Pay your mom more money!! You’re benefiting from not having to pay 150+ every WEEK and not having to deal with your daughter in daycare. Think about it. You’re so scared to put her in daycare that you’re having your mom watch her… then you pay what she requests and work around her schedule. If u have an issue with that then bite the bullet and out her in daycare.


Well, she definitely doesn’t have to watch your kid at all. Put the kid in daycare for a few weeks, and you’ll appreciate the fair expectations from your mom.