Hey guys. I’m 27 yrs old, and my parents live with my fiancé and me. My mom and I are close, but I feel like whenever my fiancé and I go out with our little family, she expects to be invited, and that’s not the case. I love my mom, but I feel like she has a hard time understanding that I have my own family now and want to make memories with them. She always calls me out whenever we go out, but on my dad’s days off, they go out without saying a word. It’s so annoying, and the worst part is she’s really sensitive, so really, there’s no correct way to approach the topic. Granted, I’ll invite her if I’m running errands or something, but I don’t feel like I should invite her everywhere. Am I wrong? Any advice would be appreciated.
There is a time when you need to live your own life. No one needs to be around ALL time.
I would just try to gently explain that to her. It’s hard when parents live with you or vice versa.
Tell her to grow up and get her own life… Might be time you and your other half need to move out
I definitely wouldn’t say EVERY time but as a mom I can also completely understand wanting to be there to see those memories your child’s little family are making and be a part of it. Don’t forget you’re also her baby no matter how old you are so just like you want to spend quality time and make memories with your family, she’ll always want to do the same with you too. It’s hard to keep that in mind especially when living together, but just remember your mom will always want to be there for every moment in your life. Even more so now that her baby has had babies.
I don’t think you’re wrong. But it wouldn’t hurt to invite her sometimes. Just have a talk with her.
Boundries need to be defined and discussed it sounds like. And followed
It’s hard living with another family under one roof…,
Then you should be happy your dad takes her out without bothering you. Invite here sometimes and don’t feel bad about the times you dont, but its still nice for your kids, Im sure.
My mom died at 48 years old. My son was only 3 months old. I use to feel the same way as you. But my advice is just suck it up and let her go with you. She wants to be included in the memory making with her grand kids. I would literally do anything to have my mom back and be able to take her to do things with us.
You are an adult daughter, you just have to say look mum I’m making memories with my husband and kids, please understand that the times you did that with me I cherish but you wont be invited sometimes…its honestly as simple as that, if she still gets upset that’s on her not you so donr take it to heart
Just try having a civil sit down with her and let her know that whenever you and your little family go out it’s your time and when she goes on errands with you it’s her time. It would be like you getting upset because they don’t invite you to go with them. You need to spend quality time with your little family.
Also go out with just your mom. Its nice.
Call her when they go out and do what she does. Lol. I act like my kid some days and he stops being the rude kid
Maybe just lay out a schedule for some private bonding with your little fam & another schedule that she can join in. I think she will respect that if you talk to her about your plans.
I agree with Megan Warren because one day mom will be gone, make a day once a month for you and your mom.
I know exactly how you feel. It’s hard having live-in parents. My mom feels the same way. My kids don’t get the total grandparent experience, because she lives with us full time. It’s like they have a third parent.
I’d try to talk to her and explain how she gets upset but when the tables are turned you don’t. Maybe she thinks she’ll miss out and just wants to spend time with you I know y’all live together
Why don’t you invite her now and then it wouldn’t hurt you
Sounds like she is a covert narcissist parent also known as emotional or covert incest, look it up.