My mom left my father of 30 years: How do we cope?

I need some advice! I’m a wife and a mom of 3. My parents have been married for almost 30 years. Two days ago, my mother up and leaves my father. Not just leaves but disappears. She basically abandoned us all saying that she’s unhappy and had to go. She doesn’t want to come back, and it doesn’t really bother her that we’re all hurting. My older sister and younger brother are just as broken as I am. My father is a wreck, and we all have to figure out how to tell our kid’s shes gone. I don’t know how to cope with this. I can barely think straight. Does anyone have any advice for me on hos to deal with this? Thanks in advance!

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Your how old grow up.

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You sound selfish you have no right to challenge her choice just like if you left your husband just accept her tell the kids the truth and move on

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She has a right to put her happiness before yalls…your grown she owes you nothing…does that make it right…?? No…but she done what she felt was right for her

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She didn’t abandon you all…she stayed more than likely unhappy until you all were grown…you have your life with your children, time for mama to live hers!

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I would say, she is a grown woman, she is your mother yes, but she is a human and if she is unhappy and miserable you have to allow her to find her happiness. It sounds like her children are grown and have kids of their own. Its time for mom to find herself and her happiness. Sorry you guys are hurting but its not about you anymore.

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I’d tell the kids she’s on a vacation for at least 2 weeks before telling them the truth. Maybe she needs time to come to her senses.

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My parents split after 35 years of marriage, it’s heart breaking but they have to do what’s right for them. Alot of people are only together because they have kids together.

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So she stayed until yall were grown…but u think she abandoned u

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I would say put yourself in her shoes. She raised a family, dedicated her life to a man and her kids… Hard telling what she sacrificed or gave up that she might have been holding in all these years. You get through it by havig empathy and, accepting what is. She May come back you never know. If she don’t, you hope and pray she is okay and happy. Be honest, be strong and, live your life and, raise your family.

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Id get into some counseling. Id also be open to hear her reasoning but make it known she cant just pop in and out the grandkids lives

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I recommend counseling to deal with your mom moving on to a different part of her life. Possibly for your kids as well and if they’re school age seek out their school counselors to handle it age appropriately

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Really you are all grown up. if your mother wants to leave and disappear she can. She doesnt have to stay with your father if shes unhappy because you guys. You sound dumb. Tell your kids grandma went on vacation for awhile. Its really not thay big of a deal like you’re making it.

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Its been two days
Leave her alone.

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Don’t you all wonder why she did this? Something must be going on.

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Your only choice really is to be honest with your kids and just accept it for what it is. There isn’t really anything you can do to change it. She was unhappy and after 30 years and a family that’s not a desicion you make lightly. Life sucks sometimes.

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she’s probably going though a lot more than you even know, maybe she stayed with him unhappy for years & years because she wanted her kids to have a family? & now that you’re grown, she has to take care of herself. Give her space & she will come back around.

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Stay off social media. See your doc

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I wouldn’t tell my kids anything… it was 2 days ago… she will likely be back. Maybe she needs a break???

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Maybe she’s depressed or something? So sorry