My mom told my family things I wanted to stay confidential: Advice?

I’m currently seven months pregnant. I told my mom things I’d thought she’d keep confidential like the abuse of my step dad and me wanting to take him to criminal court. She and my Older half brother told me they wanted nothing to do with me. She’s even went as far as telling my step grandpa whom I share a close bond with that I didn’t care if he died or that I was breaking his heart. She even told my grandma who thinks I’m too soft and that I need to work things out with my stepdad because I’m ruining lives and already gave my mother bail money. I only brought things to light to protect my child and so that they’d know I wouldn’t be around my stepdad and they picked his side by blocking me and blowing up on me saying there done with me, and I know things are only going to get worse once it’s taken to court but are I in the wrong? Losing my whole family and I’m trying my best for my daughter? What more can I do? I’m really at a loss.

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You do it. Your family chose the wrong side. They will realize it when it is to late

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Cut all those sick fucks off.

If your family is more concerned with protecting your abuser, you dont need them anyways.

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The fact that your mother immediately defended your step father speaks volumes about her. Do what you know is right… the family will find out soon enough.

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As a survivor I will say this. Your family is wrong. They want you to bend and break because of this perfect familial image. They will attempt to make your life hard. They will use your baby as a pawn to manipulate. They will lie to the bitter end. Protect yourself and stay far away from them. Don’t focus on " fixing" the severed ties. Your family is victim shaming and that says you don’t need to be near them

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You are not in the wrong. Protect your daughter.

Your mother should have protected you, do not be like her.

I’m sorry for what you have been through, and I know going to court will be tough.

Remember that you are a strong woman no matter what you have been through. If something happened to your daughter you would regret not shedding light on your stepdad.

Good luck!

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To me that’s not a true mother. I would cut ties with them. You don’t need anymore stress on you. I my self my mother did same to me and more. Its been 6 great years for my daughter and my self. She lost out. I could careless what happens to her. There will be no tears in my eyes if she was to die. She and rest are dead to me. Hang in there momma your stronger than you think.

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You are doing the right thing for you and your family

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You need to do what is best for you. Make sure the family you are close with have your side of the story so they can make their own decision on what they want to do. You need to protect your child and do what you feel is best to ensure that happens.
Stay strong and confident in your decision.

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Fuck them :woman_shrugging:t2: you don’t want your child around someone who abused you and that’s that. Don’t let them gaslight you. If they’re more concerned with protecting and defending your abuser, you don’t need them in your life anymore. Go minimum contact or no contact with them even.

You’re doing the right thing! Ignorance is bliss, unfortunately, your family wants to pretend you’re in the wrong instead of having to deal with things the right way.

You’re protecting your daughter, something that should’ve happened for you as a child, and even now, but isn’t.

I’d be getting rid of the toxicity from them, and cleansing them all from my life.

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To me that’s not a family. They chose the wrong side and your better off with out then if their going to pick your abused over you

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They didn’t protect you, but it’s clear you’re strong enough to protect your own daughter! Keep pushing and nail his butt!!!

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Youre better off without any of them. If they will take the side of someone who hurt you they arent worth your time. Make a new family. Family isn’t always blood or legal labels. I’m so sorry for what you went through and that you have a shitty family

Protect your mental and physical health. Toxic family does not need to remain in your life. Write to the ones you love of your truth, and leave it at that (make sure your letters cant be used in court against you somehow). Abuse does not have to be tolerated, and the fact that your mother was in jail speaks volumes about how her thoughts and opinions dont qualify as healthy. Make these changes now, so your child(ren) dont have to go through this when they’re older.

Ps. You will find and choose your new healthy friends and family.

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…did you really think your mom was going to keep her mouth shut ,you are talking about the man she is married too an loves of course she is going to back ,/protect him I’m sorry but if she didn’t protect you from the abuse what makes you think she would take your side now…you should of just cut all them toxic people from your life s long time ago …

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Cling to your daughter and know you did the right thing.

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Not going to explain on here, but having been in a similar situation, your family doesn’t sound like they believe you or ever will. And honestly it is likely better that you cut them off and not have them in your child’s life if they’re going to choose to believe the person who assaulted you instead of you. I wouldn’t trust any of them with my child if they won’t believe you. I had a really hard time with this myself. My family still does not believe me but the man who did it has passed away so I no longer have to worry about him hurting anyone else thankfully so I dropped it and just try to work thru things with my therapist to help me heal.

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Look out for you and your baby. Screw everyone else who chose the abuser. They will see him for who he is eventually but you stand strong and don’t give in when they come crawling back

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