My mother dislikes the guy I have been with for 2 years: Advice?

My mother dislikes my new guy…I’ve been with him for almost two years now, and I am pregnant with his child, but still she insists on not giving him a chance…I have four children from my previous marriage of 12 years, and being pregnant was too hard on me to be able to work so…I have this man completely committed to me and my children working for us and completely supporting the house cars and children that aren’t his by blood…even working 43 overtime hours to ensure they get a decent Christmas…he cares for them as his own…my mother had the audacity to tell him that he couldn’t spank my children even though he was left in charge and one, in particular, was disobeying after numerous warnings…my question is…is my mother right in this or are my feelings legitimate in thinking that if he can work his butt off to support them and love them then he should be able to discipline? Or is it just the fact that I am their mother and I left him in charge when I had to leave, and I gave him permission to discipline? And no, he didn’t take it out of control or context…he didn’t spank her too hard or with an object…she said it didn’t really even hurt.

25 Likes

Do what’s right for you it’s your life.

You :clap:can​:clap:divorce​:clap:toxic​:clap:family​:clap:

8 Likes

My advice would be to stop oversharing relationship information with your mother and that way she doesn’t have any grounds to judge. Look at it as a clean slate and stop confiding in her and telling her things as she’s obviously judgmental. Only say positive things about the relationship and don’t talk about personal decisions such as discipline anymore. If she still insist on being ridiculous than it really is just her issue but she should no longer have knowledge of the private details of your life Behind Closed Doors.

I’m sorry but f*** your mother. This man is breaking his back and working his ass off. He has every right to discipline them and she needs to back off. You need to show him what’s he’s doing matters and that he and the family you’re building WILL be put first. Your mom needs to be put in her place.

4 Likes

if you are happy that is all that matters.it is your life not your mothers. He sounds a good guy they are rare to find.

2 Likes

If you love and respect whom you’re with then who gives a shit what your mom thinks. You should put her in her place and let her know her words and actions will not be tolerated. If she cant handle that then she needs to be removed from your life. Toxic is toxic and this man sounds like he doesnt need this kind of bullshit in his life. Let your mother continue to disrespect him also shows your refusal to defend and stand up for him.

1 Like

my step dad wasn’t allowed to spank me and he’s been in my life 24 years now. i can see where your mom is coming from but in the end it’s really your choice… they are your childreb

She dont like him cause your happy

What’s her reasoning? The spanking only? Is there anything else? I say if it’s only the spanking then she needs to get real. If he can support them and love them like a bio dad, he can punish them like a bio dad.

3 Likes

Yes your mother us right those aren’t his fucking kids and you wrong for letting him…you discipline them…I don’t give a fuck what he paying for…I never played nobody whooping my child wait for me I will determine if a whooping is needed… you are crazy :astonished:

I actually don’t think it’s about him . I think it’s because she has seen her daughter and grandchildren go through something terrible. She is a protective mum and can’t bear the thought of it happening again. I know that sound weird but maybe she needs some support. She is a mum . I can only imagine how this must be frustrating you and your partner.

3 Likes

I think your mother needs to butt out and you should tell her that. If she gets mad well… If she loves you she’ll get over it

1 Like

Butt out mom!! It’s none of her business and tell your children “what happens in your house is not discussed with anyone, including grandma” Emphasis the importance of coming together as a family and family things are not discussion topics.

Live your life for you seems to me you picked a gem

2 Likes

PS: he sounds like a great guy. Not many men would take on their significant others children like your man has. I think he’s a keeper!!

8 Likes

There’s some good advice on here. If your mother cannot respect you as a grown woman with baby number 5 on the way then you need to let her go.:woman_shrugging:

Do what is right for you and your children. Explain to your mom you and the kids are happy. She can accept your relationship and be respectful or you just won’t be around. As long as he’s being good to you and the kids and there’s nothing ugly going on.

4 Likes

Does it really matter to you? Is it a deal breaker that your parents don’t like him? My parents aren’t happy about my choices sometimes but they don’t announce it until after. If you’re happy, that’s all the should matter. Interference from friends and family (even if they think it’s for your best interest… isn’t usually).
Everyone is entitled to on opinion, but it’s only that and should be said and left alone. Tell her enough is enough. Period

If that man is taking care of you and your kids that aren’t his then he’s a good man. He’s a keeper. as far as discipline goes if you gave him permission then he had the right. Don’t listen to your mom

3 Likes