My mother-in-law constantly undermines my parenting: Help?

Has anyone else had to deal with a mother-in-law that undermines you in front of your children? Like, they continuously try and correct your parenting, even when you’re doing nothing wrong, right in front of them, just because that’s not how THEY would handle it? My kids already think they can do what they want when she’s around, and it keeps getting worse every time I try to parent my children and she steps in the right in front of them and tells me what to do. I feel like talking to her won’t help because she genuinely believes she’s the perfect parent and it’s everyone else who’s wrong. We’ve tried talking to her about it before and she just goes right back to the same behavior every time. My husband won’t say anything. He just blows off about it once she leaves. Suggestions on how to handle a situation like that? Because I’m unsure of what to do anymore. Thanks in advance!

26 Likes

Your husband needs to see that it stops. If not, I wouldn’t have her around. I know that sounds cruel but she’s out of line. We had a similar situation with my MIL and we went to counseling and they told us, if it’s his family, he takes care of it. If it’s my family, I need to take care of it.

3 Likes

Put your foot down. She is crossing a boundary that you have set. If she cant respect that, then she shouldn’t be invited over, until she can.

3 Likes

You need to tell her that if she can’t respect your parenting style especially in front of your kids that they won’t be allowed around her till said behavior changes.

5 Likes

I feel your pain, more then you would ever know. It only gets worse and worse. Watching Snapped definitely doesn’t help .

3 Likes

Personally I would SEVERELY limit their interactions with my family then!! You can’t respect me, you have no business in my life. Period! 💁

5 Likes

Stand in front of her when she does it and tell her to stop that u r the parent and take the children to another roo… if in her home leave immediately. Hopefully she will get the message.

5 Likes

respect her… speak to her with understanding and

Stop allowing you and your kids to be in a situation where it happens. Or if she tries to go against what you say, remind her and your kids that you’re the parent and they have to listen to you. Your husband really is probably the biggest problem in this situation especially if he has a problem with it too, because he’s not standing up to her. You and him made your kids…I’m assuming your mother in law wasnt there so she doesnt get a say. :woman_shrugging:t2:

4 Likes

You need to tell her to FUCK OFF & STAY IN HER LANE! YOU, are the mom!!! & you need to tell your husband to grow a pair & stand up for you.

love then just do what you do the best parent. she will get the idea that her opinion

is valued but not needed.

I say “thank you for your unsolicited advise, however I’m the mom, and what I say goes”

6 Likes

that works for you but that dnt work for me i will give it a try

If your husband won’t do it then you need to put her in her place NOW. YOU are the mother NOT her. Be a bitch if you have to but if you don’t put a stop to it it will only get worse.

I never had that problem with my mother in law. She’s the greatest

Put your foot down and give her one more chance to learn her boundaries. If she continues after that, I’d say she’s not allowed around for a while.

YOU are the parent. I respect that the others have raised children before, but you may raise your children differently. She’s the grandparent, not the parent. It is extremely unnecessary and inappropriate behavior.

3 Likes

Put a stop to it now! Don’t wait for your husband to do it. Shut it down or it will get worse!

2 Likes

I do hear what you are saying thank you very much for understanding this situation. walk away give a hug before you leave. blam in yo face have a good night bring pie next time or flowers when you visit to show appreciation. soon these things fade its a elders impulse to show interest in there grandchildren and spark the flare in the momma.

Stop allowing her over…
If you live with her move tf out…

3 Likes