My mother in law doesn't respect my wishes when it comes to my child: Thoughts?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. We have two kids, one I came into the relationship with. He took on the dad role & completely rock it! We had one of our own we were so excited because we both wanted a boy. We Never had an issue with his family, including his mom, but since I had my son, everything just switches up… I had his mom around the majority of my pregnancy and planned to have her here when we came home with the new addition. I just had some ground rules I expected everyone to follow, INCLUDING my family I said no kissing in the face. His body is okay (on top of his clothes). His mom completely ignores what I say and keeps kissing him, I keep reminding her, telling her I feel like you disrespect me, and it’s a slap in my face because my family not allowed to kiss him at all. She says she understands but KEEPS DOING IT!! I feel like a total b*ch to keep reminding her, as I can tell it bothers her. I tell my boyfriend he says he going to tell her something and he does it just keeps happening. Im just so frustrated and over it at this point idk what to do.

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I’d be super frustrated too. No advice on how to handle it just want you to know you’re not alone and it’s completely understandable to be upset by it. I’ve told relatives to just not come if they can’t respect what I’m saying about my child.

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Your baby your rules! You have attempted to tell her politely and have even reminded her. Now it’s time to firmly tell her that she will not be allowed to see her grandbaby until she can abide by YOUR rules.

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Tell her she doesn’t respect your wishes. She can’t come for a while until she respects you

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I get this tho
That’s how babies get sick
Some have gotten herpes from this

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Show her an infant that has died from getting hepatitis C or herpes. Show her what could happen to your child in what the repercussions could be and if she did still does not stop then it’s time for her to exit your life

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Can’t respect rules, can’t interact with baby.

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Your boyfriend needs to tell her if it’s his mom

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If she can’t respect it she doesn’t get to see him. Period. Stop taking him to see her until she listens

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Don’t let her hold him simple

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That’s how kids get measles mumps and rubella at young ages not to mention we are living through the covid apocalypse

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Boundaries are important. Consequences are also important if those boundaries are not respected. If she kisses his face, get up and remove him from her arms. Tell her what you are doing and why. Tell her she looses the right to hold him until she can respect your wishes.

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As a new gramma myself, I get the urge to kiss baby. However respecting parent wishes is a must!! Thankfully us grands are allowed back/top of head kisses, no face. But face kissing babies is not hygienic anyway so we are all good with it!! Definitely voice your concerns, and ask her to respect your choice. The other option is to stop visits because baby is small and covid is real.

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Is there a reason why you are not comfortable with it? Covid related? I’m only asking because I know grandparents absolutely adore their grandchildren. Kisses and snuggles! If they aren’t close family then it would be a huge no for me. Regardless, it is your child and you set the rules that need to be followed. I wish you the best!

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Pick battles wisely but if she can’t respect you then she doesn’t get to be included as much and if she wants to be even more disrespectful then she can be completely gone

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Yeah, she doesn’t forget, she just doesn’t care what you say when it comes to her grandbaby. Maybe she needs to stay away for a bit until she can learn some respect.

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Just two weeks ago our little community lost a baby by someone kissing him on the mouth.he was 8 days old.

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My ex MIL pinched my newborn baby to make her cry. I was livid

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You have to put your foot down or it will get worse. Next time she wants to come over tell her no because she doesn’t respect your boundaries about kissing. Or you can tell her she has to wear and keep a mask on from now on any time she visits. If she can’t follow those rules she can’t come. That’s that. Your child’s safety is more important than her feelings.

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Long before covid babies have gotten very sick and even died from lots of other illnesses from kissing. Doctor said top of head only!
Respect the rules or don’t see the children.

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