My mother in law expects to be waited on hand and foot when she comes to my house: Advice?

How do I deal with my MIL expecting to be waited on hand and foot at my house at all times? Every time we have them over she sits back, relaxes and waits to be called to the table for dinner. We prepare the food, set the table all while she sits back and watches. Once dinner is finished, she, again, sits back, plays with my daughter and allows us to clear her plate and do the dishes all without lifting a finger. I just don’t know how to get the point across that this is not a hotel and I would rather not host you at all than be treated this way. Send help!


Try asking her, if she could lend a hand and see the reaction. Few people don’t do anything because they are not asked to do. If this doesn’t work repeat the same in her house 🤷. Try to communicate to her that this behaviour is not welcome and she is not welcome. If this continues either you or your spouse will have a burn out of energy.


From the start tell her when you’re here help yourself to the food and drinks. Don’t beat around the bush tell or ask her for help! Or do the same shit at her house.


Wait, isn’t that what guests do?! Is she coming a lot or something? Once in a while?


All I can say is, you’re hosting. If this was at her house then yeah that’s a dick move but it’s your house, you’re the host. She should be at least offering to clear up yes I understand that part but at the same time, ask her to help you out. She’s come round for food, she’s not come round to be your cleaner.


Just ask her for assistance. Some women are the queen of their homes and prefer to do it themselves. Maybe she doesn’t think you want her help, I’m sure if you ask that she would be more than happy to help.


I don’t expect my MIL to do anything when she visits. She’s playing with your child. She’s being a Grandma. She raised your spouse. Maybe she deserves a break. Stop being petty.

I’m sorry but if my 4yo can clear his plate so can she :woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging:t3:

Just flat out tell her. Period…


As far as the meal preparation, having dinner and clean up is she the only one who doesn’t offer to help? She is your guest, but there is a limit to how much more I would do.


Oh ffs. You’re young, do the job at your house. She lived her life waiting on people (your husband) She’s your guest. Get over yourself and do the dishes have your husband help.


Did you invite her over? If so then she is the guest.


Does she wait on you at her house or do you help her?


She is your guest . Let her enjoy her grandchild. I’m glad I have a great relationship with my son in law

Does she visit a lot or once in a while? Because if the answer is once in a while honestly you should wait on her hand and foot. I would do the same for my mom. But if she’s visiting often I would say things like “everyone help themselves” and I would ask her to help with specific things if it bothers you that much. It may just be as simple as you communicating with her. I personally don’t like my MiL or mom to come over and feel like they have to do stuff. I want them to relax and spend time with their grandkids. If anyone is helping me get shit done and cleaning it’s going to be my husband.

What do you do when you go to her house??? Why can’t your husband help you with the dishes while his mother enjoys being a grandma?? If this is the only mil problem you have then you are very lucky!!!
I used to be the first one up and in the kitchen doing dishes and cleaning up because my in laws didn’t like me so I wasn’t going to give her anything to bitch about!!!

She’s a guest you shouldn’t expect her too help


That’s what i do when my husband’s parents come over, they are our guests, the one who help me is my husband but not them, they are old people already snd they are the parents of my husband snd the grandparents of my kids… i like to treat them right.

Ask your husband how his mom hosted things. She might think the host is supposed to do everything or she expects it as the mother to not be expected to help?


Firstly talk to her not put it on Facebook secondly be happy to have extended family involved in your life because many do not have that