My mother in law expects to be waited on hand and foot when she comes to my house: Advice?

Isn’t she there to visit and play with your child? I would never expect my MIL to clean up after we invited her to dinner.

At my house and in my family at anybody’s house my mom’s my aunt’s my cousin’s whoever we are at all the women always get up and help clean up the kitchen. Of course everybody takes their plate to the sink or the trash but as far as getting everything else cleaned up we all work together as a team. I think it depends on how you’re raised. Or maybe she just wanting to spend time with the grandkids? I like my dishwasher loaded a certain way so I would like it if my mother-in-law would sit down and play with the kids. I guess it’s all a preference. She won’t be on this Earth forever so I guess enjoy her while she’s here. Best of luck to you.

This… this is normal is it not? I dont do this at other peoples houses, like I’d watch their kids if their cooking or offer to help cook if they dont have kids. And I clean up my own plate afterwards. But at my house i just expect my guests to relax and then anything above that is just polite and helpful.

I’m sorry but all that u describe is my mom and she gets to be treated this way in my home and in my children’s home cause I taught them to do so. When she tries to help I let her know to please relax and don’t worry.

Sorry I don’t agree with everyone. Unfortunately I happen to have the hag of all mother-in-law‘s. My advice would be, if she wants something let her get up and get her damn self you’re not running a hotel she is not your child yes she’s a guest which will allow her to come and see your children but no you are not her slave and the sooner you let her know and put boundaries, the sooner she’ll get it. otherwise if you’re not gonna say anything be prepared to wait on her hand and foot until the day she dies

Wow that’s your mother in-law respect you elders, she has already done her part let that woman relax and feel comfortable in your home

That’s bull she is your mom in law and should not be lifting a hand what so ever she has been doing that her hole life to raise the man you married to today so stop being selfish and do your job as hostess and let her relax .

Be thankful she occupies your time with your daughter. If she doesn’t live near it is as much of a treat for her as you. I know it is hard to see but maybe let the dishes wait, order in, something to make it easier on everyone.

She may thing if she helps she is messing up your way of doing things and doesn’t want to offend or overstep your bounties.

As long as she’s not blatantly rude and disrespectful towards you then I don’t see a problem. Now if she’s a nightmare of a person to you and also expects extreme hospitality from you then I could justify being upset.

I don’t let my guests do anything. They’re guests for a reason. If they offer, its completely different. :woman_shrugging:

Why are you expecting a guest to do anything though? They should yes but they shouldn’t be expected to

When my mom would go over my married sisters house, she would do all the cooking, which I thought was appalling. My sister should not have let/made my mother do ANYTHING! It was disgraceful.

My question is how do you have someone over to your house for a meal then get upset that they don’t cook the meal and clean the dishes afterwards? Talking about “every time we have them over…” that means she’s a guest! It’s not her house! If you’re inviting her over expecting her to cook and clean you better be paying her the same as you would any personal chef and maid. Family or no family, if you have someone over to your house for a meal they are not obligated to do a thing. If they choose to help, that’s great, but they’re not wrong if they don’t. Smh.

If she’s company treat her like company… Would you put your friends to work when they come over…: and it’s not like she’s not helping at all you said she was playing with your daughter… A.k.a. her grandchild… No better babysitter than a grandparent

I feel like she’s doing what she should be doing. I don’t expect guests to do anything. Offer if they want.

Let her be. She is a quest, correct? Lol I do not even want my mother in law helping with that stuff anyway…it us is my house?

Well if you invited her over for the meal she shouldn’t be cooking or cleaning your house

Mothers and mil do so much,for their families, she should sit back ,if your a mother you really should understand this

I see nothing wrong with the Mil. When my children come for dinner I do not expect them to help. I want them to relax, enjoy each other’s company, and let me take care of them, same when I am invited to their home. My dear you need to calm down she is a guest in your home.