My mother in law is favoring my youngest over the oldest. Backstory. I have an 8-year-old from a previous relationship. We also have a new baby who is almost a year old. My mother in law is favoring the baby over my other son, and it is beginning to show. My husband has said stuff to her, but it is still ongoing. I don’t know what to do besides flip out myself. I refuse to let my other child see that he doesn’t count as much regardless. This is her first “blood” grandchild, but my parents 4th and they aren’t showing favoritism to any of them and treats them the same, but my mother in law is showing favoritism. Like I posted about how old my baby is turning, and my mother in law will turn around and post the same thing and tag us in it. But I slipped a few months, and so did she. I can post pictures of both children, but she will only comment on the ones with the baby involved. Any advice would be helpful because it’s to the point where I can’t stand being around my in-laws.
Really isn’t a way to fix that. She just may not feel connected and it’s certainly understandable, not all people are good enough to be able to take in different blood as their own. Sad for your son and family for sure. But he just needs to talk to her again.
Try talking to her but not much u can do bc ur youngest one after all is her first grandchild
Flip your shit. Not ok!!! Its not ok that she favors one, if she cant show them the same love then she shouldnt get time with either of them.
Maybe she needs to spend more one on one time with your son!
Good luck fixing it. It never gets better that I know of.
We have grandchildren…some are blood…some are not…none of them have a clue who is and who isnt…everyone is
I don’t see that getting better any time soon, unfortunately…it’s hard for the inlaws to accept blood thats not their own…but it can happen…just give it time, and have your son do little extras for your mother in law, like draw her pictures or asking her if she wants something to drink…those little things might start to make her see him in a different light…good luck
If talking doesn’t work maybe don’t include her as much. It’s hard because some see blood and that’s it. I lucked up my husbands family views my daughter as much there’s as they our son. In fact my husband now wrote vows to my daughter saying he wasn’t taking me away from her but accepting her into his family. You don’t want your son feeling less then or even replaced by the new baby.
Your mother is both of your children " blood" grandmother. His mother is only related to your oldest by marriage. Even though your husband accepts her as his own. Does not mean his mother has to.
Maybe you should flip out! That’s not okay at all. If your husband didn’t get the point across then you should. I hate people like that. Whether it’s her first blood grandchild should not matter. If your husband accepted him and treats him right then his family should too. I never understood how people could behave that way towards children. That’s the thing with men and their mothers. They fear being disrespectful even tho their mothers are WRONG!
Block her from seeing the post of just the baby… Only allow her to see things about both kids together. Don’t allow her to only take the baby, if she ask say y’all have plans. If she can’t include both then she doesn’t need any …
I have a child from a previous relationship and you’d never think my daughter wasn’t my fiance’s child at get togethers. His parents even say we have ten grandchildren. There is no step involved when talking of it and often takes my daughter and has even had her overnight.
On the other hand it could also be the excitement of finally being a grandmother and knowing baby can’t be taken, where if you and your SO split she would have a bound with a child she could never see and that does hurt more than people consider.
My step sons wife is dealing with this. His nana has said her other 2 kids are married into family and not really family. I raised him as my son. I consider her kids my grandkids. Right now I do more with the babies cause 2 take up alot of time. But I love the older too kids. But not every one can love all people like they should. Spend extra time with him and he will see who really cares for him
Honestly I think it’s probably because your oldest isn’t her grandchild. There’s a bond between a grandchild and grandparents, and with your oldest not being hers there is no bond. Yeah it’s sucks, but that’s my guess
She feels a connection with her biological grandchild it’s her first. Unless her son adopts your oldest it really isn’t her grandchild no matter how much you want them to be equal to her and biologically they arnt As long as she doesn’t treat your older child badly then there isn’t much you can do Your older child has its bio fathers family also.
I see both sides …its her 1st and you shouldn’t take that away from her. But in the eyes of a child they dont see or understand that. I would say something about it but honestly thats just deal with it
The only one from my husbands side of the family that REALLY acknowledges all of my kids (4 kids total 3 didn’t come from my husband) is my father in law. And fact is I’m okay with that. My brother in law and sister in law don’t ask about my other 3. My mother in law only really acknowledges the younger two.
At the end of the day I personally don’t care bc my brother and parents go above and beyond for all 4 of them.
My mil moved in and was doing this but they’re both blood , it got so bad my oldest asked us why his nan hates him so much . As soon as he said that my husband kicked her out and we haven’t talked to her since
Tell her she either treats them both equal or she sees none of them
Unfriend her on social media or restrict her. She will ask why and you explain why, if she wants to start showing favoritism of the children, she will have limited access. Once she stops showing the signs, she can have more access. Also explain that you understand that she is excited about the baby being her “first” grandchild but she does has another one grandchild who isn’t blood who is older and won’t understand. And that you are only protecting your child’s (mental) health