My mother in law is mad that we aren't buying her a gift this year: Advice?

So I need some advice. My husband and I hate Christmas because we get stressed out about what to buy family members. I started buying my MIL Christmas decor because she told me that’s what my husband always bought her growing up, and she loved it. I’d buy something of quality too. Pottery barn etc. Well, then, she seemed annoyed. She told me not to buy any more Christmas decor. So I took note that she liked massages and so I bought her a $130 gift certificate. As just a little bonus treat, I bought her some candy that she told me she loved. Then afterward, she tells me gift cards and gift certificates are not personal enough. One year my SIL and I got together and had all the grandkids take a nice photo together, and we had it put on a canvas. She said she didn’t know where she’d put it. She doesn’t like lotion or jewelry. She does like candles, but I already bought her six large Yankee candles last year, and I know she’ll say something negative about it again. As you can see, it’s making me so unhappy during the holidays, and my husband agrees that it’s ridiculous. So the other day when she brought up buying my husband a Christmas gift, (my husband had warned me that he had been thinking long and hard about Christmas this year and that he was putting his foot down and telling his family that we would just be buying for kids this year. I was so relieved. ) I just told her nicely what he said to say. That he’s just focusing on the kids and nobody but him or me anything, she was so mad she hung up on me. Then she calls me back and tells me how horrible my husband is for taking that away from a mother and that she will no longer be going on a cruise with us next year. That we’ve just cost her $250 in deposit $. Which isn’t even true. She hadn’t booked it yet as she forgot I’m the one that normally helps her book her cruises, and I logged on, and it was just on a 48 hr hold and not actually booked. There’s so much more to this story as far as the bigger picture goes. For example, she favors other grandkids over mine and not once comes to games or etc to mine. But calls me for things like booking cruises or looking at her call log on Verizon to look up a number she called. Silly mundane things that she could do herself, but is too lazy to do. I just feel like her relationships with people are one-sided, and I don’t know where to go from here. Now we aren’t speaking. All because she wants a gift? I don’t get it. Thanks in advance for any advice.


She sounds childish. Christmas isn’t even about gifts. Stick to your guns and only buy for the kids. She sounds like she will complain no matter what you do anyway so don’t stress about it.


If she’s that ungrateful, she doesn’t deserve a present anyways. Presents are about the thought, not the actual gift.


I wouldn’t buy her anything.

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Happy Holidays,enjoy the silence…selfish person…congrats to ur hubby for putting his foot down


I hate Christmas for this exact reason!!!

Presents should only be for the children as far as I’m concerned, but not many people agree


Out of spite I’d buy her a broom and tell her to enjoy her new ride. Lol


Get your kids to make something for her , if she complains say sorry you don’t seem to like the gifts I choose so I thought I would leave it to the kids this year :rofl:


Sounds similar to my MIL

Send her a belated “Christmas” gift from the cruise. :grimacing::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


Shes ungrateful so dont buy her not a dam thing!!


Give her an IOU. Then tell her when she decides what she’d llike without criticism then you’ll get her a gift.

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I would just enjoy the silence while it lasts and have a great holiday with my children.


Get her a big black vibrator… make her Christmas merry :smirk:


Good for you for putting your foot down. You shouldn’t feel obligated to get her anything. It’s about being together. She will get over it and enjoy the holidays.


Get her some pliers to pull the stick outta her ass

It sounds like the best gift of all is a little bit of a break from her. I m sorry you’re dealing with that, she sounds very hard to get along with. I would let the dust clear and then if your husband wants to speak to her I would probably let him take the lead on that since she is his mom. It really sounds like you and your husband have been trying to please her and nothing does, you can only feel bad for someone who is so miserable they can’t appreciate what they have right in front of them. She needs help and maybe some time to reflect on what she is missing without you doing all of her little tasks. Sending you positive vibes because it really sounds like you tried and tried and never got appreciated, I appreciate you! :grimacing:

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She sounds very childish and immature. We’ve started just buying gifts for the kids and then do a white elephant gift exchange for just the adults. Takes a huge financial burden off all of us and it’s fun to watch the kids enjoy themselves


We buy gifts for people under 18, the adults of the house hold do a treat exchange.
She is a real stooge and dosen’t sound like she deserves anything.
You should make her be a grown as woman and do her own mundane things.
Take care of you and yours

I think it’s pretty messed up and honestly I agree with your husband u took your time with ur gifts and she wants to put her nose up to everything you give her then she shouldn’t get anything at all! If she wants to petty that’s on her .