My mother in law is overbearing: Advice?

Does anyone else have an extremely overbearing MIL? Mind you; when i was pregnant, she never asked how I was up until the home stretch. She comes over every weekend, and as soon as she walks through the door, she says, “my baby!” Or “grandmas girl!”. Cant hold a conversation for one minute because she’s busy with baby talk or letting my baby touch all over her face that’s usually covered in makeup. It’s the same thing on Facebook. Any picture I posts, she comments the same stuff or posts it on her profile saying, “my baby” Am I wrong to be so annoyed by this???

50 Likes

Frankly yeah. At least she’s bothering.

6 Likes

Erm Yeah I’m slightly confused why you are annoyed, she loves her grandchild … seems to me that’s all she is guilty of?

7 Likes

Can’t we ALL :latin_cross: just get along , work with her , she is only human , like you :slight_smile:

2 Likes

Talk with her
Find a happy medium for all.
My MIL never gave a rats ass about me or my kids so be happy she wants to share and make memories
Plus later on you might need sometime and someone you trust to watch her on occasion

Grandmas are supposed to be annoying by being all about the babies, as long as she isn’t trying to tell you how to raise your child or going against your wishes I don’t see an issue. What’s wrong with your daughter having lots of love?

7 Likes

Yes. Enjoy yr mom in blink of eye she could be gone at least she loves you and yr child can show you list of ladies who wish thier mom gave a shit …get over yr self. Talk to her set boundaries

1 Like

It really bugs me when people say ‘my baby’ or something similar about my children, yes it’s lovely they and your mil make an effort but I find it weird and uncomfortable

She could be worse and not care at all

3 Likes

Yep, boundaries girl!! Mine now doesn’t come around and mine are soon to be 12 and 11 and they were around every week I swear.
I won’t take her calls and I won’t let my kids go over unless no other choice because she’s so ugly and toxic if she doesn’t get her way.
Don’t feel bad and stand your ground. There’s a diff with being a happy grandparent and wanting to help/be involved.

Unless she’s criticising your parenting skills I’d just chill and stop letting it wind you up.

1 Like

Sounds like you dont have a great relationship with her. I wish my in laws were more involved in my babies lives. My parents love my kids and call them grandmas or grandpas babies, and I love it. I wish we could have the same with my husbands parents. When you get annoyed just think about how lucky your baby is and how happy your baby will be when older that he or she has such a loving, involved grandparent.

I understand where your coming from. Ive been thru it with my Own mother. It’s like, we were only A Host for The Child and now, we are less than that So why bother? And when they do, it’s rather critical. If you value the relationship, communicate your issues. If you value your peace, shut that down and reestablish family time on Your terms. :sparkling_heart:

That’s not an overbearing mil. Believe me my ex mil is law was very overbearing saying if I ever got pregnant she is gonna be in the delivery room. We would watch a movie with her she would stare at us instead of the tv. She would say I wasnt aloud to close my bedroom door she was crazy.

Ah if thats the least of your worries you are fine honey. Its okay to be annoyed you have raging hormones just try to ignore it. At least she’s loving.

2 Likes

Yes, she is a normal grandmother who is happy to have a grandchild.

2 Likes

That doesn’t sound bad. Perhaps you’re annoyed that she is not acknowledging you as much as her grandchild and this happens. Grandmas adore their grandkids, so maybe you can try doing a bit of effort from your end by joining in. Add your comment to these fb posts, join in the baby talk when she is visiting and turn it all into some joking with her. Don’t hide.

Ehh relax and don’t take it personal…
First she’s the in-law… some are nicer than others, she’s not your real mom so she’s not going to be as vested in your personal well being as a birth mom would be… :woman_shrugging: sorry just a fact
Second be happy she’s totally in love with the baby,
It’s cool, some grandmas couldn’t give a shit about the grand kids
Count your blessings…
I’d probably be annoyed too, but the lady is family deal with it

And if she didn’t bother she would be all sorts.

Ask her to hang out at your house and give yourself a mani or pedicure. Then get her one too. She sounds like a good grandma. She cares about you guys and shows it by loving your baby. Appreciate her

3 Likes