My mother-in-law thinks I am keeping my child from her: Advice?

So My MIL swears I’m keeping my seven-month-old away from her on purpose, the problem is that she’s an essential worker and I don’t want to have my son around that, but now I’m the bad guy, and it goes back much further than that E.I: I specifically told My husband I didn’t want her in the hospital AT ALL after I gave birth because that was a very private moment for me and it was embarrassing he brought her in any way, fast forward to now as I stated I’m the bad guy because I’m not willing to risk my sons health. So any advice would be appreciated.

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Stick to your guns, she’s not the parent of your child.
She’ll get over it.
Maybe video chats for now, some sort of contact til this pandemic is over.
Stop re-explaining yourself to her. You don’t have to.

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Your mama stand your ground! Hopefully hubby respects your wishes and doesn’t sneak visits.

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Wasn’t this just posted a day or two ago?

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Pretty sure it’s your husbands kid too and he can allow whoever he wants to see that baby… I have never understood why women think they make all the rules when it comes to children, especially when the children have two involved parents.

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Just think of the child’s memories for his grandmother, who knows when people will be taken from our earth.

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Not wanting her in the room when you delivered is understandable. But, not wanting her at the hospital at all is another. That’s mean. I’m a grandmother and had they told me that I would have went anyway as well. It’s a special moment for grandparents too. As far as you not wanting your son around her right now I completely agree my daughter is a front line worker and it’s scary. They can have no symptoms and still spread it. Don’t back down. It’s your responsibility to keep your baby safe.

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Just simply let your nurse know you dont want visitors at that moments just for your baby own sakes safety due to cov19…and at hospital they probably not letting all visit like usual so this might had changed everything…I’m in same boat with all my 4 NO VISITORS till I get home with baby then yes…but not at hospital no lol

Honestly, I’d be furious with my husband. It is his child, too, and her family, but during your birth and recovery your wishes take precedence. As for parenting decisions, it sounds like he just hangs you out to dry to his mom, which isn’t impressive. It is your right to decide who does and doesn’t see your child, for whatever reason you see fit. She should especially understand if she’s an essential worker because she knows the risk she’s at, and it is selfish of her to think that time with him is more important than his health.

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Why are y’all posting the same things over and over again?

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So basically, the grandma wasn’t allowed to even be in the hospital when the baby was born. And COVID has been here since the first of the year pretty much. So, your baby doesn’t even know his grandma??? That’s pretty freaking sad. I see why hubby went against you. That’s called grandparent alienation. And in some states, illegal. She could actually take you to court for grandparent rights if it gets too bad.

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You should not risk the childs health obviously, but your relationship with your mother in law is quite important, especially if he is close to his mother. I would advise you to think about her position a little more.

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As long as she takes a shower after work and wears a mask I don’t see a problem with her seeing ur baby

Childbirth

With the new Covid 19 restrictions who’s allowed to be with the mother during childbirth?
Expectant mothers are allowed one (1) designated support person that is healthy.
Is my midwife allowed and my husband?
Whether you have a doctor or a midwife, he or she is your health care provider and you are still allowed your 1 designated support person.
Please note: Doulas will not be permitted in the hospital unless chosen as the designated support person by the patient.
Would my mom and my husband be allowed to switch back and forth as my designated support person?
You are allowed 1 designated support person for your entire hospital stay with no switching out. No other visitors will be permitted into the hospital. We also ask that you please plan ahead and bring everything to the hospital that the both of you will need for your entire stay to reduce the amount of times people come back and forth through the hospital.
What happens if my designated support person is sick/fails the screening?
They will not be permitted in the hospital. They will need to stay home and a healthy individual may be your support person.
What happens if I’m sick?
You will be cared for in isolation in the hospital.
Am I required to wear a mask while giving birth?
Yes. All staff, patients, and designated caregivers are now required to wear a mask while in hospital. If you are unable to keep your mask on while giving birth, your care team will need to apply additional personal protective equipment.

I would have been angry too. I don’t want to have people visiting me and baby at the hospital and only family and God parents of bub will be allowed to come see me and baby after we get home and we have settled down. Mt partner is respectful of my wishes and he has told people that upsetting me or bub will default to no contact to us until they prove themselves trustworthy again. Your husband should have been firm with his mother and tell her to wait until you and baby were home and settled. Everyone commenting “but she’s family. She’s the grandmother”. Yeah well she didn’t just push out a baby and bleeding and have a whole ton of emotions going through her body and head. I’m finding my pregnancy to be very emotional so I’m expecting birth and post natal to be equal or even more emotional. That MIL obviously didn’t care about the mother’s mental health. Only her own wants to see the baby before anyone else.

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This was literally copy and pasted from another mom group and the girl who posted it wasn’t anonymous either and it was about a few weeks ago :joy:

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Mother outlaw (that’s what they are - I have one of those myself) needs to learn her place. If she’s an essential worker, she’s putting that baby at risk. She should not be ANYWHERE near that baby. This is what Zoom and FaceTime are for.

As far as your husband goes, I have one just like him. He allowed his mom in the room with me and shot my blood pressure up. Mama’s boys do that. You should’ve laid down the law and he should’ve backed you up. Tell him he either falls in line and respects your wishes or don’t let the door hit his ass on the way out.

Be kind! Have a heart!

First babies we are so protective. The first time i had a baby sitter i was a mess the whole time i was gone. I can understand your fears. Its a health problem not a hate problem. Im 70 and my Grand daughter is having a child in July and i feel i shouldnt be near the baby and she will be my 5th Great Grandchild. I still stay home alot. I only go out to shop for food early, post office. I do feel its their decision. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions. If the reason is to protect the child from a lethal virus. I believe that is the rig ht of the parent to decide how to handle this. There are some good suggestions on the comments. Im sure you can come up with something between the 2 of you. Hang in there be strong.

Maybe do some FaceTime

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