My parents are dealing with health problems. They are divorced, and I’ve made the decision to move back home with my little family to be with the one whose health has really been struggling over the past year. Now the other is sick and in need of help, and I’m already stretched and worn out over the decline and rebound of one who I live with. I’m a wife and mother who is starting to struggle with it all now, taking on responsibility of both parents. I have other siblings, but they are in denial and have had an extremely hard time coming to terms that we’ve almost lost both parents. I’ve had to tell one parent I can’t handle everything and I need help but no matter how I explain to other siblings that they both need constant care and I’m about to run myself in the ground but I can’t do that to my kids and husband need me too. I’m so tired and wore down that my kids are now telling me to “go rest, mommy. Daddy said you need rest, I’ll hold you sleep.”My five year old shouldn’t have to say that to me. I’m lost at what to do.
Hire help in home care provider to take some of the load off during the day
Is it possible to get your parents a home health aide who can assist you with their care?
Go to Social Services and apply for help. Ask the doctor of your parents to give you something written saying they need in home care. Paying someone can cost thousands a month but if they qualify a home health agency can start coming in 4 hrs a day
Understand I have my father I too similar four siblings only one and I do all plus he has liver cyrosis final phase he gets mad aggressive I understand no great advise for either of us be strong and pray
I am a cna for over 40 years…love private care…would love to help out…
Apply for help. DSHS.
If your sibbilings aren’t willing to go there and physically help. They should be paying financially for help. Seriously. That’s Bull. Hire someone and they can help pay for it!
Sit down with your family and lay out in no uncertain terms what the reality is and what each can contribute what resources they could help you apply for, if they can cook, come on a certain day, etc. Are your parents on SSI and Medicare? There are services that they can apply for and your siblings can help you with that. If not, then you know where you stand with your family.
No kids but I did the same no family to help
So your siblings were upset that their parents were about to die yet cannot help you after they survived ? Something doesn’t sound right ?
Put them in the same nursing home then you can visit and go home
The greatest weight…is the emotions and trying to do what is right…You can’t be good to others,if you are Not good yourself…Obtain home care help,ask your Doctor…All the Best too You🙏
But they will all be there when their gone to see what they can get
I was in the same boat your in however I had a lot of help from family and it was alot of work and your doing it yourself. You go to thier.physision and tell him or her what’s going on thru sources homecare can be if need. U shouldn’t take this on yourself it’s way too much for one person. Good luck my dear
You may need to call in Hospice care
You can’t pour from an empty cup, you have to set boundaries and prioritize your health and family first. Your parents had more than one child, you shouldn’t sacrifice yourself and family.
Time to say enough. There are care givers. Social service, time to contact them.
There are programs to help depending on which state and insurance u have…check into those and see if a family member can give u a day off here and there. I know the feeling also
Oakley Place would take very good care of them. You should give them a call and take a break.
Tell your siblings to get off their lazy asses and get home for a visit so they can see how their parent’s are doing. If they can’t manage that then tell everyone you are going to hire help and they will be responsible for paying for that. I would NOT be shy in expressing to my siblings that you are NOT an only child and if they don’t step up and help while mom and dad are alive then they best not show up once they have passed!!! Go see an attorney and see what you can do. If your siblings won’t help now don’t expect help with funeral arrangements or payment. Get your folks to make you the executor of their wills and then you can determine which sibling, if any, gets anything!!!