My parents said they would take custody of my son if I tried working things out with my fiance: Advice?

No judging or bashing please, I’m 33 weeks pregnant and was having problems with my fiancé he drinks and comes home and yells at me and treats me bad. I have a 5-year-old, so I left and went to stay at my parents I told them this morning I wanted to work on my relationship and see if maybe we can fix it and they flipped out saying if I leave they will disown me and take me to court with my previous son to get custody because I went back. I’m under so much stress and caught in the middle of everyone. My fiancè swears he will work on himself but my mom who I’m close to said she won’t even come to my sprinkle and take my son I’m under so much stress due to this being my rainbow baby and a rough pregnancy, I’m so lost and depressed and don’t have anyone to turn to. Any suggestions, please no bashing I’m already beyond upset and being hard on myself.

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Unless you guys are unfit, your parents cannot take your child. It’s just empty threats to try to control you.

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Maybe your fiancé should work on himself BEFORE you try to make it work.

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What exactly does treat me bad include? Has he gotten physical with you? They can’t just take your child with no real merit behind it.

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Get you and your kids away from your parents first of all because what they’re threatening is just way more stress than you need to be dealing with and way too controlling of them smh

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Dont let them control you. They cant take your son unless you or your bf are u fit and neglectful. Call their bluff. Only IF you think you and your bf are stable. If not, dont take him back. Don’t ever choose a man over your children!!

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I’d have to agree with your mom here, you haven’t stated any positives about your fiancé here and that’s a sign

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You left for a reason. Going back into the same toxic environment with no plan of counseling to rectify the situation is not going the end well. The problems will not disappear, and adding another child into the situation with more stress is definitely cause for concern.

No, your parents can’t legally take your child. But it sounds like they have his best interests at heart, and are concerned for the well being of you both. Think long and hard.

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He drinks yells and treats you bad…hmmmm and you can’t figure out why your mom doesn’t want her grandchild around that?!? Need to worry more about a healthy environment for your kids instead of the D🤷🏼‍♀️

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Maybe you’re parents have better insight and knowledge and don’t want to see you or your children killed because stats don’t lie and that what usually happens in these situations and it sounds like they are just trying to avoid a catastrophe by trying to protect you now instead of waiting for that something to happen and have to step in anyway.
Sounds like they’re being actual parents to you :ok_hand:

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Choose your kids over an abusive relationship. They don’t change…will only say things to make you come back. Empty promises to control you. Kids come first and they don’t need to grow up seeing their mother being abused even if it’s only verbal. I agree with the parents. They are looking out for the best interest of the kids while your thinking about a man

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Try to work on it before you get together again. We’ve had the same threats and I still have all my kids. We’ve been together 4.5 years now.

Run from that man u can’t change him will it get worse and u will b more dependent on him ur parents love u and ur kids

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You dont go back to a guy like this. Let him fix himself first. Give him 6 months and if he did a complete 360 then maybe talk about getting together. I dont know why women thinks its ok to go back to a man over and over when he treats you like shit. If you go back to him now and he treats you the same, you deserve it. No crying or fussing after. You know what youre getting yourself into.

I hate to tell u this girl but I’ve been there. He won’t change on his own. And he will get worse. Throw that dude tf away.

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They can’t take your kid if he’s not in danger. My husband was an angry drunk. Tell your fiancé to go to counseling and stop drinking. Mime stopped drinking and it’s been a cake walk! Much happier. I know they’re tour parents but if you and your son aren’t in danger then don’t let them push you around.

I mean either way you shouldn’t go back. Let him prove himself before you do. :woman_shrugging: kinda side with your parents on this one.

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It’s generally not easy for a mom to lose custody of a child particularly to garland parents. So that probably doesn’t need to be a concern.

The bigger issue to me is the fact that your parents would threaten you with not just disowning you but to threaten your child. That is abuse right there and that relationship and dynamic needs evaluated as much as the one with your fiancé. What happens when you give in to them? What about the next time they want to dictate your life? How can you live and be close physically or emotionally to people who threaten you.

I can’t tell you what to do about the fiancé but i commend you for trying to resolve that relationship if you feel it’s safe for you, your son and your unborn to do so.

But I can advise you that you need to set some serious boundaries with your family. Your child and their relationship with you should never be a part of a bargain or threat.

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Your mom is right to be upset… it is one thing if you want to subject yourself to abuse, but kids don’t have a choice. It sounds like your mom wants to protect your son … and you too.

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Maybe your fiance needs some sort of alcohol counseling and to work on his anger issues with a counselor. Maybe when he can prove to your family and himself that he has changed and is treating his family like he should, he will begin to earn back some trust from you and your family. Don’t ever let him feel like any of this is your fault. You are dealing with alot right now momma! You got this, embrace your families help as they only want the best for you and babies . Make him do the work to prove he is worthy of being your hubby and a fit father . Remeber though the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and getting the same results. In other words don’t let him keep telling you things will change, force to see the change or walk away. Your better then letting a man treat you like garbage!

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