My partner doesn't let me see friends and tells me I do not contribute: Thoughts?

My partner and I and our three months old moved away to Australia, where I have no friends or family around, but the money was better for him as well as jobs. We have been here for a year now, the son is one, and I planned on going back to work but haven’t been lucky enough to be successful in interviews, etc. Since moving here, I had to become reliant on my partner’s income to support us as I had to leave my job, and once maternity leave and pay were finished, I no longer had an income. Since then, when my partner and I have arguments or disagreements, he will always bring up the fact that he supports our son and me and will say I’m useless and do nothing all day and just to get a job. I feel so low and like an absolute leech about it and regret ever leaving in the first place. As most of you will know being a SAHM is not doing nothing all day, cooking cleaning etc. So I do feel like I useless mother and partner. He works 30 hours a week and then will go to the gym for a couple of hours and come home leave his dirty clothes everywhere like a child after school and just sit on the couch and holler at me for food like I’m some slave, and I do know that for a lot of people this is normal, but at the same time, it’s absolutely draining especially when I don’t have any release. I don’t get time for myself. I don’t get to hang out with friends, and I can’t go shopping with my son for a decent amount of time before he starts getting bored and screaming. Recently I’ve started social marketing and have started making $600+ extra per week for us but still the same arguments and “get a job” “I pay for everything” when I’m clearly bringing in money to help out. This is so long, sorry, but I just don’t know what to do now. Also, he will go to the pub when he wants and will go hang with his friends from work and family that live here but will get mad if I want to leave our son with him to do the shopping. I just wanted to know what is right and wrong because I see so many people on here that say your life should be your son and your husband. Even though he’s yet to pop the question and I’m not sure he ever will tbh. I feel like an actual slave. Is this normal. Does anyone else have the same issue or have been through it?? My partner and I and our 3 month old moved away to Australia where I have no friends or family around but the money was better for him as well as jobs. We have been here for a year now, the son is one, and I planned on going back to work but haven’t been lucky enough to be successful in interviews, etc. Since moving here I had to become reliant on my partners income to support us as I had to leave my job and once maternity leave and pay was finished I no longer had an income. Since then, when my partner and I have arguments or disagreements, he will always bring up the fact that he supports our son and me and will say I’m useless and do nothing all day and just to get a job. I feel so low and like an absolute leech about it and regret ever leaving in the first place. As most of you will know being a SAHM is not doing nothing all day, cooking cleaning etc. So I do feel like I useless mother and partner. He works 30 hours a week and then will go to the gym for a couple of hours and come home leave his dirty clothes everywhere like a child after school and just sit on the couch and holler at me for food like I’m some slave, and I do know that for a lot of people this is normal, but at the same time, it’s absolutely draining especially when I don’t have any release. I don’t get time for myself. I don’t get to hang out with friends, and I can’t go shopping with my son for a decent amount of time before he starts getting bored and screaming. Recently I’ve started social marketing and have started making $600+ extra per week for us but still the same arguments and “get a job” “I pay for everything” when I’m clearly bringing in money to help out. This is so long, sorry, but I just don’t know what to do now. Also, he will go to the pub when he wants and will go hang with his friends from work and family that live here but will get mad if I want to leave our son with him to do the shopping. I just wanted to know what is right and wrong because I see so many people on here that say your life should be your son and your husband. Even though he’s yet to pop the question and I’m not sure he ever will tbh. I feel like an actual slave. Is this normal. Does anyone else have the same issue or have been through it??

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You’re obviously not stupid and know this is wrong. LEAVE

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Reread this and tell yourself what to do. Seems pretty obvious

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Even just go for a walk around your local supermarket with your child in his pram . SO many people will chat to you , as a baby appeals to everyone.
Take that day to NOT do anything at time & when your husband comes home & complains that you haven’t done anything . Tell him - well these are the things I do on a daily basis.
Also - if he can’t put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket - then don’t wash them…
See if there is a women’s centre where you live & see a counsellor there to get some help as well .

This os NOT relationship, a relationship is were you are a partnership on bothside were you say honey im going out please look after the kid he says" sure honey be safe" and owner ship is don’t you go out you can’t do this or that , and as Australian myself thats is a form of abuse, a from of domestic violence against women, and whats he doing behind you back? Go seek help mothers group which or playgroups in the area, you need a healthy environment, go seek right wear your child can not leave the country with him.

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Why the hell are you asking us? The answer is obvious hunni, leave. He doesn’t value you and sees you as he says.

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Save up airfare any way you can and get out. $27.40 a day is $10,000 in a year
Good luck

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You’re in an abusive relationship and need to leave

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Not normal no. He sounds like a narcissistic gaslighter. You sound well able to look after yourself and your son. Sounds like you earn well. Go live your best life. Don’t waste another minute.:pray::pray::pray:

Honestly…fuck him. He’s an abusive ass who aimed to isolate you and it worked. Get out with your son before it gets worse. Get ahold of your family, get tickets for you and your son and leave.

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It’s time to leave go back home and build a life for you and your son. If he’s raised in this atmosphere he will behave in this way as an adult.

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Get the hell out of there. Yes, you are a mum. But you are still human, and have a life to live yourself. Don’t let any man tell you what you can and can’t do, who you can and can’t see ect… You are you’re own person too… If you have to ask him to watch his own son, he was just a participating part on conceiving your little boy, he is no Dad!! Dad’s don’t babysit, they are the parent too… And if they don’t want to parent they should keep it in thier pants!!! Get out of there!! Ask you’re family for help, move away if need to. It will all seem whay too much to begin with,but will definitely be worth it in the end… You and you’re son will have a great time just the both of you, which seems to me already is, but this time will be without control, stress, put downs and hassle. Good luck x

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Not a healthy worth waiting for him to change relationship. Congrats on being able to use your skills and bring in some money but honestly, start banking some money away, dont tell him and not in a shared bank account, and leave with your child as soon as possible. Please dont marry this guy as the behavior will stay the same if not get much worse.

Honey he has isolated you, made you reliant on him and him only. He has made this very move specifically to make you feel exactly how you are right now. He is mentally and emotionally abusing you and no one deserves that. You deserve way more respect than this. You are the mother of his child. But more importantly you are human. Take the money you are making now save up leave his low down dirty ass and move back to your family. If he loves you he will follow if not… You do the math. Your child does not deserve to see their mother being treated this way. They will grow up thinking it is notmal to do others this way. Walk away. Focus on you and your kid

Girl! GIRLLLL. Listen to me PLEASE. I beg you. This man does not love you. He probably likes the idea of loving you but he DOES NOT love you. First of all, this is absolutely not normal behavior at all. You are nobody’s slave… Your obligation is your child, yes. Your marriage should represent teamwork respect and love. This man does not see you as part of his team. You are convenient for him and are allowing him to treat you this way by obeying him. Put your foot down and let him know this will not be tolerated anymore. He does not own you. He can NOT control you! Respect yourself and leave this “man” because he will never change. Save up the money you are making from network marketing and get the fuck out. Call a friend or fly back home. But this man will never change trust me. It is not your job to act like this guys mother. You do not need permission to do things for yourself. For him to make you feel this way is toxic. It’s Not love. A real man would support you emotionally and mentally and will let you have “me” time without making you feel guilty. Take care of your baby and get out.

Get out of there …go back to your family any person that doesn’t allow you to contact friends and family is not SAFE. To be around …they are narcisstic and all they do is control YOU …abuse will follow and the child will also start getting abused. Saw it to many times

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I’d say leave and go home but im not sure you can leave the country with your son without his father’s permission tbh.You can start by leaving the relationship though.Make a plan.You need to be able to financially support you both so start there.With your own income you can move forwards and remember leopards don’t change their spots!

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Get a job make your own money take your son and dump his sorry ass

The first thing abusers do is isolate their victims from their friends & family–from any support they have so that the abuser gets free reign to torment their victim who is pretty much trapped.

It’s easy for other people to say “Leave” but, not so easy to do. Especially if you truly love him. You say you’re making $600 a week and he works 30 hours a week, right? So, what’s stoping you from getting a sitter and going out for “your time when he’s working? Make friends, go shopping, go to the gym…whatever you’re in to. Go do it. On the other hand, if you don’t love him, if the love is gone then, yes…save for the flight back home.

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