My partner never compliments me: Advice?

My partner and I have been together for six years. We have two kids, a house, cars, dogs, the whole 9 yards. He is a really good guy; he doesn’t cheat, he works 40+ hours a week to take of us with minimal complaints. My biggest complaint is, he doesn’t compliment me. Never. I have brought it up to him a few times. We were arguing, and I was telling him I don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t see me as beautiful and make it a point to tell me. He said he would try to do that for me, but it’s been three weeks, I’ve dressed up at least ten times, and the closest I’ve gotten to a compliment is, “where do you think you’re going?” Am I making too big a deal about this? Is this normal behavior for men? He used to compliment me all the time before we made ourselves official. And I don’t expect him to compliment me when I’ve got my mom bun on, but when I spend two hours doing my hair and makeup and getting dressed up, id like something.

49 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner never compliments me: Advice?

It works both ways. Enough said.

2 Likes

Works both ways. Compliments are nice but shouldnt be a deal breaker. Love is more important than beauty and Compliments even though every once in a while it is nice to recieve.

7 Likes

I could dye my hair neon yellow and he wouldn’t notice. Some men just don’t. If that’s the only thing you’re lacking ide let it go

9 Likes

My hubby doesn’t always compliment me. At the best day maybe once a month he will say that’s a nice top lol. But I know he thinks I’m his world and we love each other dearly

4 Likes

It’s just most men not all but most

As a husband, he should compliment his wife. Hubby compliments me even when I look like sh*t.

5 Likes

Do you compliment him?

My husband thinks a suggestive eyebrow raise is a compliment :joy: but I know he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful. I think men have such a hard time expressing any kind of feelings that even compliments are hard to give.

3 Likes

Compliments may be your love language. We all feel loved in different ways. Let him know it’s how you feel loved and appreciated and see if that changes anything.
On a side note: people who laugh at these questions make me so sad.

11 Likes

My boyfriend is the same way. I’ve talked to him about it and he has tried here and there to toss a compliment in but for the most part I’ve had to just accept him for who he is. It’s disappointing but he has other good qualities that I try to focus on…

And as for “It works both ways” I complement him all the time… I would say I give him multiple complements per day even. It comes natural to me to say nice things… would love to have that in return but it doesn’t come naturally to him whatsoever. :unamused::woman_shrugging:t3:

5 Likes

I can relate. I think he should at least try considering it sounds like that’s your love language.

You ever compliment him? Ever show him any gratitude for what he does? I have been in this marriage game for almost 25 years. And to be honest I don’t care if he notices my make up and outfit or tells me I am pretty. I don’t do that for him. I do that for me. I want him to compliment me on the things I do for him. Tell me the meal I cooked was good, or that the house I cleaned all day while chasing our kids smells nice. I make myself look good when I have the time and I do it to make me feel better. I would much rather be complimented for being a good woman than for having my make up done. A woman who handles her business than a woman who spent all day putting paint on her face.

17 Likes

My husband is the same way. As dumb as it sounds, sometimes it hurts and that it feels like he doesn’t see me anymore. I know he loves me but sometimes I need to hear it and sometimes it doesn’t seem like he understand that. Sometimes I need that reassurance that he still wants me and sees me for other things besides sex. You’re not alone.

I would say in light of the fact that he used to do it clearly he knows how and he knows it’s important to you. I would work on compliments like Thank you for doing so much for our family. Or for working so hard. Or things other than attractiveness. Everyone has different love languages. Maybe his is acts of service? But I would work on your own self knowing that you are enough, that you are worthy, that you are a positive force in the world. Also some men withhold the thing you want because you want it. Try to not bring it up. Just do you. Appreciate him. Build him up. And I bet he responds positively

1 Like

Does he have to say it? Could it not be a hug, a kiss, a smile? I’ve been with my husband almost 30 years… once in a blue moon he tells me how beautiful I am etc. BUT I walk out in a pair of jeans and he’ll smile and smack my ass when I walk by. He’ll smile, wink, kiss my forehead, hug me, etc. Words are just that words, it’s the effort and action I take into consideration. Just my take on it… plus I’ve raised 6 boys, each and every one of them are different. Some are more effort, others more actions, and one that’s all words.

Some men have compliments women so much and gotten an eye roll or scoff because a girl is insecure. I’m guilty, I can’t take a compliment very well lol. My husband does so tell me sometimes or whistle etc but i try harder to accept it. If they’ve gotten the eye roll or giggle or whatever like you doubt yourself they may stop. He may Akari not want to do it right now considering you just talked about it. He may not want it to seem he’s ONLY doing it because you told him to. Like others said, it goes both ways as well.

1 Like

My husband doesn’t verbally compliment me either. He never has, not once. But I don’t need him to tell me I’m beautiful, he shows me I am. He does it daily… walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around me, smacking my butt, kissing my hand….all men have different love languages. My husband tells me he loves me often, but I’ve always told him that even if he didn’t say it, I know it because his actions show it. Is your husband affectionate? Because if you think of it that way, he shows you that you’re beautiful even if he doesn’t say it.

Compliments are like flowers, you should never have to ask for them from your partner. It should come naturally

4 Likes

My husband is the same.

Where do you think your going is a huge compliment in my house​:joy::joy:

16 Likes

You are right on key

I honestly didn’t read the whole thing because it seems very stupid that you complain about him not telling you how beautiful you are… I mean, do you tell him how handsome he is??
It looks like you’re rather struggle, have no money have no house or car or the commodity you have and rather live with a fuck boy who doesn’t have any aspirations in life but at least he would call you beautiful. GTFOH :rofl::rofl::rofl:

This is the worst feeling ever. Maybe start complimenting him. Give him what you want and see what happens.

2 Likes

That was a bit harsh way he puts it? WOW! Really what’s that supposed to mean by that trying get his attention notice you?

1 Like

If he used to do it, there’s no excuse why he shouldn’t now.

1 Like

Don’t worry. He may be like my husband, he never compliments me or any one else’s far as I know, but I think that’s the way he was raised. I love him anyhow. :heart_eyes_cat:

2 Likes

Can you sprinkle some of that my way? I don’t need to be complimented, I just want the rest of it.

8 Likes

If that’s your only issue, you guys are doing well. Compliment him too :relaxed:

3 Likes

My boyfriend doesnt always compliment me. He does sometimes but not most. I have my insecurities and let him know if I’m needy and he does everything I like. That’s way better than “you’re beautiful.”

I found out 99% white guys don’t know how, I have one like that.

3 Likes

Some guys just don’t :woman_shrugging:t2:
Try leading by example. Hide love notes in his wallet or car. Give him extra long hugs when he gets home from work. Rub his back or scratch his head at bedtime. Tell him how stinkin’ handsome you think he is. Grab his butt, and do a little dance.
I often find that I have more success with the men in my life when I first give a behavior that I am hoping/asking for. Do something to encourage the things you want. Goodluck :two_hearts:

To bad for him if he don’t as long as I feel good , I don’t worry to much about it .

Try talking to him when you’re not in an argument. Talk calmly and explain exactly how you feel, no beating around the bush. If he cares he will try more but I’ll be honest in saying if I was getting compliments because i asked and they feel obligated it wouldn’t feel like a compliment anymore either. I feel for you, yes we get dressed up to make ourselves look and feel good but it is nice to hear someone say you look nice

Where do you think you are going sounds like a compliment in disguise. He wont just say it maybe he feels insecure

1 Like

If you do not do it, do not expect the other to do so.

5 Likes

Your guy might have different reasons for not complimenting you. For one, it could mean that he isn’t thinking about complimenting you. He might be overlooking it or be too busy to say something. He may not think that these compliments are necessary, especially if you’ve been dating for a while.

First, talk to him about it. Second, when he does compliment you, don’t just say “oh, thanks” instead act so happy that he said something. Kiss him, love on him, talk about how it’s so sweet that he thinks you’re pretty, build him up for it, make him want to do it again…

Compliments are a natural way to booster your growing relationship and Create a deeper bond between both of you…

You don’t even have to think about it…they just happen.
When those compliments don’t flow like they used to, it hurts.
You start thinking ‘is he about to leave me?’ or ‘is he seeing someone else?’.

How do u know a guy is attracted to you?

  1. He’s always there for you. …

  2. He’s patient with you. …

  3. He seems happy when he’s around you. …

  4. He takes you out on unusual dates. …

  5. He brags about you to his friends.
    Alott of couples do not understand that
    THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP IS
    PROPER COMMUNICATION BETWEEN BOTH PARTNERS…
    U have got to talk an ask each other do not involve a counselar a relative or a friend to do the talking…

Both partners are adult enough to address a problem to each other directly when it Araises…
If both partners cannot
address a problem by communicating properly in a Calmly manner then that will be a DOWNFALL TO THERE RELATIONSHIP UNTIL IT COLLAPSES…

2 Likes

Sounds like you have a great man in all other areas your lucky most women don’t have these things in their men

If its not Gomez and Morticia tier why even bother? #dumphim
“Not all men”, you’re right, Gomez Addams would never do this .

4 Likes

Mine just doesn’t think about complements, never has.
We been together 23 years, all his good traights make up for the couple that bother me.

1 Like

Girl, Compliment him too if you don’t already! Start asking him how you look, get him back into the habit. (: :two_hearts:

2 Likes

My husband don’t compliment me that much unless I have little to no clothes on. Makes me feel kinda shitty but :woman_shrugging:t3:

My boyfriend of 12 years tells me all the time even when I haven’t brushed my hair or gotten dressed . He wants to kiss me all the time ect…

1 Like

Yeah mine doesn’t really either lol Last time I put jeans on to go out for dinner he asked why I was so dressed up :roll_eyes::joy:

5 Likes

Guys get comfortable and forget the little things matter, then again so do we. We also forget to remind our guys how much we appreciate all of the little things they do, and we should totally fuss over the big things even when expected such as your birthday or Christmas gifts when they remember. You guys have settled into a routine surprise him with the kids being gone with grandma or an aunt or uncle for a weekend (if possible) make the weekend about him show him you love and appreciate him, make a habit out of saying I appreciate _____ every day, ask him what he appreciates about you ask him if he likes your make-up or hair this way or that way, does he like this sexy outfit or that one. It is not that they stop thinking we are beautiful, they just forget that we need to be reminded they only see the strong woman who does it all taking care of them and the kids they forget the insecurities we all deal with.

3 Likes

He’s too comfortable. Once they know they got you they stop dating you.

2 Likes

Talk to him tell him how you feel . And trying complimenting him. Maybe than he’ll pick up on it . I definitely understand where your coming from . Compliments are nice to get . My husband compliments me , even when I’m in mom mode . Hair in bun and wearing my pjs . He likes that best . Says it’s natural. But maybe if you try talking to him calmly. And give him compliments. It might help for him to give you compliments.

I don’t really think about it. He does some times tell me that I am beautiful. And always saying something about my eyes. But I look at my life this way. He gets up every morning to make a living for me. Our kids are grown. He comes home to a cooked meal and helps me clean. I have COPD and bad back.So his actions show me what he doesn’t say. Good luck but if I were you I’d stop worrying.

3 Likes

Of course he complimented you before…
He has you now…lol…some guys just don’t express those things… doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking…he just says it in a different way

Tell him that I told you that my husband makes it a point to tell me at least once a day how gorgeous he thinks I am. And my husband is the homemaker right now due to the pandemic, yet he still tells me, when walk in from a long, sweaty shift, that he thinks that I am gorgeous. And he has a good sex life.

My husband doesn’t either , but he’s also the one that says he can’t imagine life without me … I dated a man that did compliment me all the time and thought I’d marry him until he broke up with me for someone else so I’m ok with it.

Ok
Your feelings are valid
Also this is a pretty typical cishet male thing
Also you may not be understanding what his love language is…like you wanna hear “damn girl get over here” eyebrow raise and he’s like she looks good so I’ll make her the bestest steak ever … These are both hypotheticals bc I don’t know either of you but I think it gets my point across.
We have the same problem over here so I’ve just started being like “are you gonna tell me I’m pretty or do I need to ugly cry to get your attention” …after a few times of that he really started picking up what I was laying down so to speak

Does they show love for you in other ways. I’ve learned that you can’t expect others to love the way we do. Or act the way we do. You have been with them for 6 years, what ya see is what ya get. Can’t change them.

1 Like

My bf compliments me all the time. BUT my mom says if he tells me I am beautiful he is lying. And guys who compliment you don’t love you. :hushed:

3 Likes

I will say this…my husband is the exact same way!! The perfect man in all areas except compliments and making me “feel special”…(I compliment him daily, all day) well it eventually got to me so bad and made me feel so unwanted that we took a break from each other! Well u know that saying u don’t know what u have until u lose it…yea that was me!!! I learned that not only can u not “make” someone change but everyone loves different from the next person, some people were also raised differently and I am perfectly ok with this now because at the end of the day my husband is the absolute best person he knows how to be!! :heart: He excepts me for me as I do him!! He is my world even with no compliments lol

7 Likes

This kind of issue is tough, I think you have to weigh the positive attributes of your husband against the minuses. Also, why you also need them to tell you anything you shouldn’t need anyone to tell how beautiful look, or smart, kind, sexy….and if he used to compliment you before marriage what’s changed? I also don’t like when you get dressed up. His response is where do you think your going? Sounds controlling, jealous and insecure?

I also get that,Where are you going😂Been together 35 years.

Why don’t you take off your shirt and “ go down on him.” ???
Finish yourself later and go back for more. It’ll lead to great things.

3 Likes

Yes you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. You admitted you have a man who doesn’t cheat, works hard for his family without complaint and you are upset he does f complement you? Let me ask you this. Do you complement him? Do you give him a simple complement like “ Thank you for working so hard for our family. I really appreciate all you do” or how about maybe doing a little something special for him. Like just out of the blue get him his favorite snack and drink, just because and show him that you care in those ways. It’s a two way street. You also need to complement and chase him too. It’s not a one way street. And stop and think he maybe complementing you in different ways and you are not noticing. On his way home from work does he pick up dinner without asking because he knows you may have had a busy day? Does he bring YOU you mr favorite snack or just bring you home a drink on his way bone from work. It sounds like you have a good man. Causing an argument over something insignificant is just silly IMO.

4 Likes

17 yes together here & he won’t say I’m beautiful either. Yet he can text other women telling them how Beautiful they are. They even get good morning texts. All I get is a peck & see ya later.

5 Likes

I think you have every right to be upset. Your feelings are valid. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t cheat, works hard, etc. Everyone has a love language and it sounds like part of yours aren’t being met. I would just try to talk to him about it again.

2 Likes

Sounds like he has a different love language than you…words and affirmations are important to you, but maybe not to him. It does make the way he loves better or worse than the way you show love…his way is just different. I also believe love languages change sometimes, so maybe he was better before about using words, but now his is more in his actions (acts of service or touch or quality time)…for some people they show love with gifts.

3 Likes

Everyone has different love languages and it sounds like yours is words of affirmation look up five love languages. And then figure out which one is his and which was is yours. But you prolly know yours. Than talk about it and show love the way each other receive it. He’s prolly showing you love his way which might be acts of service
My hubby is acts of service and gifts he does stuff for me works hard to support our family of 5 but my love language is quality time and touch. So if he doesn’t touch me or spend time with me I don’t feel love even though he’s so loving me by all the stuff he does for me and gets me my favorite treats and makes me yummy food. But I know out languages so it’s cool. Best of luck.

Mean while my boyfriend drives me insane with compliments… You just need to be upfront with him and communicate your needs

2 Likes

Sounds like your love language is words of affirmation and his is act of service or quality time.

3 Likes

It’s hard feeling unappreciated, talk to him we either grow together or we grow apart. My ex and I did not grow together and I tried lingerie, date nights I really mean everything but sitting on his face till he couldn’t breathe. I had to leave the kids deserve to see a happy mother. We’re the kids and I haven’t been happier :heart: good luck :four_leaf_clover: be honest and try to build but if there’s nothing to build on them it’s probably time to move on to build and be happy

I had an ex who complimented me all the time but he didn’t work, beat me, stole my money and cheated. Actions speak louder than words

13 Likes

Try to communicate with him when you’re calm.

Have you seen the single men around atm.

1 Like

Maybe his love language isn’t affection, mine isn’t. The guy does everything else right but you don’t verbally get the attention you want but he works, no cheating, I wouldn’t push the issue

I thought I had the only man that was like that. Lol Mines never complimented me either. I don’t recall him ever telling me I looked good or that I was beautiful. I know he loves me. I know he’s attracted to me. I know he would never cheat. I dont put much thought in it. All people are just raised different I guess. Pick your battles. Feel secure and look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Ha. If things in the bedroom aren’t suffering…he thinks ur attractive. :lips:

2 Likes

Grow tf up. Do you go and compliment him over the little things? No?
But you expect him to when you yourself choose to waste 2 whole effin hours prettying yourself?
You really wanna throw all this away because he doesnt compliment you? Do it. He’ll find someone else who will whole heartedly love adores him. Not not leave over something so tiny and small.
Probably trying to find any possible reason to leave??? My only guess

6 Likes

If that’s the only problem you should not sweat it so much. He seems to be a good man. You’re lucky to have him. I seen a couple who the husband don’t work stays home makes knives. So he’s not trying to support his family. Your problem is nothing compared to some men . Pray and ask God .He’ll always show us what we should do. He’s probably going to tell you to compliment him more if it’s something you want more of. I don’t know that’s usually the way He tells me. Give to your husband what you are wanting.

Same. It’s not uncommon.

Learn about love languages. My man does not and will not say he loves you lol but like I know he does bc he takes really good care of the kids and me and shows it in many other ways

2 Likes

Maybe its not his love language🤷‍♀️ looks like he does an awful lot for you/your family and doesnt seem like a shit man

Men find complimenting tedious all the time.He is faithful and good to you.He stays true to you.He notices you look drop dead gorgeous and asks "Where are you going to!"THAT SAYS IT ALL.
Do you want to be complimented all the time?REALLY?How boring!!!
You know you look faboulous!
If you get dressed like a tramp then he will definitely notice…
Let him be !!!
HE IS A KEEPER!!!

You have that right to feel how u feel and want what u want. If you want compliments, that’s what u want. You shouldnt have to want anything different. A lot of comments they are saying they are okay with that. Well you’re not and that’s fine. He needs to understand your wants and needs. Period!

I understand being upset and a little hurt, anyone would feel that way to a degree, but I also feel like we shouldn’t need to depend so heavily on reassurance from our partners. It’s part of maintaining our independence.

I would love to hear compliments from my fiance. But I’m realizing his love language is touch. When I’m doing the dishes and he slaps my ass, or when I’m just on the couch and he’ll come lay with me. In his sleep, he’ll rub my back or rub my head. Those are things that he does to show love for me. But I also don’t compliment him either. Do you ever give him any compliments??

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner never compliments me: Advice?

This Is a sad thing to say but gurl just be Thankful he’s paying bills and not out In the streets cheating & complimenting some gutter rat. If he’s with you you know you look good to him If he wasn’t attracted to your looks he wouldn’t be with you so hold on to that thought.

20 Likes

Honestly same. My man does not compliment me. I stopped the whole “dressed to impress” act and focused more on me and my babes needs while still obviously making sure he was taken care of. About 2 weeks ago after months of me looking like an absolute slob. He asked me if I wanted to go get a hair cut and my nails done. So I did. Then got my eye brows done. I made myself look bomb annd he was all over me when he saw. I think sometimes although we are supposed to be forcoused on our selves we do forget other people’s love language. Manis faithful. Doesn’t even look at other girls (in front of me). He is literally a family man and has been since we got together he just didn’t know it yet. And he’s not good at saying what he feels so what he does is how he shows his love. Maybe try a different pov!! Steady trying to understand a mind this isn’t mine.

1 Like

I’ve been living with my partner for nearly 3 months now and it feels like im his sister the way he treats me but we still have our romantic moments. Consider how busy he is with work and how he might be feeling. Has he gone through anything stressful recently? Does he have a lot on his mind? Have you been mentioning changes big or small with him? Sometimes this can freak the guy out and he’ll go into his hermit shell.

It seems like you all speak two different love languages. You are entitled to want to be complimented by your partner. Unfortunately, men have to sometimes hear something more than one time. Approach him calmly and really tell him how it makes you feel.

Sometimes guys sucks with actual compliments. Maybe that’s just not his love language. Are there other ways he says I love you or compliments you without actually saying it? Maybe he feels like he doesn’t want to compliment the wrong thing or use the wrong words and make you feel bad so he doesn’t. Maybe he’s feeling a bit run down and over exerted and just isn’t really paying attention to things that like. See if he needs help with anything or see if he wants to be complimented sometimes as well.

I agree with Jerry’s comment. Just because you’ve been together six years doesn’t give him the pass to not make you feel like you are desired by him and beautiful. I’ve been with my husband 11 years and he knows life is short and I won’t stand by and not feel wanted by him. I’m not being extra but I like when my man makes me feel like I’m the only woman he desires and that he finds me beautiful. I know some man don’t know how to flirt or whatever but as his wife you deserve to be complimented and shown you are his queen. Explain to him how much it means to you. I think sometimes men and woman both forget that we all have needs and as your husband or wife we should want to at least try to meet those needs. That’s how marriages fail in my opinion. If one is not getting the attention needed from their spouse, someone else will be there trying to show that attention and that is where things get messy. This goes for both sides of a marriage… make it a point to always remind them how much they are wanted and loved.

4 Likes

He should be complimenting you more. I’ve gained weight and feel ugly and still my husband compliments me. And vice versa. Seems like y’all just have different love languages and stressors, etc. keep the lines of communication open. Let him know you dress for him. Don’t give up.

5 Likes

Makes me sad :disappointed:

My hubby compliments me daily! I would honestly hate it if he didn’t :disappointed:

I’m 67,he’s 53, I’m a 5’4 latina,he’s 6’2 , crystal blue eyes white guy…he compliments me every single day…tells me he loves me several times a day…holds my hand every single opportunity he gets…opens doors for me…refuses to let me carry bags inside…plus he likes to clean house too!!..but your husband also has his priorities straight also…dont be disappointed, he telling you he loves n cares for you in his way…give him some slack.

My husband sucks at this too, but I’ve just learned to let it go, because we all have different love languages! My language is vocal, while my husbands is doing things, like working and helping around the house, and occasionally buying me things he knows I’ll like! I’d rather him be more verbal, but that’s just now who he is :woman_shrugging:t2:

2 Likes

Dang seeing these comments makes me happy I have the man I have. We celebrated our 9 yr anniversary last month and just had our 4th baby together 2 months ago but I have 1 from a previous relationship so 5 kids all together and he still compliments me all the time and makes me feel attractive. He’s always touching me and desiring me. But every man is different and their love language is. Him saying "Where do you think you’re going?"can be interpreted as a compliment. If he’s a good man overall and is faithful I wouldn’t put too much thought into it cuz you’re just gonna make yourself unhappy. He can’t make you feel beautiful. You have to feel beautiful on your own. If you know you look and feel good that’s all that matters.

1 Like

I feel the same way, there’s zero romance in my marriage. I feel like he’s just a roommate, haven’t been intimate in months and when there is it’s very disappointing and not sexy at all.

1 Like

Both of you should read The Five Love Languages. It will help you understand how the other expresses love and what the other needs as expressions of love.

I tried something to remedy this and it worked… marvelously. One night I fucked his brains out, I mean red shoe diary, raunchy, freak in the sheets kinda way!! I ain’t put it on him that way since before our first kid and it showed. Next day, he called me all day and on his lunch break, he brought home a bag of cherries because those are my fav, and complimented the dinner I made him. The following week was alot better, he seemed happier and that week was sprinkled with compliments and just because gifts! Second week it had lessened, and by the third week we’d had sex but it wasn’t like that first night. His attitude was good, but I could tell he wanted that kinda treatment more often. So I found that putting the fire back in our bedroom helped him do all those extra small things that I craved, which in turn led me to do all those naughty things he missed from me. This may not work for your relationship, but maybe it’ll give you ideas as to what you can do to help him feel good about himself and thus want the same for you? Js

1 Like

3 questions: Do you compliment him? Why do you need the compliments? Did he compliment you before y’all got married!

2 Likes

I have no advice for this sadly that’s just how alot of men are… They feel like once they have you they don’t have to try anymore

I bet if you got naked he would be complimenting you

2 Likes

Compliment him more, and maybe he’ll start doing the same?

1 Like

Try giving him ass. He will appreciate it