I have never experienced such, but I do have an idea. For the kid(s) that got left out of getting a gift from that family, buy him/them something really cool, wrap it up, and then tell the kid it’s from those people. Don’t let any of the kids know some presents are “from a different source.” Then have all the kids, both “real gift receivers” and “fake”, write and send Thank You notes. Imagine how the stingy, petty people will feel to receive beautiful Thank Yous for something they did NOT do. If they ask about it later, say, “We just couldn’t have this little kid think someone doesn’t like him because of who his parents are not.” Betcha they’ll WAKE UP!
Your partner needs to speak up to his family.I was in a similar situation and I told him make a choice me or your family.Now everything is ok and we buy for our 5 kids and grand kids., But he needs to take a stand against his family.
Kind of weird, but I have experienced the opposite situation. We went out of our way to treat our son’s girlfriend’s daughter as part of our family from day 1 & we have been treated like the worst people in the world. Some people just have no souls. Shame on them for their immature behavior towards an innocent child
Had a similar situation many years ago with my MIL…I had 2 children when we met, we had a daughter. My husband never treated the kids different…but his Mom? "My granddaughter, my granddaughter…my husband set her straight! All or nothing… package deal!
Unfortunately, it must have been a generational thing…my dad’s folks always, ALWAYS introduced me as "this is Donna’s daughter Jodie, and Bill and Donna’s girls, Kim and Luann. Never forgot that…stay strong and love her… regardless…
You can’t do anything. If nobody in his family likes you what you have to say won’t matter. It has to come from your SO, and he needs to mean it. Your stepdaughter is still just a baby, she only knows what she’s told she has no opinions of her own yet, don’t take it personal but it’s clear her mama is still not over your SO. There’s no mention of how long you have been together, or how old your son is, or if he sees his dad, and his dad’s family, all that stuff. I’d have different suggestions based on different answers to those questions, and without that info I feel like I can’t properly suggest anything. What’s good for a 1 year old, won’t work for a 10 year old. If youve been together for 4 years, it’s different than 6 months. I just think there’s a lot to factor in for situations like this. Whatever happens do what’s right for your entire family, all 4 of you good luck
I can’t understand adults who behave this way. My son and his former gf have a 6 yr old daughter. Her mom is now married to a man with a 10 yr old daughter and they have 2 younger children together. My son is now engaged to a woman that has a 3 yr old and together they have a 4 month old son. Guess who now has SIX grandchildren? Two are mine biologically but all of them are mine because they are related to my granddaughter or my grandson. I couldn’t imagine showing favoritism to one child over another. It only hurts all of them. Including the “favored” child when they are old enough to realize their siblings are being treated so poorly.
Hopefully your SO will realize this and say something to his parents.
Send the gifts back, tell them if they can’t buy for both, they can’t buy for just one. They are supposed to be family and excluding a child is harmful.
Adults need to grow up. These are kids and they each deserve gifts. Your partner should tell them
This is a very hard situation honestly speaking I had my husband address it but after that issue always came another. Right now we just dealt with my sons first birthday and his mom since she lives with 3 grandchildren with a 4th on the way always say she does not want to come over to get a break from the grand kids. I explained that if she did not come that I would consider that her not wanting to be in our child’s life. Its her fault that her daughter is having so many babies and sticking her with them. Not mines my parents were there and his dad traveled 5 hours to attend. My husband backed me up. I will say it’s tiring and heart breaking. Personally I want to be done with their crap. I’m weighting out right now is it worth it. On the present issue you could send them back or hold them for the child’s birthday.
I have the same issue with my partner’s family. I have 4 boys from a previous marriage, and his family on both sides ( mom& stepdad & stepmom & dad) never include my kids, only the one we have together. But my deceased husband’s family includes the baby in everything! It irritates me as well and he calls all 5 boys HIS boys. He’s even talked about adopting my youngest and letting him keep his father’s name. So my partner doesn’t feel the exclusion of the other kids, now granted they are older, and there is a lot! But a card with their names on it wouldn’t kill anyone! They don’t have to spend a penny.
Your partner needs to put his family in their place. Children have nothing to do with what’s going on between adults. He needs to return all those gifts back to whomever sent them and make the message clear. All or none. If he can’t do that then that’s all you really need to know.
My exes family sucked and they even got my daughter presents every year. Now my mother in law has zero hesitation to buy for my kids, who are teenagers and I had them long before I met her son. They are her grandchildren now and she loves them. I would be livid!
Your partner needs to be the one to send the gifts back and calls each and explain that this will not be tolerated. They will be treated equal or they are going to be cut out.
It is ultimately his family. His mom. His dad, etc. HE needs to talk w them. You said they already don’t care for you so confronting them as to why they didn’t buy your children a gift, isn’t going to make things better. Should his family treat your child as their own if ya’llare in a relationship? Yes. Can you force them to if they don’t? No. Some people are that way whether or not you like it. Your child from another man and you aren’t their blood relative. I know that shouldn’t have anything to do with it, but to them, it does.
You don’t fix it. Your partner fixes it. It’s up to them. If they won’t, then it’s not worth staying in that relationship because that’s how you will always be treated… and your child.
We come from a mixed family & I have 2 & he has 2 one blood and one that he’s taken care of her whole life, both families have bought for all and some haven’t even met my kids yet. I truly don’t understand how people can act like that
I couldn’t imagine being in your shoes. My husbands family always buys my kids something (even before we had a kid of our own). His aunt also buys my kids something and other members of his family. (Even ones that have only met my kids once because my inlaws live in a different state). I would be hurt if they excluded my kids just because they’re not my husbands, he loves them like his own so I feel like his family should too. I wish I had better advice or the right words to say.
You send the gifts back and your partner needs to stand up for you and your child. If not, their behaviors will continue. What you allow will continue. HE has to set the boundaries with his family.
First off your partner needs to focus on his partner and the kids or that partner is no different then the rest of them
You don’t approach, it’s your partner who needs to tell his family a thing or two. Have you guys discussed these issues? If so did they agree or was it a fight? Honestly he should have nipped this in the ass from the get go!