My sister found out she can't have kids and now I feel guilty when I mention mine: Advice?

Okay, mamas, I need some serious advice. So I have a son and baby #2 on the way. (My husband and I were trying). Well, I have an older sister whom I’m very closer, she’s my best friend. She is not married and has no kids yet. She just found out that there is a very high chance she may never be able to have kids. It breaks my heart, watching her have to go through this. She loves my son (her nephew) more than anything. And she’s very happy about our baby on the way, but I can tell she’s also sad. She did tell me once it kinda makes her sad, but she doesn’t want to take away from me being happy. But now I always catch myself talking about being a mom or how I can’t wait for the baby, and it makes me feel terrible. Like I know, I should be happy, and I am, but at the same time, I feel guilty for feeling happy and talking about it, knowing she may not get to experience having her own kids. Has anyone been through this? Or does anyone have some advice? Cause I’m so lost on what I should do.

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Maybe be a surrogate for her?

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You shouldn’t have to hide your excitement. I know it’s hard. Maybe you can try to  involve her somehow? Maybe let her be in the delivery room?

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if you dont wanna be a surrogate mother then share your babies with her she a aunt maybe make her a god mom :purple_heart:

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I agree be her surrogate

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She’s probably in a state of grieving. Don’t stop sharing with her, I’m sure she still wants to hear you’re experiences. If you’re already close she will be an amazing aunt and once the sting dulls a little she will be ready to look into other way to become a mom.

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Honey that’s your sister! She’s gonna be happy for you and love you just the same. My sister can’t have kids either because of the medication she’s been on all her life and she absolutely LOVES my children. She loves hearing about them. She loves having them around! Those are her babies :heart_eyes::heart_eyes: and in my heart I know that God blessed me with children but equally blessed me with a sister who could love and share them with me and not feel something is missing from her life because she does have babies they just happen to call her Auntie.

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Have an honest talk with her and tell her how you feel and let her tell you how she feels. I know both my husband and I were told we would never have kids and now we have two. You never k ow what the future has in store but you can’t take away from the excitement of today.

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Why dont you offer to be her surrogate?? Im sure that would mean the world to her. :two_hearts:

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I’ve been in her shoes I do have 2 little boys now but it was very very for me to get and keep my pregnancies. If shes anything similar to me yes she will be heart broken but she will still love to her about baby number 2 from you and live them all just the same!

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I know it’s your sister but you shouldn’t hide your excitement because it makes her sad. She’ll have one some day even if she adopts. You be happy for you and yours.

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I’ve been that sister on the other end. it is heartbreaking. but there is nothing in the world I loved more then my nieces and nephews and the excitement of them coming into the world and being able to help any way I could. I have since been blessed with 2 babies in 19 months. but everyone’s story is different. you are a good sister for thinking of her. maybe just ben honest with her that you are thinking of the entire situation. being a surrogate would be a huge huge decision. that’s deffinitly something to not take lightly.

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If you don’t mind me asking, what is the reasoning she may not be able to have kids?
I was told by doctors when I was younger due to my bad endometriosis I wouldn’t be able to have kids.
But years later I’m currently pregnant with baby #3.
In a way they were right TMI warning
I can only conceive if I’d have sex during a period week, if without protection an during any week not on my period I can’t conceive.

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You could carry a baby for her and it would be cheaper than her looking for a surrogate in the future

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She can’t foster? adopt?

Totally, be a surrogate for her in time. Discuss with your husband and when you are sure that you can do this, you and your husband together tell her. I would so do this for my sister. I have read where a mom did it for her daughter, a bit riskier due to age, but went well. I have read many times of sisters & sisters in law being surrogates for each other successful. In the mean time enjoy your pregnancy, it’s not fair on your baby if you don’t as babies are in tune to your emotions. Good luck to all of you. :green_heart::four_leaf_clover::shamrock:

Find out with her one of the issues and you can carry a baby for her

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Don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault she can’t have kids

Sounds rough but you are married and have one child and one on the way BE HAPPY you have little ones dont deny yourself that. Your sister isnt married hasn’t really TRIED HARD to get pregnant yet. There is always a chance and if not by birth there are other ways to become a mom if thats what she really wants. You deserve to be happy in mother hood also.

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I would involve her as much as possible and let her make decisions and choose stuff for the baby

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