"My sister-in-law is constantly posting stuff on Facebook in groups that are directly targeting me, my hubby, and my parents-in-law.
They are really horrible and nasty things, from judging our parenting to just plain old she wished she never had to see us again, yet she continues to play nice to our faces.
I don’t know if she posts them thinking we don’t see them because we aren’t apart of the same groups or not. But my question is, do I call her out? Or do I keep the peace?"
RELATED QUESTION: My Sister-in-Law Doesn’t Like Me and Actively Ignores Me: Advice?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“I wouldn’t even call her out. She doesn’t want to see you again? So stop talking to her and don’t invite her over. Just leave her new and go about your life.”
“Screenshot everything to get proof then call her out on those posts and in person, also send the screenshots to all members of the family in a group message with her.”
“I simply would say, ‘heeyyyyy. Saw your post on… I’m sorry you feel that way.’ That’s it. No more, don’t talk with her about it if she wants to, don’t get crappy. You called her out and kept the peace.”
“I would call her out because that isn’t right. My boyfriend’s dad’s girlfriend would talk about me behind my back and I eventually called her out on it. She would act nice to my face, but I would hear her call me names and I was tired of it. It’s better to stick up for yourself. Just because she’s family doesn’t give her the right to do that. I had to learn to stick up for myself and not let people talk about me.”
“Yeah, I’d definitely comment on the posts. Nothing crazy just a, ‘Heyyy, I didn’t know we were in the same group… and apparently, you didn’t either.’”
“Don’t get sucked into the drama at all. She’ll just feed off of it. The best “revenge” is to be super happy regardless of what she’s got going on. It’s not about you. She is the one with obvious self-esteem issues. Sad as it may be, she has to decide for herself how she’s going to deal with them.”
“‘I don’t know if she posts them thinking we don’t see them because we aren’t apart of the same groups or not.’ Which one of her groups did you join? Or who did you send someone else into her group to bring back intel? Red flag. Obviously, if she posted it on her Facebook you’d see it and she’d expect you to so obviously it’s being posted in groups. I’m with the sister in law. I mean she’s seeking advice online about her crazy family and you’re seeking advice about her online…it’s a family tradition. Go online and don’t talk to each other. Have a gif duel. Winner takes all."
“Just comment on the post. ‘You know we can see this, right?’ If it continues, unfriend and stop spending time with her. You don’t need that.”
“Does your partner know about this? Your husband is the one that needs to call her out. If he doesn’t want to, stop talking to her. She doesn’t need to know about yalls life. Stop telling her things about yalls life. I wouldn’t cut an aunt out of the kids life, but it’s also what you are willing to deal with. Your husband needs to stand up for your family, even if it’s against the family he grew up in. Take screenshots of everything you’ve seen so you have the proof. She’ll probably delete things as soon as one of you says something so then his/your family won’t believe you.”
“You should absolutely call her out, every single time.”
“Call her out. She’s a bully. Take screenshots first, so you have solid proof. I’m petty though, so I would screenshot everything and wait until the next time the family is together and she’s being all nice to everyone’s face… THEN I would call her out… with my proof.”
“I guess my question is, are you 100% positive that the posts are about you, or are you reading too much into it, or could the posts be true and it’s ruffling your feathers?”
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