My Sister-in-Law Doesn't Like Me and Actively Ignores Me: Advice?

QUESTION:

"My husband and I have a 21-month-old daughter, and we live with his parents and siblings. I get along fairly well w everyone here… except his sister. Let’s call her Jan.

Jan and I got along pretty well when my hubby and I got married three years ago. However, I’ve noticed little by little, that has deteriorated. Right now, she won’t talk to me; she won’t look at me, won’t even sit at the same table as me. And I get dirty looks CONSTANTLY.

And yet she always gives attention and love to my daughter, has conversations with my husband, but for me? It’s like I’m not even there. But this eats away at me because I literally did nothing wrong. And it always feels so awkward… help."

RELATED QUESTION: Do You Get Along with Your Sister-in-Law?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“What does your husband say about the situation. I feel like he needs to talk to her and say at the end of the day, you’re his wife and the mother of his child and she will respect you. And if she has a problem she’s more than welcome to air it out now. I feel like he should be the mediator in all this. But make sure he’s on your side as he should be as your husband.”

“Sounds like too many people under one roof. There really isn’t a lot of info given. What is home life like? Do you help out with household chores? Cooking? Clean up after yourselves? I would say talk to her; communicate. Be glad that she loves and gives attention to your daughter.”

“Time to move out and move on. She probably doesn’t like you guys living there. Let her have her turf.”

“Maybe ask her what her problem is and go from there?”

“It sounds like you both need to be adults and talk to each other. Ask her what’s up. You have no way of knowing unless you do. You’re not a mind reader. Neither is she.”

“I’d ask her outright. Maybe she feels you aren’t helping enough or maybe someone said something. Best to ask outright.”

“Hmm… my thoughts personally, it seems like maybe your husband has said something about you to her OR you may have done something harmless but she didn’t take it that way, hence why you may not recall it. Communication is key in all relationships, just ask her. Might be awkward living with someone and not speaking to them. If it’s possible, I say it’s a good time to move out.”

“Maybe she’s one of those people who think you aren’t good enough to be part of her family or maybe she’s just plain jealous of you. It happens. Not everyone can be adult-like. Especially in today’s society.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

17 Likes

Just ask her what the problem is

5 Likes

Have you considered talking to her about it?

1 Like

You should ask to have a sit down.

2 Likes

What does your husband say about the situation. I feel like he needs to talk to her and say at the end of the day your his wife and the mother of his child and she will respect you. And if she has a problem she’s more than welcome to air it out now. I feel like he should be the mediator in all this. But make sure he’s on your side as he should be as your husband.

16 Likes

Get your own place away from that drama

15 Likes

Something happened to sour her on you. Two sides to a story

9 Likes

Hmmmm… Sounds like something is going on… I would tell her you feel like there is tension and you don’t know why but you want to be on good terms and have a happy environment for your kid… If she continues to act childish I would start saving up to move out.

Maybe ask her what’s going on? Or just ask if she feels like you’ve done something for things to change

Used to be the same with my kids fathers family. Was good at first then little by little it was always something. Get your own place honey. I know in times like this it’s hard, but it does help to get out there and get the process going.

Time to move out and move on. She probably doesn’t like you guys living there. Let her have her turf.

5 Likes

Not healthy for your child to see that treatment of you.

Sounds weird… maybe she’s jealous for some reason?

Maybe she doesnt like that a grown married woman with a 2 year old is still living at home with her boyfriends family

14 Likes

Just ask her right out if you did something that offended her

1 Like

Personally I would just get my shit and get out, but idk. That’s just me.

Grow up and get your own place

9 Likes

Move out, easy solution

7 Likes

I’d ask her what’s up.

1 Like

Maybe ask her what her problem is and go from there?

4 Likes