My sisters husband has never accepted my nephew: Advice?

My daughter is getting married soon, and my sister, her husband, and her son are invited. She also has an older son, whom the dad has custody of (my sister has always chosen her husband over her son, she’s not really in her nephew’s life) My daughter n my nephew love each other very much, so do I like if he was my son, and he is also a groomsman…the issue is that his dad and his family will also attend. His dad has been my best friend since before my nephew was born (he’s 17, and his dad n my sister met thru me) I have always looked out for my nephew, and he loves me like a mom because my sister doesn’t care too much about him and she also has not been in our lives a lot. She always chooses her husband over us, including our mom. Well, she’s doing it again! Her husband has never accepted my nephew, even though my sister and her husband have been together for 15 years. That’s why she’s never really around my nephew, but she doesn’t want her husband to get mad. When she does visit, he goes with her and with a long face and only allows her a few minutes n then tells her it’s enough time. My nephew has never been allowed in her house except once, and he ended up being kicked out because he was playing w his brother’s toys. So now my sister says if only my nephew goes, it’s ok but not his dad or his family. She said that if they go, she won’t. My daughter wants both families to go, but if she had to choose, she chooses her cousin and his family. She loves them very much and sees how wrong her aunt is, but my sister is trying to guilt-trip her into how she and her family are more important… it’s her son and his dad! How are we supposed to tell my nephew it’s ok for him to come but not his family? I don’t think it’s right. I don’t wanna lose my sister, but I know what she’s doing is not right…at least that’s what I believe?

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You worded this so weird. Making it hard to even understand who is who. 🤦🏻

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It’s terrible to be put in this situation. If you have to choose…choose the people you are closest to. The ones that will make the wedding more enjoyable

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Bottom line its your daughters wedding she can invite who ever she wants there Your sister has no say in the matter.

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Its your daughter’s wedding have her invite everyone she wants to and if some choose not to attend that’s on them, and don’t discuss the guest list with anyone other than the wedding party because they are the only people that matter in this scenario

What’s the dilemma?? I couldn’t understand any of it :woman_facepalming:t5:

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Your sister is a grown adult and this is NOT her wedding. The nephew is a groomsman so he deserves to be there. If she is making demands than she needs to stay home. It sounds like she is selfish and only thinks of her immediate family. Don’t make this a big deal because that will take away from the wedding. Give tour daughter the day she deserves and dont worry about people who wouldn’t do the same for you. Good luck!

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You had lost me by the second line ! Literally no clue what is going on - but hope you get it all sorted !

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Its your daughters wedding. Dont let people guilt you onto what they want on her day. Of she wants her cousin and his dad then invite them. If your sister doesnt approve oh well.

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Its your daughters wedding not your sisters. Its about your daughter and her soon to be husband and what they want. The hell with everyone else.

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Idk how it’s confusing, it’s all pretty clear lol. Let your daughter have who she wants. If your sister wants to be a little baby about it, tell her that’s fine, don’t come. You’re calmer than me, had that been my family member, I would have blown up on them. It is about your daughter not them. Your sister and her husband don’t have to sit near her own son and his dad. That’s really fucking sad honestly. I feel for your nephew.

It’s your daughters wedding she should invite who she wants. If people don’t come it’s up to them. However… To be honest I would be pissed if my brother when getting married invited my ex and was close to my ex. I wouldn’t make a stink but I wouldn’t be close with my brother or go to his wedding. Your sister is remarried and honestly probley stays away cause you are best friends with her ex. As I would stay away as well. Your suppose to be her family not his. And I can see where her husband would be up set as well. It’s hurtful.

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Choose your nephew and his dad. His mother and her husband are not good people. Your nephew has had enough pain in his life. It’s not fair. I would choose him and his dad. Dont let your sister also have control over you and your daughter’s do’s and don’ts. They’re obviously very selfish, egocentric, and toxic people.

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This is your daughter’s day. Instead of feeding into the drama I’d lay out the framework like this one time and one time only - Everyone your daughter WANTS to be there is invited. PERIOD. It is HER day, HER decision. It’s not up for discussion as it’s really not anyone else’s business who’s on the guest list. This isn’t a social gathering for everyone else. This is a day to celebrate your daughter and her husband’s love. Whoever decides not to show up, it’s on them and it will show exactly what’s more important to them. Is it your daughter and celebrating her happiness? Or is it drama?

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Invite them ALL and who comes comes and who dont dont.

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If someone doesn’t want to go to a wedding because of who is invited then they can choose not to go. Your sister is super childish for making demands at her nieces wedding and selfish for not even being a big part of her sons life. This so called brother in law doesn’t care about your family and even with 15 years to get to know y’all and accept your nephew he still hasn’t so he can just keep your sister away. Stop accommodating your sisters husband. They can either accept everything or just not be apart of family functions.

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Let them all come and if your sister can’t do that she’ll just have to not come because it seems to me that your nephew and his family care more about you than your sister family

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Tell her too keep her ass at home💁🏾‍♀️

Fuck your sister. What a bitch. She chooses her husband over her kid? Why are YOU still talking to her. AND your daughter would rather her cousins dads fam? How is this a question?

Your sister and her husband sound like terrible people. Have your nephew and his dad’s family at the wedding and tell your sister to suck it up. She made the situation and now she is paying the consequences.

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