My SO doesn't want our daughter having makeup or any technology: Advice?

Just wondering what other mums in my position would do - I have a seven-year-old daughter who has asked for kids makeup, nail varnishes, and technology for Christmas, all of which I am fine with, although her dad is pretty strict and would rather she didn’t have those items. He likes to encourage more hands-on imaginative play such as Sylvanian Families, Barbies, etc… and claims technology just makes a child numb to what’s going on around them, has an attitude, and makes them wanna grow up too fast and explore dangerous platforms such as TikTok, etc. The makeup issue is kinda the same where he would rather she didn’t have it as it’s encouraging the behavior to get dressed up and focus on her looks and trying to change herself etc. and he would rather her be natural, but I see it differently as playing and experimenting and don’t see the harm in her enjoying makeup as I wear it? We have countless arguments over if I allow her to use my phone or tablet to watch YouTube and play games etc, and I have to admit sometimes I allow her to use these for some peace and quiet. Can I also add her dad doesn’t have a smartphone nor Facebook or social media either because he finds it so damaging to individuals and thinks people only show what they want others to see and not the reality? Now, knowing the background, would you go ahead and buy the makeup, nail varnishes, and technology for her or respect dad’s wishes and not? We all live together so its not a case of when she’s at mine I parent her one way and when she’s at his he parents his way.

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My daughter is 3 and plays with kids make up :woman_shrugging:t3: and she has a kids tablet that has a ton of educational games on it.

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Y’all need to find a happy medium between the two. Unfortunately I can’t say because my son is 10 and has access to electronics but there should be a medium y’all can come too!

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you can limit everything she does on technology by monitoring the device! it’s that simple. sheltering her will lead to much bigger things later in her teenage years! make up is not a huge deal either, if he is that strict, then leave it for home use only to play. do not let her wear it out of the house

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I mean, I agree with him on the technology. Im not allowing mini to have tablets/smart phones unless absolutely necessary. The makeup and nail stuff i would get. I dont see that as her focusing on her looks, I see it as her developing a sense of style. Its girlie and something she can bond with other girls over. Its also a healthy form of expression as well. It doesnt have to be vain. It can be taught and utilized as a form of expression as well as a confidence booster.

Both of you need to learn to compromise. Actively disrespecting his wishes is not the answer.

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I’m with your husband

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I would go ahead and get it for her. Maybe y’all could try talking and come to an agreement about it. She’s young she needs to have fun. And the tablet can be very educational for her. It helped my 3 year old and 5 year old a lot.

I wouod say no, and i agree with Dad. Not that it makes kids dumb, but it’s not something they really need and the hands on learning is alot better. I have a 12,10,8,4. Now they do have tablets are are extremely limited to time on the weekends, whioe my husband and I do have game systems they do not have access, and they do not have cell phones. They dont need them.

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Is she a human or a belonging? Let her be a person

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Don’t do anything that her Dad is not ok with. She will know then that she played you against each other like that .
Talk to him first and come to a mutual conclusion. She can have one or the other maybe. Or only inside the house or you can come up with many solutions to make you all happy but don’t do or get anything that breaks her dad’s decision.
She must know that you are both in the same team.
Maybe little makeup play kit will do or a tablet with educational games. Talk to your partner.

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Get her the stuff, moderation is key, sheltering her will 100% lead her into trying all the things shes not allowed in potentially dangerous situations when shes older…

I feel like there needs to be some kind of compromise. My kids don’t get personal technology. I only recently got our oldest son an OLLLD iPod for kids stories as he struggles to sleep so he has special headphones that he can wear in bed and listen to stories and block out his siblings. Other than that they have nothing personal. They want to watch something, its on the TV where everyone can see. And if it’s inappropriate for the whole lounge, then it’s inappropriate for them so doesn’t get watched. Because honestly, I kinda agree with your hubby that they don’t really need it at that age.

As for the make-up I personally see no harm. Kids make-up washes off so easy. We started with nail polish. My 9yo has SO much. She barely wears it though. As for make-up, she only asks to use it when she plays dress up. And honestly if everything is withheld strictly, that may backfire in the future for him if she becomes obsessed with the item she could never have.

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You and your SO need to come to an agreement both of you are comfortable with on when to allow these things for your daughter. Going against his clearly strong wishes is just disrespectful and a recipe for relationship trouble.
While she’s certainly at the age where she shouldn’t need anything fancy for technology, I think a kids tablet is a great start. You can limit and monitor her on that pretty easily. She doesn’t need a phone at her age, but a kid’s tablet with restrictions will help her start to learn to use technology, as she’ll need to do as she ages. She’s way too young to be worrying about being on social media, so that shouldn’t be an issue.
I think play makeup is fine-in the house. Part of playing pretend or dress up! I wouldn’t personally allow makeup out of the house until she’s much older.

The technology I understand. I am picky with my son being on technology. I’ve been to birthday parties where no one was in the jumper with my son because the kids were glued to the iPads or whatever they had. The kids makeup I cannot offer any advice because I never had kids makeup and idk how I feel about it. The nail polishes for kids he’s over exaggerating. I had some and they were so cool. They would come off easily without any remover. I had some that you can scratch off easily.
Good luck! Hope y’all can work it out!

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If she doesn’t have some technology she will be left behind in school compared to other kids. A bit of kids make up is normal for a girl her age. Use it as a teaching opportunity to show her how to wear makeup, less is more kinda thing. Just my opinions. I am a mother of grown children, so I do have some insight and experience in this.

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Maybe just do the little things like nail polish and clear lip gloss? and as far as technically just let her have screen time on the weekends that’s what I do with my kids.

I agree with dad and kind of shocked a wife/mother would ask social media if she should disrespect her husband over makeup and tech for a seven year old… he’s not wrong about it… especially social media and tech… his wife literally asked the internet if she should go against what he thinks is age appropriate for a seven year old :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I wish my husband was the same way.
I agree 100% with your husband.
Kids don’t need electronics, and a 7 year old little girl doesn’t need make up.

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I dont love my kids having a ton of technology. The comprise in my house was “active video games” that we could all play together like just dance. As for the makeup shes gonna want to play, find a compromise like yes to lipgloss and nail polish no to real makeup