My SO never gets me anything for birthdays or holidays. I feel unappreciated: Advice?

So my SO & I have been together for 4 years. Have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter, and I’m currently 6+ month’s pregnant. We live an hour away from anyone we know. I’m a STHM; I take care of our daughter. I take care of the house. I do it all 24/7. I got no license, no car. I go nowhere except to the store once a week. In the last 4 year’s we have been together, I go out and get him a little something as a present, for his birthday or holidays, He hasn’t gotten me anything for my birthday or holidays in the past 4 year’s. Not that is matters, but it would just be nice to get something besides flowers and chocolate, and the only time I get that is if he feels bad or we argue if that. So maybe once or twice a year. He ain’t romantic at all. His thinking of romantic is him telling me, oh be naked in bed when I get home from work.We never go out on a date night’s anymore since we had had our daughter 2 years ago. We have been out together just the two of us once in the last two years, and that is only because I planned it. He has planned for us to go out, just the two of us over ten times since our daughter was born, but there is always an excuse, or he would start an argument with me that end up us not doing anything. Kinda joking around with him I said ya know you still owe me a date night and then all I get back is, ya well you still owe me stuff too…It just sucks to feel unappreciated, and I need some romance in my life. The first 1-2 years of our relationship was great, fun, romantic. Once we had our daughter, that all went away. And I understand things will change when you have children. I have changed my whole life for my daughter, and I love her to pieces.

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I would maybe hint you want something. If that didn’t work over the years simply communicate that with him. Maybe finances are not good? Maybe you never expressed to him if it matters or not? Cause I’ve seen men ask their woman what do they want and then hit them with the “nothing” so nothing they get. Men are very direct with things like that.

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You said in the beginning that he’s always been like this, then at the end say in the beginning he was fun and romantic. Like if you knew he was this way from the get go then you just need to get over it. But if he actually was romantic and fun the talk to him.

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It’s pretty sad how many posts are about feeling unappreciated cause of not receiving gifts on holidays. Does your significant other not doing anything throughout the year to make you feel appreciated?! Bringing in the groceries so you dont have to?..starting your car on a cold day?..filling your gas tank?..I’d rather a flower on a random Tuesday than gifts on a holiday that people feel obligated to buy.

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Sounds very miserable I couldn’t imagine being solely dependent on a man & it seem he have u locked away sounds to me like he is cheating just simply the way he is treating u my advice after u have the baby strategize your exit plan even if he is not cheating I wouldn’t stick around for that type of treatment u deserve better

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I’m not a gifts type of person, so I personally dont care if my spouse buys me stuff, or takes me places. I’m also a sahm, no license, and my husband works 12 hours a day 5 days a week. You need to communicate with him. If he doesnt resolve the issue or the answer isnt what you want then you have two solutions; leave or work through it. My husband and I have known each other and loved each other since we were 12. We got back together when we were 18, and we are 25 now. After as many years as we have been together, we dont really treat holidays or date nights like they are a huge deal. I’ve lost so many people in my life, and while having some items they’ve gifted me are nice, I really wish I could have one more holiday with them. I guess I’m a homebody and i guess i value experiences more than items, and that’s why i dont get upset. But you’re not me, you’re yourself and you have to think of you over everything else. Your child isnt being cared for completely if you arent happy and healthy. If your husband is treating you badly ontop of all of those issues, then that’s a different story, but ultimately communication, listening, and honesty are the only way to resolve marital issues.

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Some guys just don’t get it…who cares who planned what who cares if the kids come to or don’t come with. Plan something , movie, zoo, walk in the park whatever and just go. If he makes an excuse go have fun without him. And I would strongly suggest you get a car and liscene so you can do what you want when you want. You can’t wait around you need to live now.

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Solution…get your license, get a car…and get out and do stuff. Meet other moms and have a life.
Stop getting him stuff too.

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Honestly there are lots of women who can’t even get a guy to commit, so yea I find this post extra :roll_eyes:

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Order your own presents off amazon? And maybe get a drivers license so you can go places especially when your daughter starts school.

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First of all, get your license. No reason you shouldn’t have it.

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Time to leave sweetie. If you are treated less than a queen he doesn’t deserve you. He will never change. You need to go and get a fresh start. Focus on your children and I promise Mr. Right is out there waiting for you.

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All the people saying leave :roll_eyes: cause how dare he provide for her and take care of his family

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Been with my husband 9years , he has never planned anything and has never been a planner… he also doesn’t buy me anything I just say I’m buying this for myself 💁🏻 but I knew this since day 1 … it sounds like your man as been the same since you guys started so not sure why now you’d think a guy would change Bc men don’t get it… now you’re probably going stir crazy if I were you , I’d go out and get my license first off. Then find a babysitter and plan a night for you and the hubs! Don’t dwell so much and expect a guy to get it they don’t think the same as us! Life gets crazy with a kid just have to figure it out…

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Easy stop buying for him!!! It goes both ways

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Who cares? Aren’t there more important things to do with your money and time then worry about if so.eones going to buy you crap?

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I tell my husband exactly what I want, and where to buy it. I’ve learned that just expecting something wont cut it. Some people get foggy when it comes to get giving and it becomes stressful. Just be direct. If he STILL doesnt get you anything then just dont buy him stuff and spend that money on yourself instead

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First… learn how to drive and get ur damn license ,no one but urself knows how u feel,no one is a mind reader…change ur life to the way u want it to be ,or get out…ur grown,start acting like it

Be honest with him. Tell him calmly how you feel and why. Open communication is so very important.

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Stop buying things for him. If you stay with him he will never change or get you anything.

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