Not exactly mom related, but I need help and cannot ask on my own page. Sorry for such a long post. Mine SO is withholding our second vehicle from me driving it. Technically, the vehicle is in his name, so it is legally his not mine even though I drove it for almost two years and maintained it. 2 years ago, SO purchased a newer vehicle because he was tired of driving his work van. This was weird to me because he rarely drove his work van. He’s a couch potato and rarely leaves the house on his time off. As far as his work van, he owns the company, so no issues with driving a company vehicle. Anyway, I agreed to pay money towards the payment, which at the time I thought was fair as I would be driving it daily. I stopped six months ago. I mentioned to SO 2 times since last week that there was a scraping under the car. (He is a mechanic). The first time he said he would look at it. He never did. Tuesday, I noticed the scraping had gotten much worse. I told him again. He muttered an “ok.” Now I am not in a financial position to take this car to a dealership, nor do I know anyone that can look at it. I honestly didn’t know what else to do. I figured I would get him to drive it this weekend by having him go out with me. Then he would know something was wrong. Well, this morning, I mention the scraping again and how I was afraid that my daughter and I were going to die, and he totally flips. He yells at me that whenever I hear scraping in a car that I am to stop driving immediately and call him. I told him that I told him two times, and he repeated that I am to stop the vehicle immediately. He is blaming the whole situation on me. The car nears rear brakes on one side. He said it’s my fault. I know it’s now. Here’s the tricky part. He is insisting on driving my daughter and me 30 mins away to her school and another 20 to my work in the car needing brakes. Instead of letting me drive the other perfectly running vehicle to take my daughter to school and myself to work. The vehicle I drove for two years. He would take the car to his shop and replace the brakes providing the pads and rotors show up on Monday. This makes no sense to me, especially since I will be leaving work at 4:30, and his shop closes at 5:00. My daughter has to be picked up by 5:30. Tomorrow I would like to go to my mother’s with my daughter for some peace of mind, and he won’t let me take the other vehicle. Now I have an excellent driving record. Is this a form of control? Spousal abuse? Mental illness? (He is undiagnosed bipolar with psychosis). Why won’t he let me drive the 2nd vehicle, which is two years older than the vehicle I drive? Makes no sense to me?
That’s weird. Did he stop his meds
Hmm have you asked him why??
It’s just a car. God, you dumb females will do whatever it takes to try n say a man’s abusing you also, you aren’t helpless. Learn how to fix your own brakes
You aren’t married, you have no legal ground to his assets. Buy your own car and ditch the dude.
I’d tell him I’m taking it, grab the keys, and go to work.
I wouldn’t even tell him I’m taking the car 🤷 just get the keys and take your daughter to school and go to work.
That’s very strange. It doesn’t make any sense to me either.
Tell him to fuck off and move on!
Its a control thing. If you helped pay for it you’re allowed to drive it. Tell him take the other one
Check the car… he might be hiding something… no insurance or panties idk
Put a tracking device on it may not be a healthy decision so may maybe just come out and ask him what’s the problem! Keep your titanium overies together and be strong firm and rationally reasonable with his response
Buy your own car. Undiagnosed mental issues? Are you a doctor? Stop acting like one. You can’t diagnose a person
Sounds like he doesn’t trust you driving anymore! Might be scared youl damage that car? Atleast offered to drop u off and pick u up.
The car is in his name, nuff said.
If you told him about it and he had no reaction, and then you told him about it and he flipped out, that sounds like bipolar + ADHD, unless he was experiencing symptoms of psychosis at the time (or just regularly), which would be distracting like ADHD. If you asked to use the other car and he said no, he will drive you, but only these places… that’s just weird. Did you ask why you can’t just take the working car until he fixes the other one? If his answer is dodging… I mean, it could be mental illness. It could be he has a “bad feeling” or some auditory or visual hallucination is causing him to feel some kind of way about it. I mean, if he doesn’t always manage himself well, or there’s been any change in stress level or in his life or routine… this can’t be the firs time he’s acted weird or off around you. The mental illness you stated is no joke. People with those problems are capable of unpredictable extremely dangerous behavior. This can’t be news.
This is a form of control. You said you wanted to go to your moms for peace of mind…GO!
Now, me personally…I would take the car and date him to do something stupid, I’m petty and I retaliate
I’m sorry but what the hell is an SO?
Sounds like something is being hidden. Otherwise this makes NO sense at all. Why would he be ok having you and your child be put in danger? Fishy fishy!
I would sit down and ask him why you cant take the second car, especially since completely changing everyone’s schedule can get inconvenient. My SO and I have had that happen plenty of times with getting cars fixed or buying a new car and sharing one. Especially stressful when we were on opposite shifts, plus baby being added is just a whole extra component. If he says he doesn’t want you to drive, put a down payment on a car and get it in your name if you can afford to, even something cheap but reliable. You can’t be forced to abide by his actions when you have a job, life, and child to handle.