Hi. My son is 12. My exhubs and I have an excellent co-parenting relationship even after he moved 4 & 1/2 hours away nine years ago. My son expressed to me that he wants to move there and just told his father last night idk how I feel about it, besides being resentful to my son and angry. Any advice?
Have you asked why? It may have nothing to do with you. It could be something at school.
You cant be resentful towards your son for wanting to live with his father.
Well if you’re just feeling anger and resentment towards him no wonder he wants to go. Get over yourself and find out why you child would like to live elsewhere. Then let him go, because if you don’t he’ll resent you too.
An open honest conversation with both your son and his father is where it needs to start.
It’s natural for a boy to want to be with his dad during these years… if you can bare it, and his father is a good role model. It will be good for him. Children tend to model after the same sex parent.
Oh hun, I know it feels like betrayal.
This will strengthen the bond he has with his dad, and maybe even you as well.
Its normal to want to be with his dad. Let him go and experience it even if it’s for a year.
He’s growing into a young man and at that age a boy needs his father more than when he was younger my son is 11 he spends more time with his father now and it’s ok
I think as long as you all have a good relationship, you should let him. I don’t know why you’re mad at your kid… You say you resent him? He’s going to resent YOU later on if you act selfish.
I would find out why. That really is what it should all be based on. If he is just mad at you and being a typical teenager than both you and the dad should agree to not let him have his way every time he gets mad. If he wants to go because he wants to have that relationship with his dad or something is going on at school etc I think you should consider it. I understand it’s hard to hear those words as a mom but I urge you to push your feelings aside to figure out the why
Let him. If it’s a safe environment and your child will be OK, let him try it out. You can create a visiting plan and stay connected to him. In the end, it’s about the child being happy and well. Feelings come and go, try to see it from your child’s view point and the resentment will fade, the child is not doing it to hurt you.
Let him go. Hes getting to the age he needs his father
So why are you saying no? Is Dad not living in a safe environment or is this just your issues?
This isn’t about you this is about your child. At 12 years old he needs his dad. Let him go you guys on Christmas like every other dad does.
Stopping him is only going to go worse on your end then you’d think it would.
Dont resent your son especially if you two currently have a good relationship. He’s 12. Boys go through a lot at that age. He needs the male influence. I’d definitely find out if the desire is for school purposes or whatever they might be. Also make sure your son understands what he would be leaving (i.e. friends, family if all are there local).
I’ve been there. Both my boys ended up going to live with their dad. Their dad and I get along really well so not a problem. They still come and stay with me and I go to all of their events, text daily, and have dinner once or twice a week with them. They are only an hour away tho. The same sex parent is very important especially when the child is heading into puberty. Your child wanting to live with dad isn’t a knock against you. It’s a need they have. It’s hard to take at first but do not in any way make your child feel bad about it. It will get easier especially if you and dad get along well.
It’s his dad, let him go.
Children have two parents not just us mamas. If a man is around for his son and loves his son and his son wants to live with him then I don’t see that as an issue.
Don’t fucking resent him. He’s trying to do what’s best for him. You can’t be pissed off by that. And don’t dare hold it against him.
Find out why and let him have a trial period of it like during the summer. If by the end of the summer he wants to still move, let him.