My son has been acting out since my mom and her foster child moved in: Advice?

I am at a loss. My son turned five recently, and my mother and her foster child (age 7 had his sense eight weeks) the same the night before and are staying through August. My son and I are currently living in her summer house. My son had been a pretty good kid, quiet, respectful, and kind. Since my mom and the other child arrived, he like a whole different child! He whines, cry’s, hits me, and throws things, and it’s over the smallest stuff like suggest we go on a walk instead of the Wii full 30 min meltdown. Hit me, threw things at me, screamed, and cried. I can’t even get to sit for a time out because he refuses, too, and I injured myself a few weeks back(unrelated to him)and can’t physically move him. Already this morning I had to walk away because I wasn’t sure what I would do if we were together, I’m a single mom, so there is no one else to bounce off of. Thanks for any help.

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He’s jealous and acting out for attention.

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Take him somewhere away from the other child and do something just the two if you see if he still acts like that .

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Definitely sounds like jealousy.

The more you allow the behavior the worse it will get.

Big changes in his life will make big emotions. He probably doesn’t know how to identify them to talk about them. Make sure that the older kid isn’t bullying him. Alot of times, kids act out when they get picked on.

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Have you tryed to calm him and ask him what’s wrong ect … on non related time maybe sit down and ask him how he feels recently an how he feels about the other child ect

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Maybe hes just acting out infront of the other kid cause he might not understand why the kids there if hes fosterd maybe if u explain to him also if u threaten him with taking him back homw if he keeps acting out he might behave

Sounds like he feels he is in competition. Huge adjustment for him. One on one talks is necessary and maybe taking him out of the environment more would benefit him

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I recommend the page “parenting with connection” they have a wealth of advice and info on this type of thing. The members are all very kind and not judgmental in the slightest!

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Maybe make sure he has his own space and is still getting plenty of one on one with you. He may be having a hard time adjusting to having the attention split with another child in the home.

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When my son does something major he’s not supposed to I pop him. Right on the bottom. Not enough to leave a mark but enough to where it gets the point across. That he shouldn’t be doing what it is he’s doing. Throwing things at you? I’d swat my son for that. Some mothers or parents don’t approve of it. But it’s your child. And if he’s refusing time out hitting you, throwing things at you, you may not have a choice. After a few times he will stop.

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You need to investigate. My first thought was that the 7yo is bullying him behind your back. Kids will lash out on the closest person to them when they hurting emotionally.

It can also be that he’s never had to compete or share be with another person. He’s confused about where he fits in the new family.

He’s trying to tell you something. Don’t punish him or be mean to him. He’ll loose trust in you & act out more. Do a little detective work. Find out what’s going on.

I’ll give a little example. I was had a friend who had a son my son’s age. The other boy was much bigger & more agreesive. When we were together at one of our homes the mom & I would be talking or whatever while the boys played. Well my son started acting out. Same behaviors you described. I kept asking him what was wrong. He’d say nothing. I punished him with time out & taking things away. Nothing changed. Then 1 day we were over there I caught my son sitting on the other kids bed doing nothing while he played with my son’s toys. As soon as he saw me he threw toys at my son & tried to get him to act like he was playing. Another time I left to go to the bathroom. Found my son in the corner while the other kid was playing. Mom said he was acting up so she put him in time out. I sat my child down & asked him questions. It turns out that when were around them the other kid would take his toys. Usually break them. If he refused to let the other kid have his toys to break, let him win at a game or not follow that moms rules that were against mine he was punished. I cut off contact with both of them & mom harassed me to let my kid come over. Anyway you may not see what’s going on. You only see how HIS behavior affects YOU. You don’t see how others behaviors affect him. You need to find out. Even if you have to hide cameras in the areas they play or put a listening devise on him.

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Take the Wii away not for a hour or two but away unless it’s educational games and then it is only between certain time of the day …if you baby or give in to his "fits " than it’s only going to get worse .you can’t say no snacks and because he decided to behave you give him one .

This child is problem watch out! He probably from a abusive family and that is all he knows! Stop PRETENDING that everything is going to be OK

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It’s actually normal behavior. When a child’s normal routine is interrupted, they act out. At 5, they don’t know how to regulate their emotions as well as older kids and adults so they act out. Be patient and try to get back to a routine. Talk to your son and let him know everything is okay. He needs plenty of reassurance. Good luck, momma. This too shall pass.

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Does the other child act like this? He may just be copying what he sees or he may be jealous. My kids act up more if their grandma is around cause they think they can get by with more. Try taking to him when he’s calm, maybe sit down and color a picture with him or play a game he may open up unknowingly and help you solve the problem. Good luck to you, hope it works out for you both.

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Probably talk to like a child counselor I’m sure hes just acting out because of the change and having another child there and that’s just how he is coping but a counselor could help him use positive coping mechanisms and better ways to express his emotions

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Make sure he’s getting the attention he needs and also assure yourself if you leave your child alone with your mom and her foster child that he’s not being abused whether emotionally, physically or verbally as that can alter a child’s Behavior as well

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