In the past few weeks, my five-year-old son has asked a few times what death is?Why do we die, and why can’t he stop thinking about dying? He worries about getting old because we(his parents)are going to die, himself included. He has said he knows his grandpa is going to die because he’s already old. But in the past few weeks, it has been much more frequent two times a week. He says it makes him sad and that he wants to cry and asks how he can stop his brain from thinking about it. Yesterday at the park he slid down the slide, came up to me and said mommy I don’t want to think about this, but my brain wants to talk about dying(death) I asked him why do you think about that? He answered because I died already and when I asked what do you mean he didn’t answer and it was as if he hadn’t heard me. That was the first time he’s ever mentioned that. He is a very social and happy boy, loves school, sleeps & eats very well. Just an add on: He’s never suffered any traumatic accident or injury I’ve never had a miscarriage or abortion, he has never been baptized. How should I take care of this??
Theyve prob been talking about it at school.
My 5 yr old went through the same because one of her friends at school lost somebody close and the teachers spoke about death to them.
If your worried speak to the teachers first then the dr.
As for saying hes died before… I’ve read lots of cases where somebody remembers a past life. Its weather you believe that or not.
Also it could be a dream playing on his mind. As adults we all know how real dreams can feel xxx
My Dad died when I was 4yrs old. I feel like that mapped out my whole life, and not in a positive way. Please take him to a professional so he does not end up like I did. Even one or 2 times may do the trick. Don’t play around with this. For every question he has no answer for, he will make up his own. But it sounds like you have a really good communication going. Best wishes!
If he seriously cannot stop thinking about it, please take him to a professional. I understand sometimes it is just curiosity, but sometimes it can be a lot more…go a lot deeper. I lost someone very close to me at a very young age. My problems started similarly to your sons. I thought about death a lot, worried about my family dying, then about myself dying. It turned into severe anxiety and hypochondria i went through a horrible time in my youth that i constantly thought i was dying, had constant panic attacks, could not be left alone because i thought i would die or one of my family members would die. Even once i cried myself to sleep i would dream of seeing my family dead or dream i was dying. I had four sisters and two brothers, so things were difficult on my mom and dad. I know it had to happen often because i can remember her telling me if i kept doing this or acting like i was crazy i would have to be sent away. So i learned to hide it. I Still have some anxiety issues as well as panic attacks to this day. You sound like you have a wonderful open relationship/communication with your son. I am not saying this will happen to him just that it could. Keep your eye out, i think you will know if its beyond your help and he needs a professional.
My grandma and great grandma just passed away within weeks of each other. My 5 year old has become so curious as well.
Maybe this is the age where they start realizing we don’t and can’t live forever.
Sounds exactly like my grandson who just turned 5. He has been asking us the same questions. But i was thinking because in his few years of life a few family members have already passed away a few of natural causes and a few not.
sounds like he is figuring things out in his mind…interesting…and glad he talks about his figuring…
You may be able to find good information on griefshare.org
Just be truthful with your child. Young kids are often conduits for those beyond our grasp. Ask him, in a gentle way, if he’s had this type of experience. It may explain a lot of his questions.
When my granddaughter was about 4 she started talking about people that visited her in her room at night. She talked about a little girl and a little boy that were nice. Then she would talk about an old man in a black suit that was mean. When her mother talked to her about it, she would say they had died and they were lonely. Her mom would hear her talking to them in her room and the only time she would come crying was when the mean man would visit her. Her mom, quietly and in her mind, was freaking out. Oh, I forgot to say a large cemetery was behind their house. This continued quite often until she was around 6. Then it just stopped and no more visits.
Its very natural for children to try to understand about death. Sadly we adults dont really accept death well so its hard to educate children. But answer his questions even if the are repetitive but keep them simple.
One more idea. I suffer from insomnia. I’ve subscribed to an app called Calm. It’s for help to sleep, to meditate, to release anxiety, and many more. There are MANY sleep stories and relaxation stories for kids on there. I love it; it helps me.
He is asking you. That’s means he’s ready to hear about it. Be honest. Explain it’s a natural part of life and that it happens to everyone. I’d add that it’s a good thing since otherwise we wouldn’t try to have as much fun as we do. Tell him it’s nothing to be afraid of, that it’s natural.
My 5 year old asked me about it, we recently had two people in the family die. I explained that death is apart of life, and although it’s sad, it’s okay because we’ll move on to a better place.(idk if you believe in that.) i would bring it up to my pediatrician about any referrals for him to speak to someone about it. Sounds like he could use some therapy to work through it.
I have no suggestions about the topic of death but there is a book called There’s A Bully In My Brain by Kristin O’Rourke that teaches kids about their anxiety. It really helped my daughter when she was in kindergarten and we still reference it now that she is 7. She knows those thoughts are “bully” thoughts and how to treat them.
Sounds like he’s an old soul and maybe reincarnated? Try sitting down with him and watching some YouTube about death and allow yourselves to explore it together and ask questions etc. Maybe he will begin to understand it after he sees others talking about it and then he can express that to you. Death is part of life and the more we accept it for what it is, the happier we can be. Death is a beautiful thing and there is nothing wrong with being curious. This life is a beautiful thing. Every single part of it.
It could be a lot of things that made him say that, just Bc everybody interprets things differently. Especially kiddos. I know that’s scary for him.
What I did was try to normalize it or make it okay. Being up people that are hurting and when they pass, they’re not in pain and that’s a good thing. It’s a hard topic, but every kid is different and you know him best, so using that as a guide as well as not romanticizing it or demonizing it (in my opinion) may help.
He has anxiety over this. I’d see about maybe taking him to a councilor who can help him. I know I dwell on it alot do to my anxiety and it helps to talk to someone.
Has he seen a movie where a person passes away?
Answer his questions the best that you can. I had these same questions as a kid and they always went unanswered. Questions about how my father died went unanswered, too. My biggest fear is death. Scares the living crap out of me and gives me small panic attacks. Do your best or seek therapy for him.
If you are religious have him baptized and tell him about heaven. My son talked about this and still does because my papa passed away last year. He asks questions and I tell him that everyone and everything dies. There is nothing we can do about it and then I try to say something positive about life and how we should be happy and when you get those thoughts just to yell that you are alive. It is a difficult thing to process and talk about. I’m religious and it has made him feel better knowing he will go to heaven one day
From what I understand young children worry a lot about life and death. I made sure my young son knew about Heaven and that he would be able to see those who died before