My son hates being without me: Advice?

I’m a single mom, and my son is four years and five months old. He has never been to daycare. Not that I didn’t try to get him into one! My son’s father isn’t involved too much. So I’m not sure if that makes him extra clingy to me or not. But I can’t do anything without him. Bathroom, shower. He cries when i leave the house. He is potty trained, but he refuses to put his clothes on himself. I try hard to work on it because school is around the corner, and I’m doing my best to get him ready for it. He also won’t go to the bathroom without me. When we talk about him going to school soon, it breaks his heart of the thought of having to go without me. I do my best to come up with encouraging reasons as to why he will have so much fun there. And not to be worried about it. All of this kills me I side tho lol I’m very worried. This is my only child, so all of this is new to both of us. I try to be strong, but I swear I’m going to cry along with him over this lmao we are both scared for this next chapter in life. So what I’m looking for is for maybe people to share their stories of their first child’s school experiences that can relate to this. Even better if they never been to preschool or any of that. I’m just looking for some guidance on this. Thank you.

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Preschool. Transition him now.

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I am a nursery/preschool teacher and a mom- my advice would be to try to get him into a school setting ASAP. I know you said you’ve tried, and I’m spurious why it didn’t work? Too full or because he was upset? Either way as a momma I know it’s tough but it’s best for both of you to try to break it sooner than later! PM me if you’d like to talk further and good luck mama :heart:

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You just have to do it, it’s going to be hard at first but the best thing for him is starting the transition for day-care and school now, when u leave he will cry but they are used to thank and know how to redirect the kids to calm them down and it will be like that for some time but then he will know mommy brings me here but mommy always comes back for and will be ok

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Start going to playgroups. The library also holds fun kid activities i suggest you teach him to socialise because school isnt optional and he will struggle

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Find a local preschool/daycare with kids who are transitioning into kindergarten at his local school next fall. That gives him plenty of time to adjust in a less strict school setting, AND make friends who he is likely to see in class on his first day of school, and on the bus.

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Also star charts are great. A star for each thing he completes,at the end of the week a treat. Perhaps u could have choosing his clothes getting dressed helped tidy up brushed his teeth simple achievable goals

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Also parks are good and theres often another kother just dying to get out and to talk to someone

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Is he socialized at all? Maybe try a story hour at a library or a mommy and me type class. There are places like MyGym, Little Gym, and Gymboree. Get him around other people with structured activities.

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Baby steps… focus on one thing at a time. Maybe like toileting first and use a reward chart.

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My kids all started at a family day care then moved onto a bigger kindy then school. 2 days a week could be good for the both of you xxx

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Girl… You will cry i am a mom to 4 and cried with all, its a special/bittersweet moment. Be encouraging and don’t let him see you upset. It does get easier, especially when the excitement to go grows and it will :blush:

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My son was the same-way
I enrolled him in pre school program at age 5 it was 4 days a week only and only from 1-4 pm it helped him so much
( first day was hard) but he loved it !
It help prepare him for kindergarten the following year now he is 11 and at times he does not want to be bothered with me lol
It will be better once he goes to pre school or kindergarten

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I suggest starting at home first. When either of you go to the bathroom explain how long you’ll be in there and give him a timer. Shut the door. If he throws a fit dont engage. When you’re done. Open the door and be excited to see him. If he sits patiently, reward him. Stamps, stickers, extra 5 minutes of electronics. Once hes good with that work your way up to something bigger like a chic fil a or McDonalds play land. He can still see you but he can go play. Then I’d work up to leaving him alone at play dates or at a friends house for an hour and increase time.

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He needs play dates at a park or at a location that is not home. You need to be there so he doesn’t freak out but he will start to enjoy being with other kids his age and start to was up on needing you right there at all times

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Maybe see if hes autistic

It’s hard and some kids are more sensitive and “clingy” than others. My youngest is 4 as well and still clings to me when I drop her off. She also plays me lol she doesnt pull a lot of the stuff with her dad or other family. Just make it a good experience. Kids pick up on things. Get him in a program, even if it’s a few days a week. He will carry on I’m sure, but just know it’s for the best and what he needs. Also, start holding him accountable. If he refuses to get dressed tell.him ok no going with mommy or if he wont potty without you tell him he will be losing a toy. Anything to show there are consequences

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Mother’s Day out program to start

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See if your library has story time or some other activities with kids his age. That would be a good place to start bc you can go with him. Take him to the school where he will be attending and let him play on the playground. That way when he attends it will be somewhat familiar. If the school has a play, take him to it. Anything to help familiarize him with the school. Also maybe try a reward system for him when he does something independently. Maybe start with allowing him to pick out his own clothes. When he goes to the bathroom are you just sitting there with him? Maybe start straightening things in the bathroom so you’re technically still with him but he’s doing it on his own. Then each time move a little closer to the door where perhaps you’re not within eye sight. Or try standing outside the door and talk to him through the door so he knows you’re there but not in the room. Then again, each time get a little farther away from the door.

My daughter Kayla Noel Jackson. Is goin thur the same thing.My grandson will stay with me.And he loves to play with other kids.So were lucky in that area.But hes never been n daycare or preschool yet.Seems lik everyone is giving good advice.I tagged her.So she can also read the advice. Im sure u both will b fine.It is very hard sometimes😕

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